My visit to the North Country - Meeting the brother and Canadians aren't as nice as I thought

The area where Drew's parents live is called the North Country.  It's the upper part of New York State, New Hampshire and Vermont, although they don't identify as strongly.  I asked if Maine was considered part of it but I was told that they're more New England than North Country.  I learned all kinds of things on my trip.  But the main thing is it's way the heck up north.  And really freaking cold.

We flew into Montreal using Drew's airline points and because it was closer to his house that way - his parent's house was only about a two-hour drive from the Montreal airport.  His brother Nate and his fiancee Julie were going to pick us up and we thought we were just going to drive straight to his parent's house when we arrived.

They surprised us with a night in Montreal!  How sweet is that!  It was our Christmas/wedding present, but more importantly it gave the four of us time to get to know each other before we were thrown into the Christmas chaos.  Looking back, I am soooo thankful for that time because I'm sure I would have had multiple panic attacks without having that buffer of knowing someone other than Drew when we walked in the door.

I was prepared for the weather - since it was decided that I was indeed going to have to go through with this, I did my best to steel myself against the cold.  I bought angora socks (from Target and I couldn't recommend them more.  My little toes stayed warm the entire time!), I wore my warmest coat and resolved to stay indoors as much as possible.

Arriving at the Montreal airport.  I had already begun to freeze.

It was such a treat being in Montreal because I love all things French.  I have a degree in it, books in French, I love French movies, all of it.  And I know that they are French-Canadian but for me, just seeing the signs in French and hearing the gate agent make the welcome announcement in English and French was so awesome!

We found out about our surprise when Drew called Nate to let him know we'd arrived.  What a way to start off on the right foot!  They'd gotten a suite for all of us and we had dinner reservations that night and we'd head to his parent's the next morning.  How cool!  Then we arrived at our hotel.

They SMOKE!!!!!!  I mean, Drew told me they both did beforehand, but somehow it didn't click.  It didn't compute.  I may be naive, or all my friends are yoga-fied or something, but I honestly didn't think anyone did that anymore!  Or at least that people did still do that, but other people, strangers, not my new brother-in-law and my future sister-in-law.  I was flabbergasted.  I stepped off the elevator and my nostrils started stinging.  We were on a smoking FLOOR?!  They still HAVE those?  It's like coming upon someone using a rotary-dial phone.  At first, you're confused - why would you still do that?  Then you're fascinated - people really still do that?  Then you want to help - you know they make cellphones now right?  I wanted to take a picture of the sign in French that said "This section is reserved for our smoking clients" but Nate came out of the room to greet us before I could get my wits about me and get my camera out.  I wanted to get a shot of this...this...anomaly.    

We got to the room and the smoke smell was worse and my eyes started to sting.  I wondered how I'd be able to sleep in there.  I better start drinking.

Luckily, Nate is super cool and Julie is an absolute doll.  I'm serious - I adore her.  She has such a sweet genuine energy that made it super easy to talk to her.  They had gotten some wine at the corner newstand that they admitted was horrible but we all laughed and drank it anyway - it was indeed horrible.

We sat in the 'living room' of our suite and chatted, and I felt so much better about things.  They're normal people - Nate has a great sense of humor and Julie was so open and sincere that I couldn't help but like her. 

Nate and Julie

Soon enough the boys moved to the 'dining room' table to chat and left us on the sofa.  We got down to the girl talk - what Drew's (and Nate's) hometown is like since she'd been there more often (they live in New York City), what I can expect when we arrive.  I even told her that I'd had a panic attack before we left - she was very reassuring, saying that it'll be much easier with the four of us together now.  I totally agreed. 

I also studied Drew and Nate and their similarities.  Genetics fascinate me, how children look like their parents, what traits get passed down, how now that the boys were in the same room I could totally tell they were brothers even though Nate is several inches taller.  They have the same eyes, the same chin, and similar hands.  I always look at hands - it's my thing.  I have pictures of my mom and my Aunt Mary's hands and it's so cool how similar they are.  Drew and Nate have the same hands too, Nate's fingers are just a little longer.

Same square hand shape, but Drew has fat fingers just like his fat feet that I love. 

He'll love that I put that out there.

After drinking most of that terrible wine, we bundled up and headed out to dinner.  We were still early for our reservations so we went to a bar near the restaurant and I got to use my French!  The guy didn't even start speaking English once he heard me talk!  That's a good sign that you're doing well - when they don't even bother with your pathetic attempts at speaking their language and just switch to English.  Nate was duly impressed, which is all that matters.  I wanted them to have a good impression of me.

We had a round of drinks and went to pay out when our server informed us that they *can't* take our debit cards, that it had to be cash only.  Thank God Nate and Julie had some cash on them.  We paid the tab, bundled up again and walked over to the restaurant.

We had awesome tapas, wonderful bottles of wine and had loose easy conversation thanks to those wonderful bottles of wine.  Alcohol of some sort should be involved any time you have strangers together and everyone is uncomfortable.  It just helps, y'all.  That's why big weddings that don't have alcohol are so boring.  You put all these strangers in a room with each other and nothing to smooth things out?  Inconceivable!  But I digress.

The bill arrived and again the debit card machine is broken!!  Really Canada?  Really?  Because it looks to me like you have a restaurant full of people who are ALL not obviously paying cash!  With your dumb ol French accents - wee are so sorree, you af to pay ze cash onlee, our masheen, eet ees bro-ken to-night.  Broken credit card machine?  That's all you got?  When you just swiped a card from someone else on a machine that's very obviously NOT broken?  I guess it's just broken for the Americans huh.  You know, you shouldn't treat your NEIGHBORS like that, it's not nice.  Someone needs a lesson in HOSPITALITY.  *I may have been drunk by this point.*

Nate and Julie had to go DOWN the street, in the COLD, to find an ATM so the dumb ol Canadians wouldn't have to pay the additional fee to process an American credit card.  Punks.

Now that I was nice and tipsy the cold wasn't nearly as jarring - yea for that!  I wasn't drunk enough for the smoke smell not to bother me when we got back to the room but that was quickly remedied by the other giant bottle of nasty wine that we had, which I couldn't taste by that point anyway.  So it was a win all around.

We stayed up late talking at which point the miscarriage came up.  It was just me and Julie on the sofa and we were talking quietly so I'm not sure if the boys heard us.  It's not like it was a secret, but I didn't want to make them uncomfortable.  She offered her condolences and I talked more about it than I probably should have, but the blame for that lays squarely with the wine.  It does.

Talking about it now that I don't tear up at the mere mention is very surreal.  It's not far enough away that it feels like I'm talking about someone else, but I do feel like I'm talking about something that's happening in another room and I'm separated by a pane of glass.  It's still accessible but not so raw.  I tried not to go into too much detail because I didn't want her to get uncomfortable and we all know how hard it is to recover from the moment when too much has been said and the awkwardness just hangs in the air.  I didn't want her image of me to be 'the girl that's had the miscarriage.'  It's a part of me, it always will be, but that's not my whole story and I wanted her to know all the other parts of me too.  So I just changed the subject, hoping I wasn't being too obvious.  She and Nate are getting married in October and it's going to be a big huge deal.  She's Italian and there's going to be lots and lots of family.  That's my kind of party.

We went to bed that night and I was very content.  My anxiety surrounding Nate and Julie had completely disappeared - they are awesome people and I'm super lucky to know them!

Christmas Eve morning we got up early and made the two hour drive to Norwood, NY stopping at The Beer Store (such an original name) to pick up Drew's dad's favorite Canadian beer.  Crossing customs with beer in the trunk was so nerve-wracking for me.  Ok, what do I say if he asks me questions?  Do I tell them I'm unemployed?  Do we say that we're from Texas?  Will that make us seem suspicious?  Do we have to pay customs fees on the beer?  Will they strip-search us?  Do I have to stand in the cold?  If they make me get out of the car you have to come too, you're my husband.  You will NOT leave me Andrew!  I can't believe you'd let the Canadian customs have me!  You suck!  Oh shit here they come, everybody act sober.  It was two in the afternoon, we were all sober and I had hidden my crazy for approximately twelve hours.  That's gotta be a record or something.

We made it throgh customs at the Canadian border without incident, although the customs guy did ask me to roll down my window to look into the backseat at Julie and me.  My hand shook a little bit as I hit the button - I would suck as a spy or a drug mule.  I would give it all up the second you looked at me sideways. 

After a pretty uneventful drive, where Nate and I discussed movies and we all talked about spending some summer holiday together, we arrived in Norwood - population 3,000.  Give or take.  It's quaint little town, with big Victorian houses with wraparound porches sat next door to run-down trailers. 

Drew's mom had lasagna waiting for us and Christmas dinner was going to be a feast!  I couldn't wait!

Except that the feast involved great big groups of people that I didn't know.  That I met all at once.  When I wasn't ready. 

About that....