Rent the runway - take 2

I've got some energy today!  Not much, but it's more than yesterday so it counts.  Even though I had to order my compression hose today and even though a lady in my office told me I really look pregnant today - not in the nice way - at least I've got some pep in my fingers for some storytelling.  And it's thanks to you once again!  You guys are my juice, my mojo and every time you leave me such beautiful thoughtful comments I just want to give you big squishy rib-crushing hugs.  But I'm totally calling you out GG!  How are you going to leave me the most awesome comment ever in the world and then not even have an email address so I can respond with the internet equivalent of a squishy hug!  Come on now!  I mean, unless you want to remain anonymous in which case that's totally fine by me.  I just want you to know how awesome you are, that's all.


Okay, SO!   Rent the Runway - it was a bust the last time.  The dresses were way too small and I ended up having to 'rent' a dress from Macy's at the last minute.  However, they were very prompt in issuing my refund and gave me 10% off my next order and apologized profusely, so I didn't hold a grudge.  If someone apologizes well, accept it and move the hell on.  Holding grudges makes you ugly.


And that's what I did.  With all forgiven, I went back to Rent the Runway to pick a dress for my office Christmas party that was last Saturday.  I had my eye on a particular dress and I learned from my past mistakes.  This time I chatted with their stylist and told her that I was pregnant and wanted to make sure that the dress I had my eye on was indeed 'bump friendly.' They've since changed their website and you can no longer copy pictures (I was going to give them credit!) and they no longer have a 'bump friendly' section.  You have to type 'bump friendly' into the search bar and it gives you their picks, some of which I'm positive a non-pregnant person chose.  But, they had the dress I wanted in my new, bigger size so I crossed my fingers and hoped for the best.


Once again, it arrived right on time and when I got home from work Friday night, I did a trial run.

There was a lot of fabric and it looked like a giant skirt.

I was surprised to find that this wasn't connected.

It didn't say that on the site and I didn't even think to ask - 

'so, does the dress require assembly?' 

I think the Christmas socks are what makes the outfit.

Okay fine, I'll ditch the socks and try it with my shoes.

While doing my best Dracula impression.

And look!  I'm comin in on that snooze button!

There might have been some Zorro impressions 

going on as well.  Hands down, this was the most FUN dress I've ever worn!

I'm just sayin

Okay, that's what it looked like for real. 

It was a little longer than the website would have you to believe,

but I was okay with that.

I wanted to do a smooth pompadour/ponytail type-thing, but I had cleaned the house from top to bottom all day Saturday and had no energy for hair so I did a messy ponytail, piled on the mostly pink makeup, threw on some hoop earrings and called it good.  I don't like messy updos of any kind, but I gave myself a pregnant pass.

My awesome co-worker Jana.  The room was super dark

and my camera super sucks.  Sorry bout that.

They had a photo booth complete with cheesy accessories.

I should have kept my Christmas socks - with the hat AND the socks

I would have been so money!!

Attempt #1 at a picture of us

#2

Come ON babe, DAMN!

Finally!

Drew was a total trooper - he'd just gotten home a couple of hours before and didn't really want to go.  He went straight to Vegas from Key West and hadn't been home for two weeks!  Poor thing, but he rallied and put on a pink shirt for me so we could look like we were going to prom.  I'd told everyone about him and I loved showing him off!  It was a lot of fun to see everyone out of their work clothes and having a good time and the hotel was so beautiful!  The food was good, the music was just cheesy enough and it was all very office-party appropriate.  We had a really great time and I had just enough energy to be social, although both of us slept super late the next day and my back and feet were KILLING me from my shoes!  I hobbled around most of the next day but it was totally worth it - I got tons of compliments on my dress AND my husband so it was a total success.

I don't have any more fancy events to go to while pregnant so I won't get to try RTR out again but maybe when I'm skinny again I'll try some of their regular dresses.  It really is a pretty sweet deal - as long as you ask tons of questions before renting!

  "Baby, take one more picture."

"Ugh, can't we just leave."

"Come ON, it's for my BLOG!"

Uncomfortable

I think I'm officially pregnant.  Like my good friend Gem says, shit's gettin real.  In the first trimester I was way super extra hormonal, crying and screaming and crying some more but once I got off the progesterone supplements I returned to my normal rational self.  Next Friday I will be 6 months pregnant and I can hardly believe it.  I'm excited for that day to come because 24 weeks means viability.  If something GOD FORBID should happen after 24 weeks, we've got a shot at survival.  By no means do I want to have to contemplate that so stay where you are, little girl.  BUT, viability is a beautiful word. I feel great, I can still get around without too much difficulty and aside from the shots, pregnancy is being kind to me.  However, I'm not immune to the normal pregnancy shifts and changes that happen to everyone making room for another human being.


I have started to get uncomfortable.  The kicks used to be all hello mommy, I'm alive and here and I love you.  Now it's a little more like the comic book POW! THUMP! OOF!  And it's only going to get stronger!  (I refuse to say worse.  I will not refer to anything about my pregnancy progress as worse.  With more time, the closer I get to a healthy baby.  There's nothing worse about that.)  YET, for the first time today sitting in my chair is taking a lot of effort and involves lots of shifting around to accommodate for the sore hips and back and the varicose veins that have decided to be all Hello!  We're your varicose veins and we're going to hurt all day!  I vainly held off ordering the compression hose even though I knew I was going to need them, and now I'm going to have to pay full price because I missed the sale.  I will be ordering them tomorrow.


This all means that I haven't felt like telling stories today.  And it's not for lack of stories - we had our office Christmas party on Saturday and I gave Rent the Runway another chance and it worked out!  I took some great funny (at least to me) pictures and there were a couple more fun things we did in Key West.


But I can't bring myself to compose the stories, upload the pictures, edit the links and make it interesting.  I don't know if you could tell from yesterday's post, but my heart wasn't really in it.  And when my heart's not in it, it makes for blah writing.  That's the last thing I want - I'm not getting paid to write this blog so there is no reason I should ever phone it in.  


Of course, I have the energy to whine though - funny how that works.  I still have the compulsion to write, just not the compulsion to tell stories - just for today.  I'm sure I can shake it and I'll be back to my old self tomorrow.


Thanks for sticking with me y'all.

Shark!

On our second day, Drew booked us a snorkeling trip.  In addition to being part werewolf, Drew is also part fish.  He loves the ocean and would gladly live in swim trunks and slippers (flip-flops, thongs, whatever you want to call them) every day of his life.  I enjoy the water and the ocean but something about being pregnant has turned me into a big scaredy-cat.  Mother's intuition?  


But I was game and the boat was reassuringly big.  Our guide Dustin was a total surfer dude with dreads and the stoner laugh and he was very charming.  There was a bachelorette party on the trip and they were all smitten with Dustin, sun-tanned eye candy that he was.  I was too busy looking for seatbelts and lifejackets and wondering if my belly would make me more buoyant or not.

 Listening as Dustin tells us how to stay alive

Drew wanted me to walk to the front of the boat to get a better view and I tried, but I was so unsteady on my feet that I actually cried a little, so he let me sit back down.  I was surprised at how wimpy I was acting, but I couldn't help it.  All I wanted to do was stay seated until the boat stopped moving.  Rather than judge myself or be judged by anyone else, I sat my happy ass down and left Drew to go up front and be one with the ocean.

I did concede to a couple of pictures, but only if

I could white-knuckle the railing, hence the weird forced smile.

I even tried to be a good sport and get into the spirit for a belly shot.

Five months and lookin tubby.

Immediately after Drew took this, I sat back down.

You shouldn't stand when boats are moving anyway - I'm sure I heard that somewhere.

However, once the boat stopped moving it was a much different story.  The waves were a little more active than I preferred but at least I was a little steadier on my feet.  Before we headed out, I told Dustin that I was pregnant.  I had no shame - I wanted him to keep his eye on me and make sure that I was okay.  And I have to tell you, all my Hypnobirthing and hippie reading is starting to get to me because I actually bristled when he said "Oh for sure, I'll keep an eye on you.  Thanks for telling me, I forgot to ask if anyone had any pre-existing medical conditions in my speech."  I very nearly began to lecture him that pregnancy is not a medical condition nor is it pre-existing and I am NOT sick, pregnancy and birth are normal physiological processes and should be treated as such and are you familiar with Ina May?  Rixa Freeze?  Don't make me school you son!  Where them flippers at?!  I sat at the edge of the steps and got suited up.  I had my mask, life jacket, flippers and my noodle and I was ready to go!

The water was so chilly!  It wasn't unbearable but I would have preferred the water a little warmer.  Thankfully, I got used to it pretty quickly and me and my tubby belly set off to take some underwater pictures!

   We jumped right into a school of fish

Drew the fish took off pretty quickly and 

he and Dustin bonded as fellow waterbabies.

He went all the way underwater while I stayed close to the surface the whole time.

I'm such a scaredy-cat!

The reefs were so pretty, and while I'm glad we sprung for the disposable underwater camera, the colors were so much prettier in real life!  There were a couple of times that it got pretty shallow and I had to be all Mission Impossible to keep from touching them because we'd been given strict instructions not to touch anything.

Tropical fishies - they were so much more vibrant in real life!

We swam out a little further and then it got interesting!

That may not look like much, but that is a barracuda!

And that, y'all, is a Mother Effin Shark!

My boy Dustin failed to mention that we might run into sharks out there on the reef!  Yeah yeah, it was a nurse shark and then his friend the reef shark joined him and neither of them are dangerous, but holy shitballs, that's a Mother Effin Shark!  I snapped my picture and did my best slow backward swim, hoping that it wouldn't get curious.  Harmless or not, I wasn't interested in that damn thing coming any closer.  Drew came to find me shortly after we both spotted the sharks and I was plenty content to stay right next to him, near the surface.  Where the rest of the group could see me.  And hear me.  If I had to scream.  I'm just sayin.

I was trying to do a half in, half out of the water thing

but it's really hard to get a steady shot when being rocked by the waves and 

trying to keep one eye on the sharks.

We went to another spot but Drew and Dustin were the only ones who stayed in the whole time.  I went in for a short while, but this spot was colder than the last one and I was getting tired.  I climbed back in, put on my hotel robe and was content to enjoy the ocean.  Seated.  And safe - at the back of the boat. 

I can now say that I swam with sharks - who cares if it was involuntary.  And how many kids can say that they swam with sharks before they were even born!  I may have been a scaredy-cat, but I think my daughter liked it - she was thumping me the whole time.  Even though the water was cold, it felt great to be carried by the current of the ocean.  It was so tranquil and had the water been warmer, I would have stayed all day.  Every part of me felt light and it was a great experience.

I'm so thankful we did this before we went fishing.