Peen or vagine???

We went to the Maternal Fetal Medicine specialist this morning.  We'd gotten the results from the NT scan a few weeks ago and everything came back normal which is always a huge relief.  However, it's still not any easier to go to the doctor to have an ultrasound and this time was no exception.  As we got ready for bed last night I asked Drew if he thought I was still pregnant and he said yes, definitely.  "Yes, but do you think it's alive?"  since, you know, you can be pregnant with a dead baby.  The fact that my clotting factors can cause late-term miscarriage and stillbirth remains a constant in the back of my mind.  It makes me think of Gilbert Grape and Leonardo DiCaprio saying "I could go at any time!"  But Drew reassured me that the baby was there, it was alive and I was able to fall asleep.  


I started bouncing my legs and breathing funny in the elevator, mumbling that I hated this part.  There's really no good way to steel yourself against the possibility of bad news and the anticipation always makes it so much worse.  Luckily, my MFM is complete and total awesomesauce!  He gets the nerves and the anxiety and knows just what to say and how to say it.  Seriously, Joshua Weiss MD, is good people!  And he's way cuter than his website picture - I told him so.  Just as soon as he walked into the room and we had some quick pleasantries, he got right to business finding the heartbeat straight away.  As I laid back, I chanted be alive, be alive, be alive under my breath.


It's alive!  Alive!!


My DAUGHTER is alive!!


Yup, me and Drew made us a little baby girl!  We're going to have a daughter!  A daddy's little girl!  A diva like her mama!  A strong, proud, smart, beautiful, gracious, thoughtful little girl!  


I didn't even do the ugly cry like I did last time.  Last time I was so relieved it SHE was alive I was snotting and crying all over the place.  This time I just squealed and marveled over all her little parts.  


This was a detailed ultrasound - it was a little over 20 minutes long and I loved it!  It was blurry and blobby but then her spine and ribs would magically appear and I'd be all I see a spine!  Then he zoomed in on her heart and we could see as clear as day her four perfect chambers, the valves valve-ing in perfect time.  He checked her feet to make sure they weren't clubbed and we counted ten perfect little glowy spots.  Her hands were good too and you could even see the ulna and radius in her forearm - and no, I did not have to look that up!  I know some stuff!

    This is a picture of a picture.  I scanned it here at work but it was super blurry.

The glowy spot just to the right is her other arm - she's got that hand in front of her face.

I don't know how other people get their ultrasound pictures

uploaded so clearly, but you get the idea.

Dr. Weiss said everything looked great, she's measuring right on track at 6 ounces and it'll probably be another month before I feel anything.  That's what most surreal to me - she was kicking and moving on the screen but of course I can't feel a thing.  He drew my blood this time since I told him that his nurse was a cow whore punk-ass bitch less than professional last time.  I still hyperventilated and got all woozy but between him and Drew, it went as well as it could have.  What I liked best about both of them is that neither of them were cheerleaders about it.  A couple of times before I've had nurses that were all come on you need to breathe stay with me sweetie come on just breathe you can do this almost done almost done almost done.  

That does not help.

You know what helps?  Going fast, staying quiet and doing it right the first time.  I know I need to breathe, I'm trying my hardest to breathe and guess what?  Even if I stop breathing, the worst that's going to happen is I'll pass out and start breathing.  And that's never happened so let's just agree that the cheerleading is more for you than me - so can we just not do it?  Kthx.  

Drew did awesome - he let me squeeze his hand, he stayed calm and while having my blood drawn sucked as bad as it always does, I made it!  

We left the office and our mood was so different from our last visit.  Last time, Drew and I were so tense and we were at each other's throats.  We fought from the second we left the office until he dropped me off at work.  This time, we held hands, happily called our parents with the news and kissed before I got out of the car.  If I knew what was different, I would bottle it and take a shot every single day.  When we're not fighting, he's the man of my dreams - God, that was sappy.  But you know what, whatever.  I just found out we're having a daughter, I get to be sappy today!

Oh hey - check this out!  So you remember my food baby right?

Saturday October 30th - I'd been eating like a pig for four days straight.

Today on my lunch break.

I have GOT to do something about these blurry pictures!

They suck!

Tying the belt up high make my boobs look GINORMOUS!

You got D's mahf*cka D's!  Rosie Perez!

Sorry - a little Kanye for ya there.  That's what popped in my head when I saw this.

I told you it was a food baby!

We're having a little girl!  EEEEEEE!!

Wedding porn!

Guess what y'all!  I'm a dot com now!  Check it out and update your URLs!  It was so easy and cheap - I bought my domain name for $10 and I feel so official!  I may spring for a full blog redesign but for now I'm playing around with what Blogger offers for free-ninety-nine.


But, back to the wedding.  You guys!  This wedding should have been on TV!  It was so amazing and beautiful but what I liked best is that it wasn't an ostentatious show of money.  Don't get me wrong, the oysters and open bar couldn't have been cheap but this was a real-live expression of love and you could feel it.  I'll tell anyone who'll listen that Nate and Julie have that thing, the IT, the thing that makes you look at them and you just know that they're going to be together forever.  That's what made their wedding spectacular.  Of course, the decorations didn't hurt!

The gift bags did have me scratching my head, I will admit.

Along with the standard bottle of water and pretzels, there

was Pepto-Bismol and Tylenol!  That was definitely a first!

From start to finish, the wedding was pure class.  Her parents were so gracious and I was immediately comfortable around them.  The only thing I wished was that I could have taken pictures of the inside of their house - it was a DIY dream!  Take my word for it, I was squealing over everything - on the inside of course.  These people didn't know me and I wanted to make a good impression. 

Her parents live in this beautiful Victorian that was totally redone on the inside!

I didn't want to be rude but I was drooling over everything!

They decorate for every Halloween and in honor of the wedding they

did a bride and groom!  It was amazing!

Okay, but back to the wedding!  I had the best role - get there early, but sit around and take pictures.  No one needed me to be anywhere, I didn't have to do anything but I got the behind-the-scenes access.

I even got to wear a wrist corsage!  It was a gardenia and it smelled sooooo good!

I wasn't expecting anything and I felt so special - class y'all, total class.

Again, a blurry picture with my suck-ass camera.

You get the idea.

Look at this venue - we got to sit in the first row! 

I've never done that before!

Gorgeous from the front - her bouquet was gardenias and they 

smelled so beautiful!  I had my nose in my corsage all night so I can

only imagine how her bouquet must have been!

Flawless from the back - I love how her hair is so nice and sleek.

Messy updos are a pet peeve of mine.

The ceremony spot

Flower detail

The cake

Drew did a reading and I was so proud of him!

This was the first time I'd ever heard him speak and he's really quite good!

I was brushing my shoulders off a little bit - that's MY man!

I love this picture so much!  They were talking about holding each other's

hands through good times and bad, when they're wrinkled and old.

It was really touching and I'm doing a terrible job of conveying the mood.

Just look at the pictures, that would be better.

Trying not to cry, and still looking fabulous.

That's what true love looks like y'all!

The ceremony was quick and soon it was time to party!  We all went to the second floor of the ballroom for cocktail hour while they changed out the main floor.  I have never seen so much food in my life and I made sure to try everything that caught my eye!

The first table as we came to the top of the stairs

Just to the left of that

To the left of that - that was just the FIRST station!

Further down was more meat and cheese and a pasta station!

And there were servers passing hors d'oeuvres besides!

I totally gorged myself and felt good about it.

The oysters I couldn't eat.  Drew told me they didn't

taste good anyway.  That was the nicest thing he could have said!

 Flawless hair

My sister-in-law and me!

We were smiling for the other photographer - the real one.

The view from the top - they had all the tables set up behind the white curtain 

that was the backdrop for the ceremony.

The catering staff moved quick!  

This was not their first rodeo!

Beautiful, GIANT flower arrangements

It was still interesting and beautiful at eye level.

You see that?  We got to be at Table 1!

Nate and Julie's first dance

I love this picture so much!

It was a total accident but doesn't she look so gorgeous!

It's so moody and sweet at the same time.

After cocktail hour, I was stuffed but I found room for my

steak and sea bass.  Those green beans were to die for!

And then there was the dessert ROOM!  This was just one station!

The guy on the right is Mac, Julie's 10-year-old brother - I love

the chocolate on his chin!

I wish I liked chocolate cake.

There were about four of these guys, all with different desserts on them

And this was BESIDES the wedding cake!

More 'look but don't touch.'  These were chocolate cups for liqueur shots.

Drew had *ahem* several of these little guys.

They had Sambuca, Kahlua, Frangelico, Bailey's, and a couple others I can't remember.

I was sad.

The Pieprzyk men - all married off now!

They had a live band that played the entire night - for me, that's the best part of a wedding.  I love to see everyone dressed up and gettin down on the dance floor!  Drew's dad has some moves and I was very pleasantly surprised!  Even Drew got out there and danced with me!  It was so sweet and I had such a great time.  Nate and Drew both went to Syracuse so Drew got to catch up with several guys from college and I know he really enjoyed that.  It was a great party but I can't stress enough that it was because of Nate and Julie.  They are beautiful wonderful people who are going to have a fabulous life together and I'm wildly happy for them.  They are presently laying on a beach soaking up married life and that's just the way it should be.

 Wonder Twins power!

Form of - married people!

Shape of - hands!

Renting my own runway and my food baby

Friday October 29th I was 16 weeks pregnant.  Even though we'd purchased the plane tickets several weeks in advance I didn't buy a dress because I didn't know how I would look by then.  At my last doctor's appointment I'd only gained three pounds but it seems like so much more to me!  Another fun side effect I'm experiencing is itchy boobs!  I've already gone up a cup size and the expanding skin is making my boobs itch like crazy!  I try to steal a scratch in whenever I can.


Anyway, I've been reading MODG.  She's pregnant and due in December and I really like her writing - she's irreverent and funny and I thought I kept it real!  This chick posted in depth about her hemorrhoids!  Well, not too long ago she went to a wedding and when she wrote about the dress she rented, the lightbulb went off!  I use the internet for everything else, I will use it for this too!  It worked for MODG, it will work for me too!


RENT THE RUNWAY FAIL.


I was so excited - it seemed foolproof!  They have a bump-friendly section and everything!  I even rented the same one she did, intending to wear it to the rehearsal dinner and I rented a long one for the wedding.  I read all the reviews on the dresses, studied the sizes of the dresses and sent the links to Kesha for approval.  With confidence, I entered my credit card number and anxiously awaited delivery to the hotel.

For the rehearsal dinner

For the wedding

Images courtesy Rent the Runway

MODG wore the blue dress to the wedding she was invited to and she was like seven months pregnant so I was sure my little four-month belly wouldn't be an issue.  All the reviews said that the dress ran large so I got a smaller size than what I was used to.  The concept is great:  you receive two sizes of the dress of your choice and for a smaller additional fee, you can get two sizes of another dress.  I thought it was a great deal for a couple of fancy dresses that I was sure I would never wear again.

When they arrived at the hotel right on time Thursday afternoon I squealed with excitement.  I ran to the room, eager to play dress up.  I pulled the blue dress out first, size small.  I was unsure about getting an XS and a S but the reviews said it ran big so I trusted the women who had gone before me.

Not only did the small barely cover my butt, the armholes were so tiny they were digging into my armpits!  I triple checked to make sure I had the Small on and didn't even bother with the XS - it would probably look like a shirt!  I mean, look at the picture - the dress is definitely a mini but it still looks respectable!  Pictures lie y'all!  I was so panicked I didn't even get pictures of me in the dress.  I tried not to freak out, remembering that Julie's mom said the rehearsal dinner place was a casual spot and I could get away with jeans.  I didn't want to wear jeans but at this point I had no choice.  At least I still had the dress to wear to the wedding.  HA!

Again, the reviews on this dress said it ran true to size and the reviewers helpfully provided their height and body shape when writing about the dress.  Again, I've only gained three pounds and specifically chose this dress because it said it looked better on girls with a fuller bust - big boobies, check!

I'd ordered the 2 and the 4, but went straight for the 4 thinking I'd feel better if it turned out to be big.  HA!  HA!

Drew couldn't even get it halfway zipped.  He was like "Babe, it's not zipping up."  I was like "Try harder!  You have to get it zipped!  I don't want to go to this wedding naked!!"  And of course you can't suck it in when you're pregnant, no matter how hard you try.  And there was this weird bra-thing on the inside of the dress that none of the reviewers mentioned that was most definitely NOT bump-friendly.  It was like a bra-corset thing that was NOT going around my mid-section AT-ALL.  Even with it undone, there was no zipping up that dress.

I was devastated.  I got on the phone with RTR customer service that second and I have to admit, I was the distraught crazy person because I was freaking out.  Yes, were were in Philly and not the sticks - it's not like I wouldn't be able to find a dress on short notice somewhere in the city.  But I had no idea where to look, I had half a day to do it and I was so proud of myself for having done my research!  I HATE doing stuff like this last minute!  And of course, they didn't have the long one available to overnight to me so I was just out of luck.  Thankfully, they refunded my money minus the shipping costs within about twenty minutes of my phone call.  I was impressed with that, but that didn't fix the fact that I didn't have a dress!  I promptly put the dresses in the postage-paid envelopes they provided and put them straight back in the mail early Friday morning, just before I caught a cab to Macy's.  If I didn't find a dress there, I really didn't know what I was going to do.

Thankfully, I found one that was nice and stretchy and with my new strapless bra that had cups almost as big as my head, I was ready for the wedding!

Can you believe this is the only good picture Drew and I have together?

Check out that freakin gorgeous flower arrangement!

When Drew saw this one, he asked why I was taking pictures 

of myself in the bathroom.

"It's for my blog, get off me."

What do you think of my food baby?

This one isn't the greatest but that's because my camera sucks.

I'm very grateful to Macy's for letting me *ahem* 'rent' my dress because it worked out perfectly!  It was so comfortable and if I had had another occasion that would have required me wearing such a fancy dress at four months pregnant, I might have kept it.  But I'm shameless like that.  I can't stomach spending any amount of money on something that I'm going to wear once at best. I can only spend money on things I'm going to get good use from - like my shoes!  Those were my wedding shoes that I've worn more than five times now and in my book that's a good purchase!  They were worth every penny and they went perfectly with my dress.  I bought a great bracelet in Philly and some earrings I got at a little shop in Dallas and I felt great!  I love dressing up and who knows when I'll get that chance again.

Of course, I looked like nothing compared to the bride!  Here's a sneak peek!

Wait till you see the rest!