8 months preggo, hair is lush and full
6 months post-partum and nearly bald at the temples
Full disclosure: I'd gotten a blow-out for the bottom picture and I really don't have enough hair for blow-outs to look good on me. I do much better when I do my own hair, like I did in the top picture. It's just that I have to blowdry it first and then go back over every section with a big-barreled curling iron to smooth it out and that takes forever. Plus, I wanted the pampering that they give you at the salon, but I really should have known better.
Even more full disclosure, because it's just so horrifying:
I nearly cried when I saw this picture because I looked so bald.
I'm never getting a blowout again.
It's pretty safe to say I haven't the slightest clue what to do with my hair since I've had a child. The method I just described takes at least an hour and a half to do and it must be done all at once because it'll look fuzzy and I won't be able to fix it. These days I only have that kind of time after midnight and I'm so spent by then, the last thing I'm thinking about is my hair, so most days it looks like this:
This is a one day old twist-out. One day.
It looked like this the day before. Decent right?
Too bad I can only get it to look like this for one day.
The only upside to having rat's nest hair is that it's just ratty enough to give you good height when putting it in a bun. Buns are my life now.
Gather into a ponytail, wrap it around and pin.
It comes pre-ratted!
I don't even have to try and make it this big,
which is cool and kinda gross at the same time.
I rarely straighten it these days so my routine is mostly this:
Day 1: Wash and detangle and put it in four two-strand twists without separating the strands because I don't have time for that.
Day 2: Good hair day. I take out the twists and go somewhere so I can be seen with my cute hair.
Day 3: Ratty ponytail because it's still sort of okay to be out.
Day 4: French braid if I can get my hands in my hair. If not, it's a bun.
Day 5: Bun.
Day 6: Bun.
Day 7: Bun.
Day 8: Bun.
Day 9: Realize I haven't washed my hair in nine days, get grossed out and wash it.
I do it to myself, because I don't do anything to it at night. If I could find a no-fuss nighttime routine, I would be so happy because I don't do satin pillowcases, bonnets, and I certainly don't retwist it. I usually put it in one braid just to keep it out of my face, knowing my hair doesn't like braids.
And don't get me started on detangling! I was all excited because I thought I found my Holy Grail product that would get my hair detangled without losing mounds of hair. If I didn't know that pregnancy hair falls out when you're no longer pregnant, I'd be crying every day. I was losing handfuls of hair y'all. It was scary and no amount of vitamins could stop it. Thankfully, it seems to have slowed down but I sure do hate seeing more hair in my brush than on my head.
Anyway, coconut oil! I thought coconut oil was my Holy Grail, my key to slip and shine and smooth, tangle free tresses.
HA. It's more like the key to stringy, greasy nonsense.
It took me two hours to get this head full of grease.
It's okay to be jealous.
At least I have a little more hair at the temples now.
I wanted straight hair for Drew's Christmas party this past weekend and took my precious sleep time Thursday night to do my hair. I'd used coconut oil for the twist out when we went to see Santa so I thought it would work with straight hair too. No and no. Detangling was so hard, I thought I was going to pull the rest of my hair out. Blowdrying it melted the oils more so I was just a mess o' grease. Curling it made it even worse so I had to do it all over again when we arrived in Reading Friday night. I was so pissed!
Ironically, the detangler I bought for my curls works best when I use it to straighten my hair. Go figure.
It works great to detangle but it made my hair so sticky when I'd twist it and leave it to air dry. I was about to give it away when I used it Friday night and then blowdried my hair. Magic! So weird.
I'm super glad I don't have to throw it out but I still don't have a good detangler when I wear it curly, which is most of the time.
So this is where y'all chime in. What's your nighttime routine? What's your curly detangler? What do you do with your hair now that you've had a kid? Did your hair fall out too? Isn't that the most depressing shit ever?
I loved Carol's Daughter products when I used them, and I also swear by argon oil. Both keep my hair looking good, but NOT greasy.
ReplyDeleteI'd love to know your curling iron technique even though I'm not sure I would spend an hour an a half doing it ... maybe I would! Anyway, your hair looks fabulous in the bun so it's allll good, honey!
ReplyDeleteDesiree- first of all, you are gorgeous girl.. seriously! You're hair is fly and I love it and my hair has fallen out so much it really sucks. Only thing I have done since having the baby is CUT it. It is a lot shorter now so it looks fuller and I got some layers and BANGS.. i got bangs.. it still feels so weird cause I haven't had them since I was a kid but it looks pretty good. But again, I LOVE your hair and I LOVE the bun.
ReplyDeleteYeah my hair started coming out but don't worry it's just your body was delayed on naturally shedding when prego that is why prego women's hair grows and gets thick....it will eventually go back to normal, I hear about 6-12 months post pregnancy. But I understand what your going through, I was really freaking out especially when other people started noticing!
ReplyDeleteI use Mixed Chicks, it's simple, shampoo, detangling deep conditioner, and leave in conditioner...it works great when I finger curl my hair. My night routine is put it up in a really high somewhat loose ponytail, also known as the "pineapple," and through out the night I make sure I'm not laying on it because my hair is so long. I'm too lazy to wear scarfs and all that stuff...I'd consider getting a silk pillow case but I haven't found any.
Now that I have a baby, I probably wash my hair from every 4-5 days...before I would wash every 3 days. And my hair is always in a ponytail. I want to do something different so maybe I will start putting it in a bun. I mostly put it up because my son likes to grab my hair or grool or spit up in it lol. I rarely straighten it now, which is probably a good thing but I'm so lazy and tired I can't sit there for 40mins to 1 hour blow drying and straightening, yeah I'm that fast (I'm a hairstylist).
I do think fulling the hair back all the time isn't good because it can pull your hair line...it's hard not to pull it back though so i'm just going with the flow during this time lol.
-Jlauren
You're so right, I worry about pulling it back every day. If I'm at home with nowhere to go, I leave it out as much as possible. But the baby likes to pull it too so it's a catch 22.
ReplyDeleteI'll have to check out Mixed Chicks, thanks for the tip!
some people don't like the pineapple thing but if my hair is a little frizzy the next day, In just spray the frizz with water and apply the mixed chicks to it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKwgPqyakuw
ReplyDeleteSo... I now wash my hair every two weeks. How is THAT for lazy?! I'm sorry my hair takes entirely too long detangle. Another problem is that I just let it tangle and matte. It's bad. I've finally decided to stop the madness. All the shed hairs just give me a detangling nightmare so I've decided to stop the madness. At night, I always use bonnet. Otherwise, my hair would dry out. At night, I either pineapple with a scrunchie. (You should try since it is an easy way to maintaing a twist-out) or retwist.
ReplyDeleteif it's hard to detangle your hard, try paul mitchell The Detangler--it's really, really good. used to use it religiously until i found out that i could do much of the same with pantene conditioner and a wide tooth comb in the shower. don't know if you detangle in or out of the shower, but it's 1,000,0000 times easier in the shower with loads of conditioner in your hair (i find). we have a different hair texture, but i use miss jessie's curly meringue. i also LOVE Aveda Elixir, which is also a leave in conditioner with great slip. good luck!
ReplyDeleteI suppose I shouldn't complain when my hair takes 5 minutes to fix...but honestly to me that's 5 minutes too many. That's a big reason why I grew it out and wore a ponytail or bun for years and years. But that got so boring. I'm back to my chin-length haircut and have to wash/fix it every 3 days or so. I still think seriously about growing it out again, but I KNOW all I will do is put it up in a ponytail.
ReplyDeleteMy hair had always been straight until I got pregnant. Then the back part of it got this weird kink/wave. Not enough to look nice at all--it just made it look coarse and unruly.
Having a baby doesn't actually make your hair fall out per se--it's just that pregnancy slows down the normal regrowth cycles so it all happens after the baby's born, instead of gradually over the course of your pregnancy.
I promise you are harder on yourself than anyone can be. Even in those pictures, I think you look fabulous. Your buns are amazing.
ReplyDeleteDo you guys have a salon that specializes in natural hair? (Ex. http://www.themahoganysalon.com/) Perhaps they can give you some pointers.
you know I have a short hair cut so the only issue I have it keeping it cut and relaxed when it's supposed to... although now, (Zo is 4 months), it's started shedding like crazy.
Our hair is the same length but mine is a lot kinkier than yours. 4b? After a twist out day, I do a pineapple on top as Jessica said, and I put a silk scarf around my head like Tupac, to keep curl best. ( = It ends up looking good down for another day or two and then I do pony or a bun. On those nights my scarf looks more like a pirate with a pineapple towards the back. If ever I don’t wear a scarf, my hair looks bad the next day. I wash my hair weekly when it’s curly. When you did a twist out, it looked like a lot of twists. Have you tried 5 on each side of your head as a fast overnight set? Or even a dry hair set when u spritz hair with water and a conditioner with great slip (mixed)? When it’s straight I go 2 weeks…I have to make it worth all that work!
ReplyDeleteI was not natural when my 1st was born, so I don’t have any tips. I will guarantee that your hair will go back to normal within a year. Don’t fret! Speaking of that…I probably should wear my hair down more in this last month of pregnancy…
No kid here, but I've found that my hair loves Suave Almond and Shea Butter condtioner to co-wash and detangle while holding my hair under running water.
ReplyDeleteMy hair fell out too. It's normal and natural and WILL freak you thee EFF out if you don't know it's going to happen but I was prepared. My night time routine now is to bantu knot. I do 4 knots and wrap my hair in a scarf and call it a night. I do it every evening and I love the results. I put "fine" pink oil on my hair before I knot it every evening as well.
ReplyDeleteJas has a detangler that seems to work wonders. If you don't mind trying products that for kids I would suggest this. It doesn't leave her hair oily at all and the tangles seem like they fall right out. Its called Kids organics by Africa's best.
Here's the link:
http://www.google.com/products/catalog?q=kids+organics+by+africa%27s+best&hl=en&client=firefox-a&hs=rxU&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&prmd=imvns&resnum=1&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_cp.,cf.osb&biw=1024&bih=606&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=shop&cid=5656344862291085577&sa=X&ei=ChzxTv-IEKariALY2fDLDg&ved=0CGYQ8gIwAA
I have been meaning to tell you... I got your card and your family is so dang cute! Even you with your bald head. haha JK. True story - my sister walked in and was looking at all of our Christmas cards, and pointed at yours and said "Oh man. She's so pretty. And that baby! So cute! Oh and the guy is hot too!" Not even kidding. Or exaggerating. My sister doesn't lie. :)
ReplyDeleteAww tell your sister I said thank you! And yay I get to be on the card ribbon!:-)
ReplyDeleteYou sure are! Front and center! :)
ReplyDeletei live in a bun most of the time too but there is hope! my hair majorly fell out but it's growing back slowly but surely. i like to use Joico K-pak deep conditioner every few days to keep my hair soft and tangle free. i then use Infusium (super inexpensive) leave in conditioner daily but i dilute it with water and keep it in a spray bottle. 2 parts Infusium 1part water, i use it to rewet and detangle my curls and reform them so i don't need to wash it daily but still have nice curls. Hope this helps!
ReplyDeletehey check out terri La flesh' website, I think its called tightly curly. She gives tips on curly hair and recommends lots of detanglers too.
ReplyDeleteQuick question and please do not take it the wrong way ok, if you do I am really sorry but I hope I can be frank.
You seemingly have a lot going for you (and yes, I know we cannot know all about your life from your blog)- but - you are gorgeous, healthy, you have an adorable healthy child, a handsome husband who clearly loves you both. A great family (with some dysfunction - form reading your old posts- but which family doesn't right? You should see mine), a comfortable lifestyle, etc etc
now I know nobodys life is perfect but you seem to be unhappy about quite a few things, I suspect its partly snark, done for comic relief or because its a blog but seriously girl you seem to have a life many would not mind swapping places with.
I know you struggled to conceive thats hard, i cannot imagine so I will not go there but so have many women. Not to downplay your struglle but i guess what I am clumsily trying to say or understand is what can she have to complain about?
am I mean, horrible?
please know I do not mean it. feel free to delete if so, if i am offensive again I am sorry..just really trying to understand how a healthy, beautiful woman, wife, mom with all your blessings can complain about anything.
or maybe thats the point? that in spite of what we see life is not easy for anyone?
anyway I do love your blog, your openess and humor.
First, thank you for reading my blog. I'm humbled and thankful that you stop by to read my goings-on!
ReplyDeleteSecond, thanks for the tip. Teri's website taught me how to take care of my hair for the first time in 32 years! Now I just have to tweak the method to fit my new life as a mom.
Third, speak your mind girl! I absolutely do not mind free speech over here! My only rule is don't be ugly about it, which you weren't, so it's all good!
What's ironic is that Drew and I had this exact conversation last night driving up to the in-laws for Christmas, how the one thing you don't have tends to overshadow the eight things you do have and how can we stop doing that so we can set a positive example for our daughter.
Because you're right, I have lots and lots of things going for me. I am beyond blessed and every single day I smother my baby with kisses and tell her I love her, and as I sit in my beautiful house that my amazing husband provides for us, I thank the baby Jesus for all my blessings.
That doesn't mean I don't get upset about my hair falling out - I'm a girl and I like my hair. That also doesn't mean my upset-ness is on par with world hunger. I have a great life and what/how I write is just a snapshot
of a much bigger picture, one that I couldn't begin to capture.
I know my problems are 'problems' in the grand scheme of things and plenty
of people would kill to have my 'problems.' And when I 'complain', please
know that I'm well aware of how good I have it and that I'm not *really*
upset that my dog follows me into the bathroom. I just get upset when she
tries to stick her nose into my lady business as I'm sitting on the toilet
- that does get on my nerves.
At any rate, thank you for your thoughts, thank you for coming to visit me
and thanks for getting my brain working. It's nice to have a conversation
with an adult every once in a while!
I use the Giovanni conditioner. So creamy, my hair loves it, and it's usually at a good price for a 3-pack on Amazon. I just ordered Shea Moisture conditioner and plan to alternate the 2 every week. The body wash is LUXURIOUS and I've heard wonderful things about the conditioner, so yeah. I've also read Aubrey Organics white camellis is recommended.
ReplyDeleteNighttime: I tried the pineapple but it gave my hair a funny shape in the morning. I'm probs not doing it right but that method may work for you. I don't have a satin pillowcase/bonnet or anything but I rigged a satin nightie over my pillowcase and voila. I take it off the pillowcase when I'm not asleep. Satin scarves would also work draped over the pillowcase. That way you don't have to put anything ON your hair or have an actual pillowcase.
Two things:
ReplyDelete1. This is why I'm glad I'm a guy - I could never keep up with lady hair. It's so difficult and I don't envy you at all.
2. You look GORGEOUS. I love the family pics. :)
My hair is shorter than yours and it's type 4b that tangles very easily. But I can tell you that I use one of Qhemet Biologics detangler from Qhemet Biologics Inc. and it works wonders on my hair. I use the Cocoa Detangling Ghee. The awesome thing about their website it that they have a recommendation chart so that you can pick the right products for your hair type.
ReplyDeleteIf you are concerned about your temples, you might want to try jamaican black castor oil, I have the same issue with my temples and I have heard that jamaican black castor oil will thicken hair and stimulate growth.