The shed-yule

L'horaire.  El horario.  Sked-chull.  Sketch-ull.  The Almighty Schedule.


It was the magic key that has my baby sleeping through the night.  And not five hours, which is commonly accepted as 'through the night.'  I'm talking going to bed at 8 and not getting up until seven the next morning.  I wouldn't believe it if I wasn't living it.  But let me back up.


It was Saturday night and I was sitting in our bedroom, bawling my eyes out.  Head in hands, shoulders shaking, bawling.  Sofia was in her crib, bawling *her* eyes out.  Throat rattling, snot pouring, bawling.  It was miserable and something had to give because my baby was tired.

We were at the baby gym and the bubbles were just sitting on her hair.

She looked so cute but she was barely able to keep her eyes open.

They say you shouldn't even think about getting a baby on a schedule until they're at least four to five months.  We kinda sorta had a schedule but nighttime was always a battle and she always ended up in bed with us.  Naps were sporadic and bedtime was anywhere from 7:30 to 10:30, not by my choice.  I could always count on an 11 or midnight waking, followed by a 3-4am waking, followed by bringing her in bed with us because I was so effing tired.


I tried to follow the Ferber method for one night - remember how that turned out?  I had a violent physical reaction to her crying and that was it for me.  I may be weak, soft, and screwing up my daughter for life, but I cannot deal with her crying.  I am physically unable to handle it and since I'm alone more often than not, I won't be trying anytime soon.  I don't have anyone to reassure me and hold me while my daughter is screaming and crying her face off, so I had to find a different way.


Unfortunately, the holidays killed any sort of attempt at routine or schedule.  We traveled from October until the new year and between hotel rooms, my parent's house and Drew's parent's house, Sofia rarely had a normal bedtime - we just did the best we could.  I feel guilty beyond guilty typing that out, but I have seen the error of my ways and trust - it's not going to be like that ever again.


Sunday morning, Drew left for Reading.  It was a new day, a new start and it was high time for The Schedule.

Don't. Mess. With The Schedule.

We have lots of playing built into The Schedule because it's time for us to learn things.  I found this awesome blog, Play at Home Mom and those tricks are serious!  I don't have Environments or Invitations for Sofia, but we sure do stack the hell out of some blocks and I try my hardest to teach her colors.  It's only been three days, but I'm pretty sure we're ready to move on to long division.

But seriously, if I wasn't living it I wouldn't believe it but y'all.  This shit works.  Oh, and the marks above The Schedule?  That's our swear chart - no, seriously.  I refuse to have the kid that swears and thinks it's funny because they picked it up from Mom and Dad.  Presently, I'm winning and we're doing lots better since we started keeping track, but obviously it doesn't apply to the blog.  I have to be able to swear somewhere, even though I'm actually trying to lighten that up as well.  I'm *totally* going to stop before she can read.  PROMISE.

But back to The Schedule.  Sunday we followed it to the letter and I got an hour long morning nap and a two hour afternoon nap and I have never gotten a two hour afternoon nap.  Granted, I laid down with her but I'm counting it!  Bedtime was a little rough because she woke up around 11 and it took me an hour to get her back down, BUT she stayed in her crib the rest of the night!!  She didn't wake up until 7:30 the next morning!!  That is so major.

Monday, again we followed The Schedule to the letter.  This time morning and afternoon naps were shorter, but they happened!  At the right time!  Bedtime came at 7:45 and when she woke up around 11 again, it took less than an hour to get her back down!  When she woke around 3ish, she half-cried for a little while, and put herself back to sleep.  That has never ever ever ever ever EVER happened.  

Tonight, she was practically begging to go to sleep at 7:45 on the dot and was out cold by 8.  A Got Damb Murther Furkin door to door person came at 8 murther furkin o'clock, thereby causing my dog to lose her mind barking and I about lost my shit because of course the baby woke up.  After telling the door to door person that I didn't want a Got Damb thing they were selling and very pointedly telling her that She Woke Up My Baby, I went in to soothe her, positive that it would take all night to get her back down.

Five minutes.  If that.  She was back to sleep and has been asleep ever since.  I made myself dinner, I painted my fingers and toes, I watched tv and thanked the baby Jesus for my good fortune.   

I know the Varsity Moms are probably rolling their eyes, going duh!  Babies need schedules and routines!  To which I can only reply, Dooood.  My bad!  I clearly didn't understand how serious it was to have A Schedule.

Her demeanor and mood is ridiculously improved.  She's always been a happy and easy-going kid but now she's rested and she's even happier, and rather than beat myself up that it took me this long to get it together, I'm going to be thankful that it didn't take me longer.

Therefore, this little post is getting filed under 'accomplishments.'  One day I do hope to get naps that are longer than an hour in the daytime, but for now I'm going to bask in the fact that my baby is officially sleeping through the night because I thought we'd be doomed to have her in our bed forever.  I love my daughter but she actually punched me in the throat Saturday morning.  Yeah, it was because she rolled over and flung her arm out, but it woke me out of a dead sleep and that shit hurt!  Seriously, we all needed our own space.

The Schedule is not ultra-rigid, it allows for wiggle room and slowly but surely we're working our way up to being able to leave the house for longer periods of time without her falling asleep in the carseat.  One thing at a time.

I still don't know what to do with myself and I'm sure that this is a sign of her growing up.  She actually cut her first tooth today. *sniff*  My baby's growing up.

Okay, so please allow me this moment of being happy and proud and feeling like a good mother.  Please don't tell me about how this is all going out the window with the next milestone or some other mean thing like "enjoy it while you can, because wait till they (do whatever thing that will cause them to stop sleeping)."  

I need this victory.  I need the illusion, if only for a little while.

I need to sleep enough to get the circles under my eyes to fade just a little bit.  So.......

My baby's sleeping through the night!  Halle-LU-Jah!