Christmas Eve was wonderful. My mother and I have a tradition of going to see The Nutcracker at Christmastime whenever I'm in town and I was so happy to get to do that with her again this year. It was so heartwarming to get to share that time with just her. We both felt my belly as the baby kicked and I completely teared up at the thought that maybe my daughter might grow up to be a ballerina and her grandma and grandpa might come to see her. I had visions of my dad waiting backstage for her with roses and getting to witness them together. There I go, tearing up again!
Maybe she'll get to be the queen, dancing right in front!
After the ballet, we went to my cousin's house for dinner and I got to see old movies of my grandma and grandpa and it was so cool! My memories of my grandparents are very dim and I found myself wanting to reach out and touch the screen. I'd never seen either of them so vibrant and young-looking and it was definitely the highlight of the evening. Then we went to Mass and Drew did not burst into flames upon entering the church as he feared and I whispered stories to him about being a little girl in that church and not being tall enough to see over the pews. I remember when I was younger (like 23-24), going to Mass at Christmas was an event because I'd get to see my old classmates who lived out of town and we'd always hang out after church to catch up. This year, I didn't see anyone I recognized but it was nice to be there and I still know all the words - trying to be ex-Catholic is like trying to be ex-Asian. It's in you, whether you acknowledge it or not.
Now......Christmas day??? Christmas DAY??? Ooooh Jesus.
Well, it was actually Christmas night because Christmas morning with the family was so great. We took pictures, exclaimed over gifts and hung out in our pjs until well after noon - just as it should be.
My dad played a joke on us and served us chicken feet for breakfast.
This was after I was done being grossed out.
My brother's reaction was priceless!
But then we had our real breakfast - this was one of
my dad's better jokes. Usually we can see him coming, but he got us this time!
My little mommy did such a great job decorating the tree!
Ok, but THEN! The rest of the family came over for Christmas dinner. My cousin's best friend is an honorary member of the family and she joined us with her three kids that night. She is the sweetest, kindest person ever and she's super polite and nice and I really like her. So I have no idea how this sweet kind nice girl gave birth to a demon baby.
I say the following with all the sympathy and respect but be warned, I will reference the demon baby again.
There were ten adults and five kids in the house and it was cozy to say the least. My parent's house is not small but there are lots of small-ish rooms so with conversation and kids and food and music and tv and toys happening all at once, it was festive.
I knew trouble was afoot when her youngest walked in the door crying. She said he'd been asleep and was upset at being woken up. We all clucked with sympathy and offered him toys and a sippy cup with juice to soothe him. For the first few minutes, it was fine. He was fussy and in his terrible twos - he gets a pass.
He was definitely a Stage-5 clinger and he just kept on crying. If his mother wasn't holding him, he was crying. And it wasn't the cry where you're mad at being woken up, nor was it the 'I'm hungry' or 'I'm hurt' or even 'I'm tired.' It was the worst cry. It was the 'There is nothing anyone will be able to do for me because I'm just cranky and I will not be soothed and I'm going to do the whiny, gets on your last mother-effin nerve cry because I can.'
The kid cried. And cried. And cried. And cried. And cried. And cried. And ohmyfuckinggodshutthatdemonbabyUP. We all tried. My cousin tried to soothe him - IIIIIII wwwwwaaaant my maaaaaaahhhhhmmmmmeeeeee.' I tried - I picked him up and took him to the mirror, which usually works for me. Who is that baby? What's his name? Why is he crying? Do you know why he's crying? Oh that poor baby is crying so much. How can we help him? Instead of looking at the mirror he buried his face in my shoulder - IIIII w-w-w-w-aaaa-aaaa-nnnntt my maaaa-aaaa-aaaahmmmeeeeee. My mom tried and she's usually stellar with kids and has toys galore at her house. He took a toy but never stopped crying, crying so hard he was making himself cough and get all red in the face and all stuttery.
We brought him back to his mom and she tried to take him to another room and just sit with him on the sofa but no dice. It's like he was glad to be with her but still so sad about the time that he wasn't with her before so he had to cry about that. So he cried. And cried. And cried.
We turned on Caillou for him and for a heavenly blessed second, he stopped crying. But baby Jesus in his manger, the second the show ended he started up again! (Starting the show again did nothing. Putting on a new episode did nothing. Caillou was a temporary fix.) He was louder than before! Y'all, we'd already passed the hour mark and were working on hour number two! And it was just the whiny cry, the grating, you-know-nothing's-wrong cry and we were all nearing the breaking point. We couldn't say anything because really, what is there to say? Plus, she's so nice and sweet and she was getting embarrassed that she couldn't do or give him something to soothe him and we didn't want to make her feel worse. But holy effing hell, he started doing the demon cry, the one where your vocal cords rattle! At the top of his lungs! And there was nowhere to hide! He had progressed to throwing tantrums, collapsing on the floor and screaming bloody murder if his mother dared put him down so she could eat. At the two-hour mark (good God kid, take a breath or something!) she finally rounded up her two other kids and left, her own face red with embarrassment. I felt so bad for her and for her other kids who were perfectly behaved and even took their turns trying to soothe their baby brother. But that kid was having none of it - he screamed non-stop and honestly, it set the rest of us on edge.
I don't know what I would have done differently, if there even is anything you can do differently. I was annoyed, my head was pounding but most of all, I was scared. I know that my child will morph into a demon baby at the most inconvenient time and I too will have to make my hasty exit, red-faced and helpless. But my goodness!
For real y'all, can that sort of thing be dealt with? At all? I mean, you can't really ignore them even though we tried that too. But you cannot ignore demon screaming, I don't care who you are. And what do you do? Leave the house? Take the kid outside and sit with them in the car until they calm down? What if they don't? And what of your other kids?
My heart went out to her but my hands were too busy covering my ears. And I'm so scared of the day when that's going to be me.
And it WILL happen, unfortunately. Even to the best of parents. All you can do is take the kid out of the element and allow him/her to calm down without onlookers. Sometimes, kids get upset and once everyone sees them upset it's like "well, there's no where to go now so I might as well keep this up". And usually it IS the worst when they've been abruptly awakened from a brief nap. I find it is worse when they are freshly awake and then are surrounded by strangers or a lot of people. It's sensory overload.
ReplyDeleteBless your friend's heart because I have been there and just had to make the visit the briefest I could make it. :(
Feel free to stalk my blog (.http://amusingrain.blogspot.com/) for kid advice. I'm a mom to 4 and also in an interracial marriage. I'm starting a new blog this coming year in addition to the one I have which will focus more on the funny things that happen in our family. It's not launched yet, but soon.
I'm excited for you and look forward to more baby updates!
Rania
Oh man. I am not looking forward to that age for some reasons. Right now? I am serious--my baby is easy as pie as far as being happy and content. Even when she's sick. The kid is happy. [Granted, she still wakes up in the middle of the night. But, happy day baby? I'll take it.] She also will go to anyone, whenever. The clingy-ness hasnt set in yet and I know its inevitable that it will someday. But man. I hope it doesnt.
ReplyDeleteFirst - let me just say that this post actually made me laugh out loud. At my desk. At work. Thanks for that.
ReplyDeleteSecond - this is like one of my biggest fears. I am so scared I won't be able to make my baby/kid stop crying. Seriously. I was scarred while babysitting when I was like 12 and ever since, crying babies freak me the F out.
Third - I love all your mommy to be posts. They make me happy.
Well that's better than a demon baby who creeps up behind you smiling evilly and saying random things like "John says it's time" or anything of that nature.
ReplyDeleteMy instinct reading this (not a mommy yet) would be to have taken the kid outside and tell him we're not going back in until you shut up and then I'd add some threats about removal of all ponies, rainbows, trucks, whatever tickles the kid's fancy.
Gem
What a wonderful holiday!!! I LOVE the Nutcracker, what a fun tradition with your mom! I'm sure your baby girl will love going with you ladies some day! :)
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking about you this week as I have been experiencing Braxton-Hicks for the first time! Freaked me out at first but now that I know, I don't worry about it as much. Good excuse to watch a marathon of Cupcake Girls. Anyway...
ReplyDeleteI used to nanny for a family who would take me out to dinner with them from time to time. When their son (this was between his first and second birthday) would start pitching a fit at a restaurant, dad would always volunteer to take him. For months, we always wondered how he calmed him...thought he took him to the bathroom mirror, walked around the restaurant, etc. One day in December (it was freezing out), we finally asked. He said "I take him outside and sit down. I say we are not going inside until you stop crying. And if you cry again, we are coming back outside where it is cold and boring". He was never out long, just long enough to prove his point. And we all got to enjoy dinner, the other patrons got to enjoy dinner, and he soon learned that we would sit on the curb if he threw a tantrum!
I held my friend's week-old daughter today and she pooped all over me. We have that to look forward to as well:o)
I always love your posts, but this one in particular I am sending along to my sister who is trying to get pregnant...because it reminds me of how she probably fears this as well. My daughter is 3 1/2 and has hopefully given up her clingy stage, it was a pretty big one. She is also the type to make it somehow worse with more attention given to her and forced out of her mommy's arms by all of the well-intentioned helpers (family members & friends). We worked through it for the good year and a half that it took and now it is just something you look back at and look forward to all of the new things you will maybe tackle. When one challenge is out of the way, there is always another! Parenting!!
ReplyDeleteI read your blog but never comment. Yea I know, I suck lol.
ReplyDeleteI'm a 1st time mom to an baby girl who will be 14 months old tomorrow.( but I have12 nieces and nephews so I've had practice) She's a very good girl over all. She's smart and talks a lot and is very independent. But every so often she kicks up and throws fits. I don't allow fits. She knows words and I expect her to use them. I give her warnings. She knows the mama look where I don't have to say a word and typically those things work with her. But I think a childs behavior all depends on how u raise them.
Your friends kids knew what he was doing. He knew he was out of line. He wanted attention and everyone gave it to him. In that situation I would have taken him to a bedroom, explained to him how out of line he was being and then made him lay down by himself since he didn't want to act right. He would have done a few things, he would have cried himself to sleep, or he would have shit the hell up. Both options would have been fine I'm sure. I can just tell that child gets catered to and often. Its the parents fault to be real.
You don't strike me as the type to be a push over parent. I think if your daughter kicks up in public you'll know how to handle it.
O M G, I would have gone CRAAAAAZYYYY and probably left the house.
ReplyDeleteCan you hear me laughing in Texas?! But D, I wanted to scream, "NooooOOOOOooooo!" as I was reading, because you did it! You brought the curse on yourself! :) You are going to end up just like me, writing apology blogs at people who were mommies before you, 'cause you get it. I mean, I know you "get it" now, but you're going to REALLY get it. Personally, I ignore kids' bad behavior now that I have my own, and I know that it may just be a bad day. It happens to all of us.
ReplyDeleteHowever, if this is a recurring theme, I am inclined to blame the parents. All kids can have bad days, but if you have a demon baby EVERY day, you are not meeting that child's needs and you best be finding a new bag of tricks!
I predict you wiil not have a demon baby.
But thanks for the laugh. Great post! :)
I have two boys and never went through anything even remotely close to this. That could be pure luck, or it could be because I didn't allow either one of them to behave even remotely close to this. Spankings may be out of style, but administered in an attitude of loving discipline, they are an effective (and often the only effective) way to convince a toddler that behavior like this will not be tolerated.
ReplyDeleteThe idea of making a houseful of adults (and kids) suffer for TWO HOURS at the hands of one undisciplined two-year-old is completely beyond me. How parents could think that's okay is just plain bizarre.
I read your blog but never comment. Yea I know, I suck lol.
ReplyDeleteI'm a 1st time mom to an baby girl who will be 14 months old tomorrow.( but I have12 nieces and nephews so I've had practice) She's a very good girl over all. She's smart and talks a lot and is very independent. But every so often she kicks up and throws fits. I don't allow fits. She knows words and I expect her to use them. I give her warnings. She knows the mama look where I don't have to say a word and typically those things work with her. But I think a childs behavior all depends on how u raise them.
Your friends kids knew what he was doing. He knew he was out of line. He wanted attention and everyone gave it to him. In that situation I would have taken him to a bedroom, explained to him how out of line he was being and then made him lay down by himself since he didn't want to act right. He would have done a few things, he would have cried himself to sleep, or he would have shit the hell up. Both options would have been fine I'm sure. I can just tell that child gets catered to and often. Its the parents fault to be real.
You don't strike me as the type to be a push over parent. I think if your daughter kicks up in public you'll know how to handle it.
I've been thinking about you this week as I have been experiencing Braxton-Hicks for the first time! Freaked me out at first but now that I know, I don't worry about it as much. Good excuse to watch a marathon of Cupcake Girls. Anyway...
ReplyDeleteI used to nanny for a family who would take me out to dinner with them from time to time. When their son (this was between his first and second birthday) would start pitching a fit at a restaurant, dad would always volunteer to take him. For months, we always wondered how he calmed him...thought he took him to the bathroom mirror, walked around the restaurant, etc. One day in December (it was freezing out), we finally asked. He said "I take him outside and sit down. I say we are not going inside until you stop crying. And if you cry again, we are coming back outside where it is cold and boring". He was never out long, just long enough to prove his point. And we all got to enjoy dinner, the other patrons got to enjoy dinner, and he soon learned that we would sit on the curb if he threw a tantrum!
I held my friend's week-old daughter today and she pooped all over me. We have that to look forward to as well:o)