Birth Story: The Mirror

Sofia has contracted don'tputmedown disease.  The only cure is aboobinthemouth and walkingaroundnonstop so it's been a very eventful day.  Thankfully, Drew is on walkingaroundnonstop duty so I can finish my story.  


Part 1            Part 2

The following happened between 3 and 4:54pm.


That first no-water contraction felt like I'd been body-slammed by one of those giant barbells from American Gladiator.  My whole upper body slammed back on the bed, that had been moved to an upright position by this point.  Gone were the vocalizations, the happy place swaying, the changing positions - it was time to do work.  I was glued to the bed and there would be no more moving.

Angie brought out the birthing bar but I very quickly 

determined I didn't like it, preferring the handlebars 

at my sides.

What surprised me was that I nearly immediately felt the urge to push.  I'd always wondered what it felt like, if I would even feel it because I'd read that some women never felt the urge to push.

Well, I felt it and it is the Truth.

Push from Desiree on Vimeo.

There won't be as many videos this time because there were some money shots and while I don't mind keeping it real, I'm not down for that real.  Also, I was making some weird noises that made even me blush.

However, I did not curse!  Not once!  And y'all know me - I'll drop an F bomb like it's nothing.  Even I was surprised at myself when I was watching the videos!  I think that part may have impressed me the most (kidding - it was the no drugs part.)

That's not to say it didn't hurt, because oh my baby Jesus the pain.  The burning, the stretching, the PAIN.  You know how some women say they don't remember?  Boo-shit.  I remember everything and I'm not keen to do any of that again any time soon.

Pain

Pushing 

Feeble attempt at keeping the orifices open

Tiny bit of relief

And then more pain

You get the idea.

Now, even though I was in incredible pain I was still okay - wanna know why?  Because there was no cheerleading, no counting, no chin-to-chest, hold your breath, obnoxious purple pushing.  I just sat there until the urge took me over and I pushed until I didn't have the urge anymore.  Sometimes it was longer than 10 seconds, other times it was just for three or four.  It was perfect.  Oh, and pushing feels exactly like Rixa Freeze says it does.  That also surprised me - 'throwing down' describes it perfectly.  Think about your upchuck reflex in reverse and that's what the urge to push feels like.  

The only problem is that I didn't feel like I was doing anything.  I didn't feel connected to the pushing and I asked Angie a few times if I was even doing anything.  She reassured me that I was, but offered to bring out a mirror so I could see for myself.

Y'all.  The Mirror is what birthed my child.  Seeing her head, seeing myself stretch, combining that with what I felt and I think she came out in three pushes.  It was amazing.

Unfocused and unsure

First glimpse of The Mirror

More pain, but with laser focus now

Oh my god it's working, I see her head!

Oh good god, that's her gigantic enormous HEAD!!

One mighty push and the rest of her came right out

She came out all at once.  There was no pause between delivering the head and the rest of the body - she shot straight the hell out.  And it felt like a baby - not a bowling ball, not a football, not a watermelon.  I felt head, shoulders, arms and legs and it is by far the most amazing sensation in the world.  I felt it all and I'm so thankful for that.  She came out screaming at the top of her lungs, kind of like she is right now.  I need to wrap this up - her crying hurts my skin.

Sofia, about a minute old

Newborn baby head - nothing on Earth like it

We did it!

I'm a mother!

He's a father!

We're a family!

And that's how my daughter, Sofia Ines, was welcomed to this world.  There's more to the story but I have to go now - she's crying and I'm starting to cry.  I have to go to her.