Over-thinking Santa

It started when I decided not to take Sofia to see Santa this year.  Our first year was innocent enough - Sofia was eight months old, I went with a friend and it was a pretty painless experience.  This year, we were here in Reading and our pathetic mall Santa doesn't even begin to compare to the one in Dallas - you know, where shopping is a city-wide sport and you know, everything's bigger in Texas.  Even Santa.

Additionally, I procrastinated so much that I didn't end up taking Sofia until Christmas Eve, and even our tiny pathetic mall was packed to the brim with people.  However, Sofia was an absolute champ, as always.  She hung out in her stroller, happy to people-watch.

I took this shot before we left the house.

I should have quit while I was ahead.

There was a line to see Santa, because of course there was, and still Sofia was fine.  Our turn came and I placed her in Santa's lap and stood off to the side, never going where she couldn't see me.  But my child is smarter than I am; she knew enough to recognize that sitting on a strange man's lap, dressed up or not, was nothing she wanted any part of.  She promptly lost her shit, and instead of snatching her off of Santa's lap like I should have, I hurried the photographer along and had her take the picture.

I regret this with every fiber of my being.

I hate that I did this to my baby.  I don't find anything cute about Screaming Santa pictures; I think they're terrible and I'm ashamed I have one.  I feel like I let my daughter down and I swore I would never do that to her again.  So, there will be no Santa this year and there won't be one until she asks for it.  But it got me thinking about this whole Santa thing and I'm not sure where he fits into our scheme of things.  

For one thing, I don't agree with the idea of Santa shaming.  You know, You better be good or Santa won't bring you presents.  That doesn't sit well with me because that's not how I discipline Sofia in any other situation.  I don't want her to do the right thing because she's afraid she'll get caught or that if she does the right thing she'll get a reward.  I want her to do the right thing because it's the right thing to do.  In my opinion, raising a child to be afraid of getting caught is just raising a sneaky kid.  And raising a kid who expects a reward every time they do anything nice sends the wrong message too, because what motivation do they have to do the right thing if no one's looking and no one is going to give them a reward or gift for it?  I don't want Sofia to 'be good' or make good choices from either of those places and I don't like that message of Santa.  Never mind the whole 'he sees you when you're sleeping' thing.  That shit is just creepy.

In that same vein, I'm not doing the Elf on the Shelf thing either.  We got one as a gift last year and I halfheartedly participated, moving Finley from one spot to another each night and trying to get Sofia interested and excited about where he would be the next morning.  However, at 18 months old, she could have cared less and I sure as hell wasn't doing it for me.  This year, we brought him out, but Sofia doesn't understand that you can't touch him and pulled him down from his spot within a minute and was like "Finsley, you do yoga!" stretching his legs every which way and trying to take off his hat and gloves.

Plus, I am far too pregnant to be messing with nonsense like this.

These people know the elf doesn't clean up after itself, right?

Besides, this is more my speed.

source

You need to click that link and laugh your ass off at those elves.

Those elves are my people.

But let's not forget the Elf's original job:  To spy on you and report back to Santa.  Apparently, the job is so boring that the Elf has to get into trouble while you're asleep, hence the messes and inappropriate situations.  I get it, Elf.  You get bored, you get curious.  Happens to the best of us.  

I just can't get behind the whole 'spying on you and narc-ing to Santa just so you'll behave in Target' thing.  I don't roll that way as a parent, and I'll be damned if I let an elf or fat man in a red suit undermine my parenting.  *Kidding, but not really.

And let's not even talk about the whole other part of Christmas:  the Jesus part.  Me, I grew up in a super religious household.  My mom is old-school Mexican; they didn't even have a Christmas tree, they had a Nativity.  Gifts weren't exchanged until January at the Epiphany.  Christmas Eve was spent at midnight Mass and they were back in church Christmas morning.  There was no Santa or reindeer or any of that stuff.  My dad was adamantly against Christmas too, saying that gifts are fine but let's do it on another day, so as to concentrate on the real 'reason for the season.'  However, my brother and I wanted a tree and gifts on December 25, and that's what we got.  My parents begrudgingly 'did' Santa, but it was never a huge thing in our house and I went to midnight Mass on Christmas Eve until I was in my late 20s.  Honestly, *not* going feels kind of weird to me, but it also feels kind of fake.  I don't go to church any other time of the year, being that 'Christmas/Easter' churchgoer doesn't feel right either.  But that religious-ness is still in me; I don't think you can ever be 'un-Catholic.'  I remember the prayers and the songs and I probably will forever.

But as I got older, I wanted to learn more about all other religions and today, my Bible shares space on my bookshelf with The Bhagavad Gita, The Handbook of Living Religions, The Language of God, Bulfinch's Mythology, and The Uncensored Bible (hilarious read, btw.)  I'm contemplating reading Killing Jesus, but the excerpt on Amazon is kind of gross, so I'm not sure on that one.  Then you've got the whole theory about Jesus being born in the fall (or the spring,) not in December, that December 25 was a pagan festival date and the Christians piggy-backed so the pagans would accept Christianity, etc blah blah blah.  

My point is, religion in all its forms fascinates me and I'm not inclined to completely dismiss one in favor of another, which tends to be a problem in some organized religions.  There's this idea that their way is the only way, and you have to buy into that in order to be in the club.  Bottom line - as I get older, I get less and less sure about the whole religion thing.  And if I'm not sure, I don't think I'd be the best teacher for my daughter.  When the time comes, I'll share what I've learned and maybe we can continue to learn together.

Now I'm not a total grinch and Christmas is my absolute favorite time of the year.  There is a magic around the Christmas season that doesn't happen any other time.  Whole towns light up, people get nicer, they hold doors open for you, they smile more, and that whole 'peace and goodwill towards men' is a real thing.  

Trees with lights are magical.

It is impossible to look at one and *not* feel your heart going all mushy.

I love trees and lights so much I have two of them.

This tree is even more awesome because Sofia picked out that star for the top.

And when else do you get to have an awesome snowman on your porch?

My girlfriend's father is a woodcarver and that is a solid piece of wood - 

how awesome is that?!

I know not everyone gets snow at Christmastime, but 

there is something so, dare I say, magical about eating the first snow

of the season.

Plus, I grew up in Kansas City, home of the Plaza lights.

Being there when they flip that switch is positively amazing.

Some of my best memories are of the lighting ceremonies.

I'll be the first to tell you there's magic at Christmastime, and I wholeheartedly celebrate that magic.  And at celebrations, you give gifts; I'm down with that.  We just don't go overboard because again, I'm not trying to raise a greedy child.  The day she whines about not getting enough gifts is the day we take a break from gift-receiving to refocus our priorities.  It's time to celebrate our family and our friends.  It's time to do nice things for other people, regardless of who's looking and whether or not you'll get recognition for it.  I mean, you should do it year-round but there's something about Christmas that just makes people more open and giving.  That's the magic of Christmas. 

That's the part I'm sure about.  And maybe I'm over-thinking the whole Santa thing, but I still think I might just take Sofia to the portrait studio to get pictures in her Christmas dress.

Oh yeah, and I totally say Merry Christmas - no Happy Holidays over here.  It doesn't sound right to my ears so I don't say it.  You know, just in case you were wondering.

*Obligatory disclaimer when you talk about touchy subjects:  All opinions expressed are my own.  I do not judge in any way whatsoever and whatever you do to celebrate the magic of Christmas, in whatever way you do it, whatever your motivation, is A-ok fine with me.  And even if it weren't, that's completely fine too.  I'm one little nobody on this Earth and what I think counts no more than the other seven billion people on this planet.*