Mom hair

Thing #812 they don't tell you when you have a kid:  After you have said kid, your hair will fall out.  Observe.

8 months preggo, hair is lush and full

6 months post-partum and nearly bald at the temples

Full disclosure:  I'd gotten a blow-out for the bottom picture and I really don't have enough hair for blow-outs to look good on me.  I do much better when I do my own hair, like I did in the top picture.  It's just that I have to blowdry it first and then go back over every section with a big-barreled curling iron to smooth it out and that takes forever.  Plus, I wanted the pampering that they give you at the salon, but I really should have known better.

Even more full disclosure, because it's just so horrifying:

I nearly cried when I saw this picture because I looked so bald.  

I'm never getting a blowout again.

It's pretty safe to say I haven't the slightest clue what to do with my hair since I've had a child.  The method I just described takes at least an hour and a half to do and it must be done all at once because it'll look fuzzy and I won't be able to fix it.  These days I only have that kind of time after midnight and I'm so spent by then, the last thing I'm thinking about is my hair, so most days it looks like this:

This is a one day old twist-out.  One day.

It looked like this the day before.  Decent right?

Too bad I can only get it to look like this for one day.

The only upside to having rat's nest hair is that it's just ratty enough to give you good height when putting it in a bun.  Buns are my life now.

Gather into a ponytail, wrap it around and pin.

It comes pre-ratted!

I don't even have to try and make it this big,

which is cool and kinda gross at the same time.

I rarely straighten it these days so my routine is mostly this:

Day 1: Wash and detangle and put it in four two-strand twists without separating the strands because I don't have time for that.

Day 2:  Good hair day.  I take out the twists and go somewhere so I can be seen with my cute hair.

Day 3:  Ratty ponytail because it's still sort of okay to be out.

Day 4:  French braid if I can get my hands in my hair.  If not, it's a bun.

Day 5:  Bun.

Day 6:  Bun.

Day 7:  Bun.

Day 8:  Bun.

Day 9:  Realize I haven't washed my hair in nine days, get grossed out and wash it.

I do it to myself, because I don't do anything to it at night.  If I could find a no-fuss nighttime routine, I would be so happy because I don't do satin pillowcases, bonnets, and I certainly don't retwist it.  I usually put it in one braid just to keep it out of my face, knowing my hair doesn't like braids.

And don't get me started on detangling!  I was all excited because I thought I found my Holy Grail product that would get my hair detangled without losing mounds of hair.  If I didn't know that pregnancy hair falls out when you're no longer pregnant, I'd be crying every day.  I was losing handfuls of hair y'all.  It was scary and no amount of vitamins could stop it.  Thankfully, it seems to have slowed down but I sure do hate seeing more hair in my brush than on my head.

Anyway, coconut oil!  I thought coconut oil was my Holy Grail, my key to slip and shine and smooth, tangle free tresses.  

HA.  It's more like the key to stringy, greasy nonsense.

It took me two hours to get this head full of grease.

It's okay to be jealous.

At least I have a little more hair at the temples now.

I wanted straight hair for Drew's Christmas party this past weekend and took my precious sleep time Thursday night to do my hair.  I'd used coconut oil for the twist out when we went to see Santa so I thought it would work with straight hair too.  No and no.  Detangling was so hard, I thought I was going to pull the rest of my hair out.  Blowdrying it melted the oils more so I was just a mess o' grease.  Curling it made it even worse so I had to do it all over again when we arrived in Reading Friday night.  I was so pissed!

Ironically, the detangler I bought for my curls works best when I use it to straighten my hair.  Go figure.

 Kinky Curly Knot Today

It works great to detangle but it made my hair so sticky when I'd twist it and leave it to air dry.  I was about to give it away when I used it Friday night and then blowdried my hair.  Magic!  So weird.

I'm super glad I don't have to throw it out but I still don't have a good detangler when I wear it curly, which is most of the time.

So this is where y'all chime in.  What's your nighttime routine?  What's your curly detangler?  What do you do with your hair now that you've had a kid?  Did your hair fall out too?  Isn't that the most depressing shit ever?

Wordless Wednesday (sort of)

Yeah right, like I could do a post with no words.  


I happened to have my phone in my pocket and instead of getting annoyed, I ruefully snapped a photo because this is my life now.


You know how they say once you have a kid you'll never be alone again?  Ever?  It's true.

Right after this, I broke out the pack n play again to have a place to stash her when I have to go to the bathroom because she shouldn't have to witness that.

I can't do anything about the dog though.

The Mom Bag

Lots of things change when you become a mom.  You never sleep again, your heart grows a million sizes, you see the world differently, blah blah blah.  You know one of the biggest changes I struggled with?  


My handbag.


I didn't realize how important my handbag was to me until I had to stop carrying one in favor of a diaper bag.  All of a sudden my most important accessory had also grown a million sizes.

My super stylish girlfriend got me my first diaper bag at my baby shower.  She is single with no kids.  That's lesson one:  Buy your own diaper bag.  Handbags are an intensely personal thing and you're better off picking one out for yourself and showing it to the person who wants to get you something, just because no one else really knows your personality, your wardrobe or even how you plan to use your bag.  I didn't know this and figured diaper bags were diaper bags.  The only thing I told her is that I didn't want one that was too precious.

Nope

No thank you

No offense to anyone who carries a diaper bag like these, but it's just not my thing.  I don't find patterned diaper bags very versatile and they practically scream "There's poop in here!"  So she went for one that was a little more gender-neutral.

Diaper Dude Faux Suede bag

This bag worked great in the beginning, when I didn't get out much and Sofia's things were small.  She wasn't too interested in toys, she hadn't grown into her cloth diapers and life was good.  I loved the cross-body style and I felt very hip and urban carrying it.  Then I started getting out more and I started cursing the giant messenger flap.  There were three pockets on the outside of the bag, but trying to lift the flap, unzip the pocket, dig in the pocket to get something while trying to keep the flap from flapping down, all one-handed with a crying baby, and life started getting hard.  Lesson two:  Get a bag with easily accessible outside pockets and easy zippers.  Flaps suck.

As I started to get the hang of the mom thing, I also started to feel like my bag was a little too gender neutral.  I mean, this was my bag!  Pretty much my only accessory!  Heels were gone, earrings and necklaces got sacrificed to curious baby fingers, daily makeup was a joke, I never really wore rings and I was starting to feel a little less than feminine.  So I started the search for a handbag that could function as a diaper bag.

It needed to be big - like mom big.  I was carrying cloth diapers now, a change of clothes, and.... well, you'll see.

I also wanted it to be leather.  That way it could somewhat dress up my outfit and make me look slightly more put together.  Outside pockets were a must, but I didn't want it looking like a fisherman's vest.  I searched high and low, staying up nights - seriously!  I needed a lot from this bag and I intended to carry it for several years so it had to be up to the task.

I wanted something brown and distressed because most of my wardrobe is brown and I wear jeans or yoga pants pretty much every day so I didn't want it to be too structured and fussy.  It had to have a short shoulder strap so I could still hold the baby with both hands.  I know the cross-body style is better for the back but it also made me feel mannish so I'll just have to do some extra yoga to counteract the potential back problems.

I consulted Ain't no Mom Jeans for tips and guidelines and that's where I first saw the Foley and Corinna Mid City Tote.

Foley and Corinna Mid City Tote

Now, if you click the link, you'll notice that this little bag costs a shit-ton of money.  Money that I don't have and wouldn't pay even if I had it.  But I loved the bag - so I went looking for its twin.  Even a long lost cousin would work for me too.  I looked at Overstock and kind of liked this one.

Junior Drake tote

I liked the style but I didn't care for the colors.

I kept an eye on Craigslist and Ebay too.  I probably spent a month looking online for bags and going to stores when Sofia would let me.  Nearly every night I'd check different websites looking at different bags, but I kept coming back to the Foley and Corinna.  

And then the purse gods smiled on me.

I found a Foley and Corinna on Ebay for a fraction of the original cost.  I was nervous as hell because Ebay is notorious for fakes but this one felt right.  The pictures looked good, I asked my questions and I went for it.  I paced back and forth, waiting for it to come because I wanted to like it and I wanted it to work and I was prepared to leave all kinds of negative feedback if it was ugly or fake looking in any way.

It wasn't!  It was beautiful!  Gorgeous dark brown leather, beat-up just the right amount and BIG.

I can carry my house in here.

I've had this bag for a couple of months now and I love it.  It's roomy and stylish and goes with everything.  I was worried that it would become a black hole but it's got two inside pockets and two outside pockets and that works just fine.

The shoulder strap is handy too.

As for what's in the bag?  Wellll,

1.  Diaper wipes, just in case.

2.  Spare outfit for the baby.  This is a MUST.

3.  Cloth wipe solution and washcloths.

4.  Wet bag for cloth diapers

5.  Maxi-pad, just in case and if someone asks you for one. 

6.  Liquid hand sanitizer

7.  Hand lotion

8.  Dairy pills because I'm lactose intolerant.

9.  Boogie wipes because I don't want Sofia to be the Booger Kid.

10.  Changing pad

11.  Pacifier case in case she ever decides she'll take one.

12.  Bib

13.  Boon spoons for food pouches.  I don't really need these but they're in there, just in case.

14.  Dreft laundry pen

15.  Flip and digital camera bag with cord

16.  Gum, baby nail clippers and travel tubes of Aquaphor.

17.  Checkbook and lots of pens.  Why do I have so many pens?

18.  Coin purse

19.  Credit card holder

20.  Disposable diapers, just in case

21.  Sunglasses

22.  Burp cloth

23.  Cloth diaper - sometimes I carry two

24.  Hand sanitizer wipes - when I run out, these will go away

25.  Mommy cards - these actually come in quite handy!

26.  Bronzer - my attempt at being cute.  I have never touched it.

27.  Card for the guy at the nail salon.

28.  All my lip stuff and a Tide stick.

I just realized I didn't number my coupons.  They're right below the maxipad.  Coupons are very important - I mostly have Buy Buy Baby, Babies R Us and Bed Bath and Beyond coupons.  Did you know Bed Bath and Beyond coupons never expire?  And that they're kind of a drugstore now?  With makeup and toothpaste and everything?  I get my toilet paper and shampoo and stuff there now and I get 20% or $5 off and sometimes both!  I'm such a mom now - whenever we go someplace, I'm all "Wait, let me see if I have a coupon!"

So that's my mom bag for ya.  I realize that I may carry too much stuff, or you may hate my bag and that's totally fine.  Handbags are personal decisions and what works for me may not work for you.  This post was actually really fun for me to write and it spurred me to clean out my diaper bag so it's all good.  It's definitely a work in progress and as Sofia gets older and her needs change, my bag will probably change too.  But for now, this is me!