Is it Christmas yet?

Do y'all remember Beetlejuice?  Am I dating myself?  I don't care, this is how I feel.

If I knew Photoshop, I'd put my face there but

you'll just have to use your imagination.

I am so sad and gloomy and I apologize in advance.  It's raining here and all I want is to be at home, back in bed.  But more than that, what I really want is for my parents to come back.  Specifically, my little mommy.  Well, wait, my dad too.  Okay, so not 'specifically.'

My parents came to visit for the weekend and we had such a wonderful time and nobody fought (can you believe that?!?!) and we laughed and hung out.  While I enjoyed every moment, it made me miss my parents so so very much.  I don't have any family at all here in Dallas and most days it doesn't bother me, but this time it really got to me.  We didn't even do anything in particular, just normal vacation-type stuff.  We took them to the gardens where we got married, went shopping, went out to dinner, watched tv, and it was perfect.  We didn't have to try, conversation was never strained and there weren't any real awkward silences, thanks to my dad.  My dad can talk to anyone who will stand still long enough which of course embarrassed the crap out of me when I was a kid.  But now, I can appreciate his ability to keep a conversation going and engage anyone in the room.  It's actually quite a valuable skill.  Drew's a man of few words and I didn't realize how much I missed random chatter until my dad and his endless questions filled the house.  I can appreciate silence but good conversation about nothing in particular is just as valuable to me and the whole weekend I just sat with a smile in my heart, listening to my dad talk.  It was kind of like our house woke up a little bit.

I didn't take any pictures - not one.  I spent the entire weekend glued to my mom's side, holding her hands, and alternating between laying my head on her shoulder and letting her rub my temples with my head on her lap.  I missed my mom's touch and I felt like a kid again, but in the good way.  Not the way where you feel like your parents don't see you as an adult - the way that just a touch from your mom makes you all glowy inside. 

To me, that's the greatest part about family.  I've had my differences with my mom, my major differences with my dad but we always end up coming back to center, to that place where my dad will sit on the toilet and let me trim his old-man eyebrows, that place where I hold hands with my mom and walk a little slower than usual because she's so short and her little legs don't go as fast.  That place where they're still my parents, bigger and stronger, with more wisdom and answers and life experience than I'll ever have, yet they're fragile and delicate and I find myself wanting to fluff their pillows and hover, making sure they're comfortable and they have everything they need.

I miss them so much and I've never felt the distance between us as acutely as I did this morning when they left and as I do now.  Maybe I'm getting older and realizing how quickly time passes or I'm just inordinately mushy, but I wanted to fold myself in their suitcase.  I want to hear my dad talk for hours about nothing.  I want to rub my mom's hands that are still wonderfully soft and unlined.  

I wonder if I'll ever have children and they'll bury their faces in my lap and play with my hands and look in my eyes and say "I love you so much Mom."  Even when they're 34 years old.