The Girlfriend Fairy

Dude, can y'all tell when I write about one thing when I really want to write about something else?  Am I that transparent?  Because I have had something rolling around my brain but I hadn't quite figured out how to address my point.  I blame you if this comes out all wrong, Anonymous.  Kidding kidding.  I don't mind being called out.  Anyway...


One of my favorite bloggers wrote a post a while back and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since I read it.  This blogger is an amazing writer and I love her honesty and her words always jump off the page, almost to where you feel like you know her.  Of course, we can only ever know a blogger as well as they permit us to know them, but she's a pretty good open book and what I've read is awesome and that is one girl I'd like to have lunch with.


The post is worth a read, but if you don't read it, the gist is that she made lists:  one very specific detailing what she's looking for in a man and the other what she's wanting out of the upcoming year.  The list about the man caught my attention the most because my own Hubs has a lot of the things on her list.  In fact, hold please - going to re-read the list.


.....


Of the 18 things on her list, Drew has/is 12 of them.  I read her list and was like that's Drew!


Then I got to thinking about my life and my own relationship and I wanted to ask her and now you.  Say you get all that stuff - what are you willing to put up with to get it?  So often, we think of the good qualities in a person and we don't spend a lot of time dwelling on the bad.  Which is as it should be, because none of us would ever dare get into a relationship if we spent too much time thinking about the bad stuff.


However, that's life.  You may find a man who is well-educated, motivated and comes from a good family and wants boatloads of kids but (speaking only for myself) that does not make it any more ok that he's addicted to video games.


And before I go further, remember I am talking about me and my life and what doesn't work for me.  So if your man is all about the video games, or sports or whatever else, put down the stones.  I'm not talking about you.  I don't even know anyone whose husband is addicted to video games.


We all daydream about what we want in a mate or even a job (second biggest chunk of your time.)  But we rarely think about what are we willing to put up with or even give in order to receive what we want.


I remember when I was a kid, my mother used to yell at my dad constantly about shaving in the sink because he would never rinse it out when he was done and it drove her nuts.  A little thing, but those little things day in and day out are enough to make you temporarily forget all the great things.  My dad has never ran the streets, she always knew where he was, he always did his best to provide for us, but many a time the walls would shake with my mom yelling "Cliiiiiiinnnnt! Your hairs are in the sink again!!!!!!"  I'd hear married girlfriends gripe and I found myself internally rolling my eyes, wondering why they were nitpicking over such dumb stuff.


Only now that I'm married do I get it.  The shit gets on your nerves.


Rather than outline all my husband's faults (because that's unnecessary), he's got them.  We all do.  I'm pretty, I'm well-educated, I come from a good family, I want children, and I like to keep the house clean.  But I have a teensy itty-bitty tiny bit of an anger issue.  Betcha Drew didn't put that on his list!


Dear Girlfriend Fairy,
Please send me a girlfriend with big boobs and long hair that comes from a good family and will be a good mother.  Oh also, can she throw things at my head when she's mad at me and throw my clothes on the lawn when we're fighting?  Thank you Girlfriend Fairy.


Somehow I just don't think that's how it went for him. 


We don't pray to the Boyfriend Fairy to send us a tall dark and handsome man that will also spend every. godblessed. Sunday on the sofa in front of whatever game is on.  Or one who flat-out refuses to do the dishes.  Or one who always forgets birthdays and anniversaries.


But what if that very same guy loves you to pieces and is devoted to you and does everything right in every other area?  Could you do it?  Think right now about the grossest thing a guy could do or the thing that gets under your skin the most and pair that with your version of Prince Charming.


For me it's spitting (and I've already talked about it so it's okay.)  My motivated, well-educated, comes from a good family, wants kids, handsome husband spits when he brushes his teeth.  The hock-a-loogie spits.  Every time.  And it makes my skin crawl every time.  A little thing yes, but mutiply two, sometimes three times a day by 365 days by three years and that's a whole lotta spitting.  It's not a deal-breaker and I will love him until the end of his loogie-spitting days because it is what it is. 


Prince Charming spits.


Princess Charming will take all your clothes out of your closet and dressers and make a huge mess when she's pissed.


But let's end on a light note - without putting your significant others on blast, what's the grossest thing you would or do put up with in the name of love?


What would your letter to the Boyfriend or Girlfriend Fairy look like?