Everything and nothing

That's what my days look like, that's what I'm thinking about, that's how I feel.


Sofia is an easy baby.  I often joke with Drew that we should quit while we're ahead because she's so easy, which means any babies that come after her will be holy terrors.  She sleeps through the night - I'm talking 9p-5a, get up to nurse, and back to bed until 9, sometimes 10am.  It's a beautiful thing.  She naps like clockwork, at 1p for about an hour and 6:30 for another hour, and if the angels smile on me sometimes she'll take a two or three hour afternoon nap!  I did nothing to set this schedule, I take no credit.  I am no supermom.  I merely gave her what she needed.  She only has crying fits when I don't adhere to the schedule and try to keep her up past one or don't lay her down at 6:30.  As long as I stay in line, she's happy.

I resisted the urge to go into the nursery right now and snap a picture

of her napping so this one is from last month, one of the first

times she took a nap in the crib.

The mobile is a lifesaver - I got it for her when she started making real eye contact with me.  She'll get hypnotized by it, giving me precious time to go to the bathroom in peace, or change my clothes or brush my teeth.  My favorite thing about it is the remote control, so when it stops I don't have to go all the way into her room to turn it back on.  I was so amazed at how well it worked I nicknamed it Jesus.

Every morning Sofia, Maya and I go for our walk around the neighborhood.  Maya and I get our exercise to keep us from being insane.  I keep looking for my abs on our walks, but I haven't found them yet.  However, pushing the stroller up the hills is helping me to find my butt and thighs so at least there's that.  I even saw a couple of ladies from the playgroup and we stopped and chatted!  That felt so good - I felt like I had a seat in cafeteria!

Yeah, I'm a mom, I have mom friends, no big deal.  I'm cool, I'm breezy, I'm not a dork at all.

And then something happens that reminds me.  Things aren't always what they seem.

On our walk this morning I was wearing a tank top and had my hair in a bun.  I was also wearing yoga pants - surprise surprise.  The playgroup ladies had come up behind me so naturally, after a bit of small talk one of them asked me about my tattoo.  I was caught off guard - most of the time you can't see it and it has such personal meaning for me I rarely know how to explain it.  Well, being Smooth Move Sally that I am, I word vomited as usual and ended up telling them that I'd had a couple of losses (I was so flustered I didn't even get the number right, making me feel even guiltier.)  Thankfully, it didn't completely halt the conversation but there was an awkward pause.

It got me thinking.  About my lack of thinking.  About the other babies, that is.

Sofia consumes my every waking moment.  I miss her while she sleeps.  I live around her schedule, eating and sleeping in between mothering her.  But let's face it - walking the dog, naps, feeding - it's not exciting stuff.  It's easy to say 'nothing' when someone asks what I've done all day.  But it's my everything just the same.  It's my whole life.

Between my mothering moments, I thought of them.  The other babies.  And I wonder if they know that even though my everything is consumed with Sofia, I wonder if they know they're not nothing.  They were real to me, all of them.  I miss them all and I hold them in my heart just as surely as I hold Sofia in my arms.

But I have to admit, since she was born, the memory of them has faded.  The pain isn't quite so acute because honestly, there's so much joy when I look at Sofia.  One time she smiled at me and I thought I would start crying because I was so happy.  It's hard to be anything but ecstatic when one of my silly faces or weird noises gets a big gummy smile from her.

Yet, when she asked about my tattoo I thought of them all over again.  About that time in my life, that's so far removed from my present, but I feel the pang just the same.  I found myself wondering if they know.  If they know they're not nothing.  That even though I have my everything, they're not nothing.

I know things are as they're supposed to be and all mourning must come to a close, otherwise how would any of us ever go on? 

But they know, right?  They know they're not nothing, right?  That even though my days and nights are filled with Sofia, they're still important and will always have that place in my heart?

It was an innocent question on a random day.  I didn't descend into a pit of sorrow and soon the memory will fade.  But for a moment, in the midst of my everything and nothing, I thought of them.  

Let's talk fashion

Let's pretend that we're just hanging out, without a care in the world.  The laundry is done, the house is clean and we're just sitting around, glass of wine in hand, talking about girl stuff like clothes and shoes and hair - I haven't done that in a while.  Join me, won't you?

Hands in the mouth is optional

So is seeing what other people will look like with your hair.

Speaking of hair, I don't know how natural moms do it!  I'm lucky if I can wash my hair, much less do my standard style.  I just went back and looked at that post and sighed wistfully at how great my hair looked.  These days, the best I can do is wash, detangle with some no-frizz stuff and put it in a ponytail - wet.  

My no-frizz stuff.  If you know of something better, please share!

I'm not wildly pleased with my no-frizz stuff because it doesn't make my hair soft.  I don't know if that's because I don't separate the curls like I usually do, or if I'm just not meant to have soft hair, but it's feeling kind of wiry and that makes me sad.

The other thing that bugs me, is that I can't twist it at night anymore.  The baby goes to sleep between nine and ten these days and I usually run around and do dishes and laundry once she's down, and before I go to bed around 11:30.  Twisting my hair is the last thing I want to do, but that means I wake up with a ball of fuzz the next morning and the only thing I can do is put on  a headband and throw it in a bun because hairline fuzz is my pet peeve.

And never mind straight hair.  That is an ordeal.  I have to start straightening it immediately out of the shower so all told, that's a two hour process.  Granted, I can have smooth hair for almost two weeks but finding two solid hours to get 'er done is ridiculously difficult and if I have two hours at my disposal, I kinda want to do other stuff like blog, read blogs, comment on blogs, or SLEEP.

I'm just wondering if I have to just bite the bullet and schedule hair days like I schedule everything else, and you know what babies think of schedules other than their own!  Either way, I'm not cutting it.  It's super easy to throw it in a ponytail or bun and once I do figure out the hair thing, I'll be glad to have hair to fix!  

Then there's clothes.  I purged my drawers and my closet is next but it's got me wondering.  Can new moms be stylish without it taking hours or tons of accessories?  AND without turning into a yoga-pants-tank-top woman?  To that end, I'm wondering if there are staple clothing items that make you look pulled together without too much effort.  There's got to be more to life than jeans and a tank top!

And then do you get a few quality (read: expensive) pieces and wear those all the time or do you just hit up Target?  I have some Target flip-flops that have lasted six years but they're nearing the end, which is what got me thinking about all this in the first place.  When replacing them, do I go back to Target or spend the money on a really nice pair that'll look more put together simply because they're nicer (read: more expensive.)  Also, can you own just one pair of extremely versatile shoes that go with day jeans and a tank top as well as night jeans and a tank top?  What's the minimum number of shoes that you have to have and what are they?

Is there a good clothing line or store that has versatile clothes that won't fall apart after one washing?  That's why I don't do Forever 21 or Charlotte Russe or those brands.  Yeah, you can get a shirt for ten bucks but it'll pill and look gross after just one wash!

So is it possible?  Can you look put together with minimal effort and what are the keys?  Is there such a thing as mommy/busy woman chic?  

*As I sit here in a cheapie Target dress that's all pill-y and gross, with my fuzzy hair in a bun.  At least I showered!* 

I was glamoured

For the past four days, Drew and I have been glued to the sofa watching True Blood.  I watched all the shows we had on AppleTV and was looking for a new show to get into.  Carolyn suggested True Blood and that's what we've been doing every night after the baby has gone to bed which is why I'm only just now getting around to talking about Drew's first Father's Day and catching up on all my blog-reading.  That's a mess and I blame True Blood and their damn cliffhangers at the end of every episode!  It got to where I would turn to Drew and go "I hate this damn show.  Let's watch another one."  Sunday night we stayed up until two in the morning watching Season 2 and I can't wait until Drew gets back in town so we can load up on Season 3.  Such a mess!


Anyway, Drew's first Father's Day went off without a hitch!  Sofia decided he needed a new wallet and the dog wanted him to have some new workout clothes.  They both got him a card and I think he was pleased!  However, I took pictures with the fancy camera that I don't know how to use and over half the pictures were blurry.  Bad blurry which pisses me off so much.  I thought the fancy camera would cure that but nope, I'm still taking shitty pictures.  One of these days I'm going to learn how to use that stupid camera.

Sofia 'holding' the card she got her Daddy

Like father, like daughter

He went ahead and gave the wallet back to her.

Good Daddy.

I love watching Drew be a dad.  I love it when he holds her - and not because I get to do things like pee or change my clothes when he holds her.  I love the way he looks at her, like he's really trying to figure out what she's thinking and any second she's going to tell him.  I especially love when he dresses her - he even puts a lot of effort into matching her outfits to her diapers!  But my favorite is when they play together - it's when my heart gets all swole up.

Telling stories to both his kids

 We're both new at this parenting thing but there he is so committed to his child.  It hasn't been smooth sailing for him but he has never given up.  When I've asked for help, he's been there and even if he's unsure of what to do, he still tries.  That's major for the guy who has to get it right the first time or he doesn't do it.  I'm so proud of how far he's come in this short time and I feel so lucky that I get to witness the growth of their relationship.  

You're a good man, babe and you're doing a great job.  I love you!

The smelly kid

I'm quitting my job tomorrow.  Or Monday.  Or sometime next week.  I'm not sure, because I've never quit a job under these circumstances and I'm nervous.  Anytime I've left a job, it's for a reason.  And now I want to punch myself in the face for thinking that staying home to mother my child is not a good enough reason to quit my job.

We decided that I would quit while I was still pregnant.  It just didn't make sense to have 90% of my paycheck going to daycare, and with Drew's travel schedule it would be up to me to take Sofia to all doctor's appointments, pick her up from daycare if she was sick, stay home with her if the daycare was closed for some reason and frankly, as long as the option is available to us for me to stay home, I want to take it.

That doesn't mean I'm not nervous.  I've had a job since I was 16, often more than one.  And because I'm not going to keep clarifying, when I say job I mean working outside the home for a paycheck.  Because believe me, this past eight weeks has me convinced that staying home is a job.  

It's just that being a new mom is like being the new kid at school.  I hated being the new kid at school.  Granted, I was the new kid only once but that was more than enough for me and I don't know anyone who is excited to relive high school, yet that's what being a new mom feels like.  If you don't have someone to take you under their wing and show you the ropes, you're stuck standing at the entrance of the cafeteria, hoping and praying someone will invite you to their table.  Otherwise, you sit alone, like the smelly kid.

I went to a moms event the other night.  I know a support network is important and if I'm not careful I'll turn into a hermit because making new friends makes my stomach hurt.  However, that's not good for my kid so I make the effort.

It started at 6:30.  It was at a restaurant and I arrived at 6:20 to find the place completely full.  It was my high school nightmare.  All of the tables appeared to be spoken for, with purses on empty chairs and I stood at the entrance with my stroller, wishing someone would make eye contact and beckon me over.  It didn't happen and I quickly found the only empty table left and sat down, again wishing for someone to walk in after me and join me.  Also didn't happen.

I totally felt like the smelly kid.  All the other ladies there were talking and laughing, looking like they'd all known each other for years.  They were dressed in their cute tops and jeans and dangly earrings and I felt out of place in my yoga pants, nursing tank and no makeup (even though they were nice yoga pants and I was in fact not smelly.)  I thought this was an event for new moms!  I didn't know it was a dangly earrings event.

Thank God I had the baby with me, or I would've looked

super pathetic!

The whole thing was so awkward because the restaurant set-up didn't lend itself to mingling.  The ladies at the table behind me were polite and asked me about my baby but it's hard to talk to someone over your shoulder and there were no open spaces at their table so it's not like they could have asked me to join them.  I was so thankful when it hit 8 o'clock and I could justify leaving, as if anyone would have missed me.

I also went to a playgroup in my neighborhood.  My neighbor invited me and I couldn't say yes fast enough.  But it was the same thing.  The playgroup was for babies born in 2010, so the youngest one there was six months old and they'd been meeting for a while.  The first time I went I did nothing but sit in relative silence, only speaking when I was spoken to, unable to contribute to conversations that were started long before I got there.  Again, I was relieved when it was time to go.

At least at work, you can keep to yourself and get away with it.  You can always claim 'being swamped' as a reason to keep your door shut.  Or, if you work in a great place like I do did, you find something in common with your colleagues on the first day - no matter how small and bam, you've got a seat in the cafeteria. 

But when you're at home and it's just you and your kid, that's a whole different story.  All moms are not created equal and just because you both have kids, it doesn't mean that you'll automatically get along.  

However, I'm trying - I'm going to keep going to the playgroup, I've joined the neighborhood network and I'm looking into other things that I can do with the baby but it's not easy.  How do you walk up to someone cold and just say 'hey, wanna be friends?'  What if you choose wrong and the person you talk to is a certified nutbag?  Or they're really whiny and negative all the time?  Or worst of all, they judge your mothering skills?  I nearly snapped back at a woman at that moms event because she said my baby was 'so tiny.'  I almost went off about how there was absolutely nothing wrong with my baby, that she's the perfect size for her and she should mind her own business.  Then again, maybe she meant 'so tiny' in a non-mean way but I was too uncomfortable and self-conscious to tell the difference.  

I'm so thankful that I have the opportunity to be home with my daughter.  I just have to be careful that I don't take that too literally.  For her sake, I need to get out there and get involved and step outside my comfort zone.  I need to set the example for her and not be afraid of new people and try harder at making new friends.

It's just that it's no fun feeling like the smelly kid.

PS - I changed the comment format because Blogger was being an asshole and making it hard for some people to leave comments and I have no idea why so I installed Disqus.  This way I can also reply to comments.  Everything should still be the same, only better.  I hope it doesn't suck!    

Juxtaposition

Today was a terrible day.  Drew and I took Sofia to get her two month shots and it. was. terrible.  I tried to be strong for her sake and failed miserably - I cried almost as much as she did.  The only good part was that the nurse held her down and then handed her to me to nurse, so we didn't have to be the bad guys.  Drew and I consoled her but she was so very upset and little tears were just running down her face.  She's asleep on my chest right now and I promised her a pony.


Today was a wonderful day!  The maid came!  We walked in the door to a clean-house smell and she did a phenomenal job!  Even by my standards and I'm OCD about my house.  I left her a two page note specifying what I was looking for and she delivered and then some!  I'm talking clean baseboards, clean windowsills, clean dog bowl!  I feel so much better about being able to maintain the house and no longer feel like I'm going to be swallowed up by dog hair.


Today was a painful day.  We're going on vacation and we have to get passports and visas and holy shit that was expensive!  My jaw fell open when he told us the cost.


Today was an exciting day.  We're going on vacation to a place that requires us to have passports and visas!


Today was a melancholy day.  I got dressed this morning, pulling clothes from a newly sorted dresser.  Remember when I said I wanted to purge my closet?  Well, I purged a couple of dresser drawers and got rid of about half of my tops that are now too small thanks to my porn nursing boobs, as well as the ones that don't have good boob access since that's going to be my life for the next year, maybe longer.  I used to be able to wear XS tops.  Like, a year ago.  Le sigh.


Today was a great day.  I have more functional clothing than I thought and it's always fun to 'find' clothes in your closet.  I wore a ring that I haven't worn in over a year and little things like that go so far to lift my mood!  Plus, I fit into some shorts that were too tight just a couple of weeks ago!


Today was a bittersweet day.  We arrived at the doctor's office a little early so we stopped at a cafe nearby.  I changed the baby's diaper in the bathroom and 'You Are So Beautiful' was playing.  My dad used to play that song for me when I was a little girl and and I told my little girl about her grandpa and how he'll sing it to her the next time he sees her.  As much as they drive me nuts, I wish I lived closer to my family.

It's such a simple song but it puts a lump in my throat every time.

Today was a progressive day.  This marks two solid days of sleeping in the crib and the baby is taking regular naps!  I'm feeling good!

Today was a wistful day.  This marks two solid days that I have run to her crib at five in the morning to bring the baby back in bed with me because I miss her so much at nighttime.  I'm such a mushball.

Today was a proud day.  Drew has a super fancy camera and I've finally gotten over my fear of it and I used it!  It's waaay better than my camera, although it's got so many bells and whistles I can still only point and shoot.  I finally got to edit them today!

 Taken ON her two month birthday!

She looks like she dancin'!

My homage to Young House Love

I'm kind of partial to my kid though - no offense YHL.

I wonder what tomorrow will bring.

Learning and growing

Nothing is ever all good, nothing is ever all bad.  If you've been around here for a while, you know that's my mantra.  It's what I come back to whenever I have a meltdown.  It keeps me from falling off the deep end when things are bad and it reminds me to soak it up and be present in the moment when things are good. 

 Like this moment.

The baby woke up at three this morning and completely refused to go back to sleep.  I nursed her and her little eyes would droop as usual, but as soon as I went to lay her back down they popped open and she was ready to go.  At five, Drew finally took her so I could get a little more sleep and when I woke up, I found this.  They were playing!  It was the sweetest thing ever!

See?  I don't hate my dog and I'm not going to get rid of her.  Thank you all so much for your suggestions, encouragement and advice.  I laughed when I read about the suggestions for the Furminator because we have one, along with a kabillion other 'dog-hair removal devices.'  If it's made for removing dog hair, I've purchased it.  The only reason we didn't use the Furminator as often is because Maya is like a little kid that doesn't like her hair combed.  She would run at the sight of it and it became easier to let her win than fight a 90-pound dog.  

However, if there's anything that being a new parent has taught me is that the kids can't win.  Just like human babies, furbabies will test you and if you give in, you're doing them a disservice.  Cesar Millan comes to mind - Rules, Boundaries, Limitations.  They - dogs and kids - need them and they like them.  So, I armed myself with treats, we went outside and I won.  

I Furminated the shit out of that dog.

It is now on my calendar and the reminder will pop up on my phone.  Once a week, Maya and I will have a date with the Furminator.  I will also put her back on her regular grooming schedule and I'm looking into changing her food (Thanks Tina!)  I'm taking back my house.

And!  AND!  The angels are coming to my house on Monday. *cue happy dance*

Oh yes y'all - I got a maid!  Well, cleaning lady.  A person who will clean my house for money.  I don't know what's PC.  Who cares!  I got a maid!

She's coming every other week and I'm just giddy thinking about it.  I really hope it works out because it'll be so much easier to maintain the house and leave the deep cleaning to her.  I'm so excited!

Guess what else!

My little baby is holding up her head!

This is happening too fast.

I'm obsessed with baby socks.  I love them.  I may not put my kid in a different designer outfit every day but I sure will put cute socks on her!  I found some adorable socks online and I was thrilled to find a cute outfit on my last Target outing (five bucks on clearance!) so it was time for a little photoshoot.  I was taking pictures and decided to see what she'd do if I put her on her tummy.  She'd been pulling up when I'd hold her on my chest so I figured she was ready.

She's getting there!

Then I rolled her back over so we could continue our photoshoot.

Playing around with Picasa and my camera settings.

Maybe by the time she's a year old I'll get the hang of it.

But how much do you love those socks?!

Could you just melt? 

We're also establishing a routine.  She took a real live nap in her crib today and she's sleeping! in her crib! right now!  Since 9pm!  I fully believe it's because we're finding our way.  Just like you, my wonderful readerfriends said it would, her routine gradually presented itself and I just reinforced it.  I'm watching for her sleepy cues and taking naps really does help to keep her from getting overtired.  I know now that I was letting her get so tired to where nothing but nursing and cuddling right next to me in bed would calm her down.  So, I watched her like a hawk this past week, helped her fall asleep when she was tired and my baby is in her crib!  I didn't plan it - for the past few days I just started putting her in her crib when she's sleepy, taking her out when she fusses and putting her back when she's calm.  Nothing major and no crying is involved.  I refuse to cry it out when there are gentler ways to accomplish the same goal.  She cries, I go to her.  End of story.

I have no idea how long this will last, if tomorrow night she'll hate the crib, but right now in this moment it's working and I'm happy.  Although I will be sleeping in the nursery tonight.  Just in case she needs me.  Just in case she wants to sleep with me.

Since I didn't plan it, I'm the one who's going through withdrawals.  I enjoy sleeping with my baby.  I like hearing her little grunts and sighs, rolling over to stroke her cheek in the middle of the night. Now I'm listening to her on the baby monitor and I'm getting a lump in my throat.  I'm fighting the urge to get her out of the crib and bring her back to bed with me to snuggle in and make our nest.

She's been waking up at 5.  Only five more hours until I can hold her again, maybe less.

I better try and get some sleep myself while I can!  In the nursery.  I need to be close.

Just in case she needs me.

Mildly bothered

Because if I called it an anxiety attack that would make me crazy, right?


Okay seriously.  I'm about to tell you something and I need you to be honest.  It's serious.


I am up at 4:30 in the morning because I had to do a load of laundry.  I think I'm losing it.  


We've banished the dog from our bed.  A few months ago, I'd had it.  The dog is 90 pounds and likes to stretch all the way out when she's sleeping, usually on my side of the bed and on my feet and legs.  The other person in the bed sleeps like the dead so it was always up to me to wake up in the middle of the night to get the dog to move.  One or two times in the past year and a half I'd get help and then it was right back to business as usual.  Well, that was nothing I wanted to deal with at nine months pregnant and one particularly fitful night, I was done.  I screeched at Drew that the dog was to stay the fuck off the bed from now on I'm not playing I swear to god.  Ever since then, she's been sleeping on her dog bed a mere two feet away, none the worse for wear.


However, before she got used to her dog bed she took to sleeping on the bed in the nursery.  Leaving a disgusting layer of dog hair on the duvet cover.  Sometimes she'd burrow under the cover and leave a disgusting layer of dog hair on the sheets.  


Every time I have gone into the nursery I've had to look at that disgusting layer of dog hair but I couldn't do anything about it because I just couldn't get to it.  Sofia has only recently (as in two days ago) started to take naps so I could never tell when she would be asleep and I was busy fighting dog hair in the rest of the house and doing more important laundry like my underwear and milk-soaked nursing bras.  More and more days passed, but every day I saw it the anxiety built and built until I literally couldn't sleep because if one more second passed without me washing those sheets I would lose it.  I'm not joking, I can't freaking catch my breath right now and the damn sheets are in the wash!  WTF is wrong with me?


I know there's another person in this house that could help but it's not happening.  Since my level of cleanliness is higher than his, it's essentially my problem.  *BTW, it's not.  I don't scrub the toilet with a toothbrush and I dust sporadically.  It's just the gotdamn motherfucking dog hair.*  He doesn't mind dog hair - hell, as far as he's concerned those hairs are just strands of love sprinkled all around the fucking house.  Nope, dog hair doesn't bother him in the slightest and since it doesn't bother him, it shouldn't bother me, right?  WRONG.


BUT, who's sound asleep and who's washing the disgusting hair off of the sheets?  Who manically runs for the vacuum cleaner when the baby is sleeping?  Who Swiffers like a crazy person every other day and wishes she could do it every day?


Of course, I'm angry.  I'm mad at the dog for having the gall to shed all over the fucking house. I'm mad at the other person in the house for not caring about how much it bothers me.  I'm mad that it's not something I can get ahead of - if it were anything else, I could clean the house and it would stay relatively clean for longer than fifteen seconds.  I'm mad that we spent a kabillion dollars refinishing our floors and they are scratched all to hell.  I'm mad that it's only going to get worse because the thought of my daughter crawling is enough to give me hives.  I can't think of putting her on our disgusting dog-hair covered, scratched up floors. 


Why Jesus?  Why couldn't we have gotten a poodle?  They don't shed!  Or some other non-shedding dog? But noooo!  We had to get the one that sheds like it's her job, with the extra-special dog hair that fucking sticks to everything!


Normally, I'm pretty good at just pretending I don't see it until I can get to it.  However, with a new baby it's longer and longer until I can get to it and I'm not playing, it hurts my stomach to where I'm up in the middle of the night doing laundry.


Do I really need to get on medication so I'm not bothered by dog hair?


I just typed that and realized how ridiculous that sounded.  I'm not getting on fucking medication.


I'm getting a fucking maid.


See, this  is why I have to write.  I have to work shit out somewhere other than inside my head so I don't go crazy.  Thanks for listening.


I have to put the sheets in the dryer now and hopefully maybe get some sleep.

Squishy hugs

Two naps today people!  In her crib!  I've cleaned the house, eaten a normal meal, done dishes and laundry and we're starting to find the semblance of a routine!  The old me would laugh at my jubilation over being able to do the dishes but this is major to the new mom me.


And I get to blog!  It's a good day indeed.


This post is dedicated to my amazing blog friends.  You're not readers, you're friends.  You've been with me on this journey to become a mother, from the beginning.  You're the reason I didn't go off the deep end when it was really bad and you're the reason I smile when it's really good.  I'm so thankful for you and there are a few in particular I want to thank right now.


Julia, the booties are the cutest things in the world and I wish her little gray dress was small enough that she could wear it now.  Forgive me that I didn't have a cuter outfit on her to do the booties justice.

She made these for Sofia!

They look so cute on her!

She's giving jazz hands of excitement

La'Shara is a frequent commenter and when she sent me an email that she had a gift for the baby, I was so humbled and touched.  

She literally passed out from excitement

It's a blanket with a doll attached.  Or is it a doll with a blanket attached?

Either way  Sofia was immediately comforted and fell fast asleep.

I can't wait to use this! 

Babies are terrifyingly slippery when wet!

Rixa Freeze made a sling for the baby and I actually received it shortly before she was born.  I feel so bad for only just now mentioning it but I plead 'new momness' - please.

Look at the beautiful sling, not at how ridiculously unkempt

I look.  If Drew weren't working, I would have had him redo this picture

but it was pulling teeth to just get this one.

I attempted a self-portrait but my camera doesn't do it justice.
She sells these slings and they're amazing!

I still have to figure out how to tighten it properly, but she can personally show me when she comes to Dallas.  I'm so excited!

I have amazing friends and I'm touched by your generosity and thoughfulness.  From Heather sending me a card for my very first Mother's Day, or Krissy giving us a toy bar on her visit to Dallas, naijababelove for the booster seat, Carolyn, Kristina and Gem for being at my baby shower (Carolyn was there in spirit), as well as my girls at the Kansas baby shower,  I'm truly humbled. 

And you who read what I write and comment, you've given me your time, your most valuable asset and I thank you for that as well.  

So here's a big squishy hug from me, my husband and the baby to you, my friends.  

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Family staycation

I have amazing blog friends and I have a post coming up about how amazing they are, but I need a certain little baby to cooperate so I can take pictures.  I'm going to try and hopefully be able to write tomorrow.


For the holiday weekend, we had a staycation at a hotel not too far from home.  Drew needed the credit, they had a nice pool and it was a fun little getaway.  Our room was so dark Sofia slept nearly 12 hours!  It was wonderful!

Chilling on the Heavenly Bed

Down at the pool, sleeping through all the noise

Staying in the shade - I was so paranoid about her overheating!

I didn't want her to get in the water because of the chlorine and her sensitive skin but on the second day I finally relented and let Drew take her in just to get her feet wet.  She was NOT having it.

I think the water may have been too cold for her.

One more shot and it's back to the shade for her!

It's much more fun in the shade!

I could eat that fat little baby arm! Is that weird?

We had a fun couple of days at the pool, and we also had our first new parent hiccup.  I'm talking about Dinnerus Interruptus.  You know, where you go to a nice restaurant because the baby's asleep and just as the entree arrives, she wakes up and starts wailing?  Every new parent has experienced that I'm sure, and Saturday night was our turn.

It was hardest on Drew because food is his thing.  Do not mess with the man's food or his dining experience.  He's all about the savoring, the food pairing, the wine, the evening.

The baby does not share his love of the experience.

She woke up and was mildly fussy.  I don't mind nursing in public but for whatever reason this time it didn't occur to me to pop a boob in her mouth.  Drew had already finished his meal and he took her while I tried to eat my meal before it got cold. It wasn't until he was gone for a good twenty minutes that I finally looked at my phone and duh, realized she needed to eat.  However, he was nowhere to be found, the waiter couldn't find him and I figured he'd gone outside with her.  Luckily, he'd finished his dinner but there was still wine left in his glass (the horror!) when I flagged down our waiter to pay and get out of there because I guessed that she hadn't calmed down and he didn't want to carry a crying baby through the dining room.

I found him outside, sweating, the baby crying and he looked like he was going to fall apart.  I felt so bad for him because I know it really rattles him when she cries.  He doesn't like feeling helpless and he especially doesn't like drawing attention to himself and nothing will accomplish both in the blink of an eye like a crying baby.  We were in the restaurant for less than an hour and we sped back to the hotel, where of course the baby calmed down instantly.  Isn't that how it always goes?

I could tell he was mad because of all the muttering.  Still had wine in my glass...  ...a waste of money.... didn't even get to finish your meal...

Luckily, I was in a good headspace because it could have easily turned into a fight when, in his desperation he turned on me.  You're supposed to know when she needs to eat!  You know this stuff, I don't!  Why didn't you come find me earlier?  I didn't have my phone because you want me to unplug (so it's all your fault the baby freaked out and I didn't get to enjoy my wine Desiree.)  Luckily, I know that's what he does when he's upset - he looks for other people to blame.  Luckily, I know most guys do that.  Because otherwise, he would have gotten an earful from me about how we're both new at this and it's not wise to turn on your teammate, lest you get a boot in the eye.

It's all good though - we were able to talk about what happened without it turning into a fight and the next day was great.  We even did some shopping and the baby slept for over three hours!  Isn't that how it always goes!  And we know for next time.  Sofia eats first, always and whenever she feels like it.  I honestly don't know why it didn't occur to me to see if she would eat - oh yeah, probably because I've been doing this for less than two months and I don't have it all figured out yet.  

However, the only thing you can do is roll with it and learn not to take yourself or these situations too seriously.  It helps to have a cute baby too.

Memorial Day from Desiree on Vimeo.

So, my mom readers - help us out.  Tell me your best dinnerus interruptus story.  Or shoppingus interruptus, or churchus interruptus.  When and how did your baby let you know that they run this?