Nothing is ever all bad

They say there's no rest for the weary. Or is it the wicked? At any rate, there's no rest when you have two babies and you're solo parenting for the week, night and day, all you, all the time. 

Now, there may be no rest but your body adapts. One of my favorite phrases is yoga is 'resting in motion.' I used to say it when i was halfway into a tough class and I could feel that my people were working hard. Simply saying the words changed the room and it can change your mindset. 

For me, that's the most important part about solo parenting - finding those moments where I can rest in motion.  Because there is no finish line; it's not like I just have to put my head down for a few days and then it'll be over.  It's not like pregnancy where there are bits you can enjoy but for the most part you're just hanging on until it's over and you'll never have to do it again.  I mean, of course that's how it is for me; my hat is off to all you women who glow and love every second of pregnancy.  Please spread your pixie dust on the world.

No, this won't be the last time I have to solo parent.  Actually, my husband is going to be gone for most of the month of April.  He gets back tomorrow but there's no time to rest.  We have a jam packed birthday weekend and he leaves again Sunday night.  So it's imperative that I rest in motion - there's really no other option.  And that's precisely what I did.

Just after I finished my last post I was able to get Sofia down for a nap.  And wonder upon wonders, I was able to put Andrea down to sleep as well!

It was amazing.

I had a ton of things to do.  There was laundry to fold, dishes to put away, birthday stuff to do but I was reckless.  I threw caution to the wind and I TOOK A SHOWER.  A long one.  It was the most beautiful experience and it was just what I needed.  I tell you what, there's not much that a long hot shower can't make better.  I even put on lotion!  Talk about luxury!  I was renewed and able to be present for my girls and it was great.  Wednesday night was so much better than Tuesday night and Sofia didn't even poop on the floor! 

Thursday was great too.  Sofia had school and while she was there I went back to Office Depot to finish the printing, which was infinitely easier with one sleeping baby in the Ergo and a competent person behind the desk.  I was in and out in minutes and I felt so accomplished and stress free.  We came straight home after school, I fed Sofia and we even got out for a little walk.  She took a great nap and the day went smoothly.

Now, that doesn't mean that we didn't have moments.  Usually, I make it through my day with Andrea in the Ergo but sometimes it's better when she's in her bouncy chair.  She would prefer to be close to me and I don't blame her, but when I'm making dinner and messing around with knives or a hot stove, it's better for all of us if she's in her chair.  And I had my moment while trying to make dinner because Andrea was in her chair screaming her face off because she was thirty kinds of pissed at me, Sofia was outside in the dog pen, naked except for her rain boots and a cardigan and the new recipe I tried was not working out and the food was sticking to the pan and smoking up my kitchen.  The crying was making my chest tight, the food sticking was pissing me off and Sofia was out in the dog pen.  Where the dog poops.  Those are the moments where I really miss having an extra set of hands and I curse solo parenting, because there's no one to holler to go get Sofia or to pick up the baby or to help with dinner.  It's all me, all the time.

I turned the heat down, grabbed Andrea and ran out to bring Sofia inside.  

"Hi Mommy!  I need pants!"

"I see that.  Can you please come inside?  Dinner's going to be ready soon."

"Uh, no thanks.  I'm good."  The things my kid says sometimes...

"Sweetheart I really need you to come inside.  You don't have pants on and dinner's almost ready.  I'll let you watch TV!"  *sinking to bribery*

I opened the gate to let her out and of course she takes off running across the yard, so I have to awkwardly chase her with the baby in my arms and trying to grab her - when did she get so fast?  It took forever to get her back inside and by some miracle dinner wasn't ruined and actually tasted pretty good.  Of course, Sofia wanted none of it and had chips and cheese for dinner. 

And we weren't meltdown-free either.  Banging on the keyboard of Mommy's computer is the most fun ever so of course when I told her to stop and took the computer away, well, that was cause for Tantrum #1.  I got a bonus meltdown at bathtime - apparently, when Sofia puts marker over her entire body, backside too, I'm supposed to leave it there for all eternity, not wash it off.  Silly Mommy.

Mom, this is my Look.

I'm not joking when I say that the child had marker on every square inch of her body, and it took her less than five minutes while I finished dinner.  Again, extra hands would've been nice but I guess I just have to be thankful that it was just marker and it was just on her, not the walls.  Once again, I put Andrea in her bouncy chair while Sofia got her bath and once she was in the water, she was fine.  What is it about these kids?  You'd have thought I was trying to put her in boiling lava, yet three minutes later she's splashing around "I'm swimming like a shark Mom!  Look at me go!"  Even Andrea was okay in her chair - I think she liked watching Sofia in the water and I'm really looking forward to putting the two of them in the bath together and watching them play.

Even bedtime was much smoother than Wednesday night and we settled fairly quickly.  Unfortunately, Sofia had a bit of a stuffy nose and couldn't get comfortable. "Mom my nose is broken! Fix it!"  And then Andrea chimed in with a most impressive middle of the night poop which is why I'm awake.  I got them settled back down and asleep but now I can't sleep.  

Honestly though, it's nice to be able to write.  It's nice to get this moment to myself and while I'm sure I'm going to pay for this in the morning when I'm zombie tired, I'm enjoying it now.

Rest in motion.  Just because it never stops, just because the job is 24-7, there will be moments of peace.  Just watch for them and be present when they happen and you'll be able to keep going.  

That's what works for me anyway.  

Peace, my friends.