Vacation. Hiatus. Whatever you want to call it, just not blogcation - that's lame.

I haven't been completely honest.  That's not like me, because I've been nothing but honest in my writing.  It's kind of my thing.  Yet, here I am - something of a hypocrite?  That's kind of a strong word, I think.  Look, I just haven't been honest but it hasn't been on purpose.


I haven't really had writer's block.  I haven't really been suffering from a lack of things to write about. I just have found these things to be too personal to write about them here.  Imagine that - me finding something too personal too share.  In an effort to divert my own thoughts from these intensely personal things I've been thinking and feeling and living, I turned to you for help.  Of course, you didn't know that's what you were doing but just the same I am immensely grateful for the distraction.  And I'm happy that I could provide you with more stories.  That's my thing too - telling stories.  I like doing it and I'm so very pleased and grateful that you like hearing them.


Unfortunately, these things, these 10,000 things, have grown too loud for me to ignore.  I realized it when I was going through my photo albums looking for pictures of me as a flight attendant so I could come to you today and tell you the stories.  But I couldn't do it - these things are just too strong.  It's kind of hard to go on about your business in the midst of an earthquake.  It's hard to pretend when your house is crumbling around you.  And I'm so very sorry, but this is far too personal to even tell the story.  


I didn't have a purpose when I began this blog.  I was bored at work, I've always liked to write and that was the extent of the thought I put into it - in the beginning.  Over time it grew as I grew, as my life grew.  I just never thought it would get to a  place where my husband would rather read my blog than talk to me or ask me what I'm thinking or feeling.  I never dreamed that I would get so good at expressing myself through writing that he would find it easier to come here rather than come to me.


I don't like that.  


I feel like I've caught a peeping Tom - which is completely asinine I know.  Hundreds of you read what I write each day (Google Analytics tells me so), yet I get only a handful of comments on my posts.  And that doesn't bother me - it never did.  


But this is different.  It feels different.  And I don't like it.


I'm sad about it - I love to write.  I love sharing, I love connecting.  I've found kindred souls here and I have made true friends.  But I have to take a break.  Real life always trumps storytelling and I have some business to attend to.  


Thank you for understanding and I hope to be back soon.