The thing about parties

What is it about special occasions that make us crazy?  Everything has to be just so or it's all ruined.  Weddings, birthdays, even Valentine's Day.  It must be storybook and I'm part of the club.  I was so stressed over the details and was overly concerned with what people would think, that it wasn't until just now that it hit me that I got to have a baby shower.  Me.  The one who lost babies.  The one who didn't think it would ever happen.  I'd sort of made my peace with things and then there I was, in a room full of people there to celebrate my victory.  Of course, the majority of people there didn't know what I'd gone through and that's okay.  Some knew and they knew how much it meant to me to have them there and how much it meant to have this party.


My baby shower was perfect.  My  mother and my cousin were champions.  They worked so hard to put things together, they put up with me and my craziness and I am so lucky to be blessed with such great family.  My brother took pictures and even though this was his first shower and he's not a professional photographer, he did an amazing job and I'm so grateful to him.  My dad did all the heavy lifting and put up with all of us and for that he should get a medal!  It was an intense whirlwind weekend but it was so incredibly worth it!  

Cori, Heather and Brandi made it and I was so ridiculously happy to see all of them!  Cori works weekends and she took time from her schedule to be there!  I could have cried when I saw her face!  And Heather!!  We met through Cori and have hit it off so well!  Don't you love it when you make a new girlfriend and it just clicks?  Heather is that girl for me - I don't even know if she knows how much I admire her.  Brandi and I have been thick as thieves since high school and she is one of those people that has gotten more awesome with age.  She is the kindest person, yet is fierce when it comes to her friends.  I got to go to her wedding, we hung out at Christmas and she made it to my shower!  This is my favorite picture.

Well wait, this one could be my favorite.  My mother is the most amazing, patient person alive.  She did everything I asked, didn't snap back at me when I was being hormonal and crazy, and she worked so hard.  Gah, I'm getting choked up.  I love my mommy so much.

Then there's my dad. My dad is a born public speaker.  When I was talking to everyone and thanking them for coming, he couldn't resist and had to get up and put in a word.  The pride was practically jumping off of him and he could barely contain himself.  He can be a handful but he always redeems himself by being so freakin charming.  Kinda like me.

And my cousin. My fabulous wonderful, resourceful cousin.  We've become so close over the years and I feel like we have a sisterly bond.  And she's the older sister.  She already has kids so I'm constantly calling her for advice and just to talk.  I cherish her and I'm so glad we're family. She had all the ideas for the decorations and put in so much time and effort while being an awesome mother to her girls.  (PS though - could someone have told me about my hair?  Gollee!)

Saying thank you and I love you, although those words are poor representations 

for the depth of gratitude I felt that day.

Her youngest daughter

Her oldest daughter and my other cousin's daughter.  She's six

and during the party she slipped me a note that said

"Im having the tim of my life."

I could have died.

You can zoom in on this picture to see how the centerpieces came out.  Unfortunately, I was so overcome with gratitude that my brother agreed to take the pictures that I gave him no direction as to what to shoot.  I didn't want to come across bossy and ungrateful but as he told me later, he'd never done this before and could have used the direction.  I was upset but I can say now that it's okay.

The lady with the gray hair is my old daycare teacher.  When you're a kid, you usually latch on to someone other than your parents, whether you admire them or maybe you have your first crush on them.  Miss Saundra was my person.  I was in awe of her.  She used to have jet black hair, she wore the prettiest clothes and she always smelled good.  I loved going to daycare because I got to see my Miss Saundra.  I thought she was sooo beautiful and all these years later she came to my baby shower.  I gave her the biggest rib-crushing hug when I saw her and I was so humbled and grateful to see her.

They wrote in the books y'all!  I have 28 books with personal sentiments to my daughter and me! I can't wait to read to her and share the notes that people wrote to her before she was born!  I haven't even gotten to read all of the books yet - we packed everything in boxes and my cousin and her best friend are bringing everything down in the next couple of weeks.  I can't wait to go through all of them!

And then there was the cake.  My mother chose the cake for my wedding reception and although it was wonderful, I wanted to choose this one.  I met with the lady, told her about my preferences, showed her what I wanted and she delivered!  It was so yummy!  Super fruity, not too sugary and it was beautiful!

The wheels of the carriage actually worked.  

We didn't realize that until it rolled right off the disk into the frosting!

We had three candles at the cake table for the three babies that came before her.  I didn't tell anyone or make any kind of announcement, but they were there and it made me happy to see them.

And so yeah, that's my daughter's name.  I was going to blur out the picture but you know what?  She's here.  She's a person and she has a name.  Drew actually named her and as soon as he said it I knew that was it.  That was her name and it was perfect.  I wanted to have that big announcement moment where I write the post with her name in the title and I'll do that with her middle name, I suppose.  Because she has a name, she's a person and she will be here soon.

So how about a shot of the big pregnant girl?

I wore black tights and my sexy boots and I thought I looked cute.  I had an orange wrap that I brought but with the running around and the hot flashes I was plenty comfortable without it.  However, that will be it for me and the sexy boots.  I couldn't walk for most of the next day because my back was so sore.  I was fine until I wasn't and boy I wasn't!  The only problem is, completely flat shoes make my feet swell and that's just one step away from cankles! 

Drew's mom sent a box to the shower and I opened her gifts first.  She included Drew's first crib toy and a mountain of clothes for the baby!  This little girl already has more clothes than I do!  Mama Karen had three brothers and two sons so she's super ready for a girl!  She would have liked the shower and I'm sad she couldn't be there.

She made these cute little hats that looked like cupcakes and they were adorable!

Reading the note she included

Mama Karen got enthusiastic with her shopping!

Opening the gifts was a little awkward for me.  I haven't opened that many gifts in my life.  I was so humbled by everyone's generosity and I kinda felt unworthy.  I didn't really want to sit there and open presents but my mom insisted, saying that was part of baby showers.  So I went ahead, but I tried to say something about each person giving me the gifts so everyone else got an idea of who they were and why they were important to me.  I only got choked up when I talked about Heather and Cori but I didn't cry!  I didn't cry talking about Brandi because when I look at her I'm back in high school causing trouble and having fun doing it!

Because that's the thing about parties.  It shouldn't be about the food, decorations or the pictures.  And yes, I stressed over all those things - way too much.  Parties are about people.  They're about connection, happiness and love.  If you think someone is going to talk under their breath about your food or your decorations, they shouldn't be invited to your party.  

I could have planned everything down to the smallest detail.  I could have hired a party planner, a professional photographer, a fancy caterer and a 'Cake Boss' baker.  It would have been nice, but it definitely wasn't necessary.  The shower was perfect just as it was, even with me tearing it apart the next day, obsessing over all the things I should have done better. 

But that's the thing about parties.  If you do it right, all you remember is the love.  And that's the way it should be.

Feeling her kick and stretch - she's everywhere!

There's a whole lot of people who can't wait to meet you, little baby.