How I don't mind being pregnant, but I really really mind being helpless. Twice now I've gotten stuck on the floor because I got down on my hands and knees and couldn't get back up.
How I wish I could use my abs again and every time I just try to test it, the baby reminds me that the torso area is her space, not mine and will give me swift jab in the side just in case I try to do anything silly like lift myself off the sofa.
How the pee pressure is no longer pressure, it's pee pain. If it weren't happening to me, it would be kind of funny to watch me shuffle and hunch my way to the bathroom at four in the morning because it hurts so bad, and then see me walking out like a normal human being just a couple of minutes later.
How I wish I could lift heavy things, get on ladders, sweat my brains out in a yoga class and run till my heart feels like it'll pound out of my chest. I don't believe in punishing my body but man, just for a day, I wish I didn't have to treat myself *so* softly.
But then there are other things...
I'm down to weekly appointments at the doctor, which means I'm almost done!
Yesterday I spent a good ten minutes just sitting quietly, stroking my belly and thinking good thoughts about my baby. The house was quiet and for just a moment, I could almost pretend there was no one else in the world but me and my baby. That was really nice. She was making swishy movements that made me think of a little mermaid. I think we bonded a little bit.
I'm so excited to hold her and smell her and look at her face. I wonder what she'll look like.
I hope she likes me.
I so hear you!!! I have been rather surprised that it isn't so much that I'm large and that's why it is hard to get up off the floor or from laying down, but that my abs just no longer work. I thought it was size that was the problem. I really, really miss having abdominal muscles too. Hopefully those won't take too long to at least get back to normal functioning.
ReplyDeleteAnd pee pain -- yes! My little M likes to squoosh her head up against my urethra which hurts like a sharp stab. Takes my breath away. Between the urethra squoosh, the have-to-pee pain, and the loosened up public symphysis, there is a lot going on in an are I used to not pay much attention to.
Do you still have to do your daily shots or is that part past?
I think it is great that you took the time to just sit and think about you and the baby and your future life together. Time flies by so fast and it just seems to happen to you that you don't know where it all went. I took my daughter to the movies yesterday just her and I and it made me think how much I appreciate children's movies but also how I hope we will be able to go to adult movies years from now and have that time just to us.
ReplyDeletei recommend you write down everything so that you dont forget how it all happened..tape it all..
ReplyDeleteI've been reading and not commenting as much ( I know I know) but Im so happy for you!! I remember those last few weeks/days.... I just wanted my body back! :)
ReplyDeletexoxoxo
RO
Who wouldn't like having such a beautiful, fabulous mama???
ReplyDeleteUmmm I am four months and have the pee pain already?? WTF? And I get up at night every hour. THKS!!!!
I am with you, the helpless feeling sucks. My husband flips out because I continue to try and carry things but when he's not home what am I to do??
:-)
ReplyDeleteWell, the smiley is just for the last half of the post. Boo to the first part.
Gem
She'll more than like you Des.... she's going to LOVE her mommy! I hear you on the getting stuck. There have been many times where I'm calling over to Adam for help because I can't get off of the floor. And hells yea on the weekly appts. I'm going every 2 weeks now. Home stretch here we come!
ReplyDeleteOh... and HAPPY HAPPY birthday to my best friend from high school. Love ya lots girl!
She will LOVE you. And she will be stunning.
ReplyDeleteOf course she'll love you! You will be a fantastic mom and don't even think twice about that. Enjoy your these last weeks and let it serve as your calm before the baby comes and you wonder where all this time went ;)
ReplyDeleteHope you had a great birthday and I good Dallas baby shower!
*sigh* your blog hates me! Lol it picks and chooses which comments from me it wants to posts.
ReplyDeleteWhat I had said was. . . Lol. . . I remember when I was preg with my daughter the best bonding time was sitting in our glider and watching her move around. I would talk to her and watch her reaction. Helped me fall in love with her even more.
I so hear you!!! I have been rather surprised that it isn't so much that I'm large and that's why it is hard to get up off the floor or from laying down, but that my abs just no longer work. I thought it was size that was the problem. I really, really miss having abdominal muscles too. Hopefully those won't take too long to at least get back to normal functioning.
ReplyDeleteAnd pee pain -- yes! My little M likes to squoosh her head up against my urethra which hurts like a sharp stab. Takes my breath away. Between the urethra squoosh, the have-to-pee pain, and the loosened up public symphysis, there is a lot going on in an are I used to not pay much attention to.
Do you still have to do your daily shots or is that part past?