I've nursed until my nerps feel like they're going to fall off. I've rocked her, I've not rocked her, I've rubbed her back, I turn on the fan for white noise, I turn off the fan so the noise won't keep her awake, I've sung the lullabies, I've shhh'd her until my lips are numb and nothing works. She'll nurse until she falls asleep and the second I put her in the crib, it's as though a signal is sent to her body that as soon as she's horizontal, it's time to cry.
I don't know if she's teething, she's hungry, she's going through separation anxiety, or if it's something else. I don't believe in crying it out, but I've had to leave her room while she's crying because I'm at my wit's end and I just have to get some distance so I can gather myself and keep my patience.
It's terrible and I don't have the slightest clue what to do. I know her cries and they're not cries of sadness and desperation. They're cries of 'I'm tired and I don't know how to go back to sleep.' Which of course makes me feel even worse because I don't know how to 'teach' her to go back to sleep on her own.
She's on a great schedule - she took two great naps today, ate plenty of food and she has an earlier bedtime. I was putting her to bed at 8 but that was NOT working so we started our bedtime routine at 7 which was like magic. I can get her to bed in less than twenty minutes.
The first time.
It's the second time that kills me. She wakes up around two and half hours after she goes down and that's it. As I write this, it took a solid hour to get her to calm down and go back to sleep. Sixty minutes of rocking, singing, nursing and crying. Her, not me. Almost me.
I'm frickin lost.
I have to write so I don't scream. What am I doing wrong?
I wish I knew! My son is 6 months old and doing the same thing. In our bed he sleeps fine; in his crib, I can get 3 hours at a max. Why does teaching them to put themselves back to sleep feel so difficult!? I hope it gets better for you and Sofia soon.
ReplyDeleteUgh, that sucks. I have no idea what to say. :( Stella doesn't stay up for a long time in the middle of the night, but she does wake up OFTEN. Good luck...
ReplyDeleteD, I bet you're not doing anything wrong. This is just one of those real life experiences that I bet tons of parents deal with. Sofia is good, you are good, it's just something that happens that one day you will tell her all about ("girl, when you were a baby you would NOT go to sleep!"). No worries!! and call me if you need someone to talk to and keep you company! :-)
ReplyDeleteIt is NOT you. She's changing and growing. Usually when my little guy does that (two nights ago) and I almost lose it (in fact, calling my husband in saying, "i'm gonna lose it"), the next night he develops a fever and we realize he was sick. We're not cry it out people, but what I've come to realize is that his sleep habits change ever 4-5 weeks. We make it work for us when he changed. What I DO know is that no matter what we try, he does what his body needs to do. Hang in there, mama. I know this isn't too comforting, but at 19 months he just started sleeping well for us (except of course when he sick). We still have two more sets of teeth to come in so I'm appreciating it while it lasts.
ReplyDeleteAwww I'm sorry - hang in there! I know you don't want to hear this, but sometimes letting a little one cry for a while can be a good thing. Yes, it sucks to hear them cry. But I've found that if you give them too much attention in the middle of the night they start expecting it. My little girl kept waking up to nurse in the middle of the night (she's 10 months old) because she was teething and kept wanting to suck. I kept nursing her, so she kept waking up more and more, expecting to nurse. I started getting tired of waking up 3-4 times a night and so I finally just let her cry a couple nights (I sleep in the same room with her, so she was still being closely monitored - it wasn't a full-out, all night screamfest or anything). Fast forward two days later and she doesn't wake up at all. Of course, you know what's best for your little girl, but we found that letting her cry a little bit helped all around; now we all sleep much better! Hope that helps, just my two cents. :)
ReplyDelete:( I don't have any advice for you, but I'm sending the best wishes possible your way!!
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain. I have been there. I have had to lay the kid on the bed and walk away or give to hubby and say your turn. Does she have another tooth coming in? Our son has been a crank butt last couple of days, low and behold he has a little tooth just braking the surface. I try to think of his pain when I am hour two of trying to get him to sleep. Thinking of his pain also relaxes my muscles thus I feel calmer to him. Hope it gets better soon!!
ReplyDeleteWhen my kids were that age they went through a similar phase. I ended up bringing baby back into our bed for a few weeks until they worked through it. I'd nurse them lying down until they fell asleep, then I'd sneak off and leave them in my bed sleeping, and get back in when it was my bedtime. Not ideal, but it kept me sane... Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear that this is going on. You are an excellent mommy, there is nothing wrong with you or her. She may simply be teething again as another suggested. If you don't think its teething, if I can suggest anything, I would say maybe adjust her activity schedule - because as someone else stated she is now growing and changing. Increase her activity - take her outside in your beautiful yard or to the park or one of those places where she can become active and get her energy out somewhat after or before lunch. Maybe you could pull out your stroller and take a 20-30 minute minute walk in the morning with her after bkfst. Perhaps you could try a routine to prepare her for nap time - read a story to her, maybe play a song for her, take off her shoes, get her favorite stuffed animal etc. that she can have when she lays down for nap time. One of my friends actually put together a sleepy time pillow for her son and she placed it wherever in the house she happened to be and he just laid on it so he could see her and he went to sleep. It was THAT important that he saw her until he knocked about - and she would cut everything off - no noise - and made sure she was in his view. Put on one of those crazy kid show tapes and dance around with her for a hour or two to burn off more of her energy before lunch, after lunch or after a nap. Just throwing some things out here for you to try. I know you are tired. Keep your head up! This too will pass. I promise.
ReplyDeleteAaawww, poor Mommy! lol...I have an 11 year old, 4 year old, and 3 year old. It may not be the case, but it seems as if she's used to being next to you, so that's what she expects. Experts recommend by this time that she should be basically going to sleep on her own. But we all know each baby is different. However, as long as you continue to hold her close and rock her to sleep, she's definitely going to continue to expect that. You're probably going to have to make some tough decisions on her sleeping pattern as far as it concerns how you're going to get her to sleep from this point forward. If you want to continue to be a "slave" to your baby (we all do it at some point, so it's quite understandable), then continue to do what you're doing. If you want to be "free" then at some point, you're going to have to get her to be more independent or you will go bald......from pulling your hair out due to NMP disease. NMP=No More Patience, lol. Seriously though, this is just my experience and it may not work for you. P.S. I didn't do the "cry it out" method either, mainly because my kids wouldn't stop even if I tried....and my patience has never been that long. I just found a way to make them more independent and not depend on me so much for things, such as falling asleep. It takes a bunch of trial and error to get the right fit for you. Hope you find something that works soon because I KNOW how it goes. I had my third child (my daughter) when my son was about 10 1/2 months old. Sooooo, yea.....I totally feel your pain. lol
ReplyDeletethere will be LOTS of suggestions. some may work, some may not. But let's get one thing straight, you are not doing anything WRONG. Sleep is going to come and go depending on varying factors but this WILL PASS. You will get through this moment. It's cliche I'm sure, but they don't stay this age forever. =) The method I liked the most came from reading "No cry sleep solution". Maybe this is something you can read and help figure out a rhythm for you both. You're doing a great job mama. I commend you for taking the safe breaks from her to help you keep your frustrations to yourself and not directed at her.
ReplyDeleteMads has started to do this too, but at 4am. i was up from 4:15 until 6am this morning until her daddy finally stepped up. For some reason I suggested that he give her a banana. the weird thing? it worked! she took two bites and fell rightto sleep. go freakin figure... babies are weird.
ReplyDeleteMy son is almost 5 months (on the 15th). He has started to do this. I am anti CIO method also. My best advice, (although, i probably could take my own)...is to send hubby in. I think my son is smelling my milk, and wants to nurse to go back to sleep. I know he isnt' hungry...but if my hubby goes in---he knows we mean business! Sending you lots of *SLEEP VIBES* your way. Hopefully this too will pass! Please post how you fixed this issue, since i'm battling it myself!
ReplyDeletethanks.
http://canny-cole.blogspot.com/
My DD is almost 14 mths and does this sometimes- it usually takes 1.5 he's to get her to that limp limb stage so I can put her back down. It doesn't happen every night, not even every other but when it does it sucks!
ReplyDeleteIt's usually between 3 and 5 am for us and that is not a time when I'm at my most patient. CIO makes her get frantic (I tried...) so we just rock and wait. She's not hungry or crying, she just wants me to hold her and rock. Usually a few days later I notice a new tooth or skill like walking, new word, etc so I guess it has a purpose but it's still not fun. I just try to remember she's only little once and to take it one night at a time. Hang in there!
Oops, that should say 1.5 hours, not he's. Doh!
DeleteMy DD is almost 14 mths and does this sometimes- it usually takes 1.5 he's to get her to that limp limb stage so I can put her back down. It doesn't happen every night, not even every other but when it does it sucks!
ReplyDeleteIt's usually between 3 and 5 am for us and that is not a time when I'm at my most patient. CIO makes her get frantic (I tried...) so we just rock and wait. She's not hungry or crying, she just wants me to hold her and rock. Usually a few days later I notice a new tooth or skill like walking, new word, etc so I guess it has a purpose but it's still not fun. I just try to remember she's only little once and to take it one night at a time. Hang in there!