Back to normal

Hey you know what?

where I found it

I had all these plans of posting all last week and then I got struck down by the plague.  Not the plague plague.  The other plague - the winter cold.  Yeah, because it makes perfect sense to get a winter cold in the spring.  Well, it does when you live in the stupid Northeast that doesn't know if it's winter or spring from one day to the next.

I ventured outside yesterday, for the first time all week, and these little beauties were poking their precious heads up out of the ground.

Only to be destroyed, decimated, obliterated by the 

stupid, stupid, stupidfuckingsnow.

I hate winter.

Four seasons are dumb.  All you really need are three, tops.  Winter doesn't need to be its own season.  A week or two of snow is plenty to allow for everything to die, so it can be reborn, blah blah blah F You, NATURE.

Because winter is also when people get sick, and I was sick all last week and you know what happens to the house when the mom is sick?  I'll tell you what happens - the entire world ends.  Everything goes to crap and it stays that way until the mom is better and then she gets to pick up the pieces.

And I can just hear my husband's righteous indignation all the way from his office, because he did stuff while I laid in bed on Saturday and prayed for the sweet sweet release of death.  And yeah sure, he did stuff.  But there's a pile of laundry (yeahsurefine, it's clean) that has my name all over it.  That sink full of dirty dishes from the dinner he so graciously prepared?  All me, buddy.  Of course, poor Sofia is sick too and her poor little nose has been replaced with a snot faucet, but that doesn't stop her from wanting to nurse.  Actually, it's probably the only thing that gave her relief so she climbed into bed with me and nursed my coughing, hacking, snot-faced corpse.  How's that for some imagery!  

Because that's what happened.  Everywhere I was, there she was.  Nursing.  Never in my life have I wished for her to be weaned more than in that moment.  I wanted nothing more than to take an industrial-sized dose of Nyquil, sleep until I didn't hurt anymore, and wake up all better.  But when you have a kid?  HA frickin HA to that noise.  Drew's meager attempts to distract her so I could rest were nothing compared to the allure that my deflated pancake tits have for my kid.

Sorry about that last image - I guess I'm keeping it extra real today.  I'll button it back up and be sweet and nice for the next post, but I'm kinda cranky right now because I haven't stopped coughing for four days and I'm fucking sick of coughing and good effing god, how much snot can one nose make?!

Today, my hair no longer hurts, I can go a full minute without coughing, but now it's 'pick up the pieces' time.  Time to get back to the routine.  Re-entry into this atmosphere is hella bumpy and I'm pissed that this stupid winter cold got me off course.  I run this house and this kid and when I'm not at the helm, well, we just start spinning into outer space until I come back.  I don't like it - I wish things could be seamless, that Drew could just step into my shoes and things stay smooth.  I wish I could hand over the reins and lay in bed and pray to die while he handles everything until I come back from the dead.  But unfortunately, it's not like that.  Sick or not, I'm the primary caregiver and as great as Daddy is, he's just the substitute until Mommy and her Boobies come back and they better be back soon.    

But I'm better and I guess that's all that matters.  I have the energy to fold the laundry, the sink is empty and the dishwasher is going.  Pretty Ricky and I spent some time together and Sofia's napping.  The ship has reset its course and we're back on track.

I'm thinking the people with the masks might not be so out there after all.

Although, the site where I got this said there's no point in

any preventive measures because you're going to get sick anyway.

We're doomed.  Doomed!

PS, I watched a crap-ton of Big Bang while I was sick, hence the Star Trek spaceship metaphors.  Plus, I love Big Bang.

Okay, but now that I'm better, I have like ten posts in draft that I'm hoping to write this week.  It's time to get back to it people!

Enough about me, how are you?  I hope you haven't been sick.  Please tell me you've been doing more interesting things than trying to cough up a lung and wipe a never-ending snot trail from your/your kid's nose.  

Tell me something magical!