It's about Sofia and her education.
As much as I wanted to have Sofia hold a little chalkboard that
said "My First Day of Preschool", this was the best I could
do because the kid would not hold still.
A while back, I wrote about Sofia's school and how I was disappointed in the quality of their 'teaching.' To be fair, it was a glorified church nursery and Sofia loved her teachers and that definitely counts for something. But I wanted more for her, so I looked around and found a school that had more of a curriculum-based structure with an emphasis on the arts, and Sofia started her new school a couple of weeks ago.
At orientation, I got my first clue that this was going to be more serious when the teacher referred to herself by her last name. At the old school, her teachers were Miss Michelle, Miss MaryAnn, Miss Stephanie. At the new school, her teachers are Mrs. Smith and Mrs. Jones (not their real names.) It's a small thing, but I sat up a little straighter nonetheless. Mrs. Smith outlined her goals and expectations for the kids - no such thing at the old school. There was a curriculum and schedule to each day. This was the real deal and I found myself getting nervous for Sofia. Would she be able to cut it? Would this be too much structure? Would she buckle under the pressure?
The first day I stayed with her while she got acclimated to the classroom. All us parents alternated standing around and playing with our respective children. We were also sizing each other up and barely hiding it. I was doing it too - I compared my outfit to the other moms, making sure I was striking the right tone. Casual, but not sloppy; you want to look put together but they look sideways at you if you go overboard, and I think I passed. Sofia also had an appropriate outfit on too, one that I purchased just before the first day because at the last minute I decided that nothing in her closet would be acceptable for the first day of school.
She could have cared less.
She was busy checking out the joint and making sure the babies were fed.
And this bottle feeding thing? I never taught her this and I have no idea
where it came from, but it sure is adorable.
After that first day, we were no longer allowed in the classroom. You drop the kid off at the door and the teacher brings them out at the end of the day. That was far more traumatizing to me than Sofia - I felt like I was abandoning her, and walking away while she cried was incredibly hard. Yet, the first day she cried, the second time she whimpered and the third time she walked right in without a backwards glance.
I'm happy with this school, Sofia seems happy, but I couldn't help but wonder if there was more out there that I should be researching. And boy howdy, welcome to the rabbit hole.
Apparently, preschool is right up there with college admissions and I had no idea. I mean, I knew but I didn't know. You've got your teaching philosophies - Montessori vs. Waldof vs. Reggio Emilia. Then you've got your homeschooling and unschooling. They've made movies about the preschool process - trip out on that shit because this preschool thing is no joke. I started looking around and found a Spanish Immersion Waldorf-based program that now I'm convinced my kid has to be in, or she's going to end up picking up garbage on the highway for the rest of her life.
This is not the face of a highway garbage collector.
But the Spanish school is 30 minutes away. It's a 9am-1:30 setup versus the two hours she's in school now. And if I do Spanish immersion in preschool, then I have to find a Spanish immersion kindergarten, because what's the point of doing it in preschool if you're not going to follow through? And what about math and science based programs? Math and science are super important, but so is the arts - she must have exposure to the arts! And sports! She needs physical activity, she needs to learn teamwork, discipline, and whatever the heck else you get from sports that you don't get from other stuff.
And how do you tell which philosophy is right for your kid? Maybe I'm just behind and I know nothing, but I can't really tell how Sofia learns. She seems to absorb everything in every way. We play with blocks so she can learn spatial reasoning, cause and effect (building and knocking down), we paint and play with playdoh to stimulate the artsy creative part of her brain, we read because reading is fundamental (!), and she seems to like it all. I can't point to any one thing and be like Sofia likes to do things with her hands or Sofia is a visual learner. All I can say at this point is Sofia is an awesome kid.
I read somewhere, and of course I can't find it right now, that the education philosophy at this young age doesn't matter. No one can really find a measurable difference between any of the teaching methods to clearly say one is better than the other. But still, you have to choose something. Even by not choosing anything and just putting them in the school around the corner because it's around the corner is making a choice.
I just want to do right by her, I want to give her the best opportunity for success, and what parent doesn't? And I know that the kid matters more than the school, that brain surgeons can come out of inner city schools and delinquents can come out of the best boarding schools. I also know you can have awesome teachers in crap schools and crap teachers in awesome schools, which really doesn't help when you're trying to narrow stuff down. *sigh*
It's important to me that Sofia learn Spanish, but that's my personal story. I speak Spanish and French because I have an affinity for languages. I didn't learn them until high school, but I loved it so much I got my degree in it; I see it as a gift and I want to give that to my daughter. I want to introduce her in preschool to the love that I found in high school. I love that I can understand other languages and it has undoubtedly enriched my understanding of English and I want the same for my daughter. If I was all about math and science or sports or arts or dance, I'd have the same feelings and would be researching the preschool versions of MIT or Julliard.
But do I want to start the craziness that is 'getting ready for school in the morning' at three years old? Going to a school that is 30 minutes away means an early-ass morning for us, and we all know Mama's not so great in the morning. Right now, Sofia is doing so well sleeping through the night, and when she wakes up at 7:30, she gets in bed with me and we cuddle for another half hour. That time is priceless and I'm not so keen on giving that up just yet. Granted, if she goes to the Spanish school, she wouldn't start until next fall. Which is another trip, because if I want her to go there I have to start getting my shit together like yesterday. I have to fill out admission paperwork for my three year old, and possibly put her on the waiting list to ensure she has a spot. It's madness, you guys.
I am also fully aware that freaking out over an education path is a privilege, and that so many right here at home don't have options and don't have access to quality education. That's why I feel even more strongly that I have to make the right choice with my privilege; I don't want to squander what others would give their left pinky toe to have.
I wasn't ready to think about this; I'm not ready to jump into this ring, and I suppose I don't necessarily have to. I guess I could homeschool or unschool her, although I have no idea how either of those work. I could leave her where she is until kindergarten and put her in the assigned public school in our district and pray for the best (not that I wouldn't be praying for the best no matter where I send her.) I'm just so passionate about education; I believe knowledge is power and I want to set her up with the best possible chances for success.
All I want, and probably all any parent wants is to give their kid the best shot they can with the resources they have and pray that their kid leads a good and happy life.
In the meantime, I'm just going to be over here, brushing up on my, I mean Sofia's essay-writing skills.
I haven't figured out the preschool thing yet because I need two full days -- not five full days, not three half days, not even four half days, but two full days. I think that will inform our decision more than anything, unfortunately.
ReplyDeleteThe preschool that I was pretty excited about is one that I'm not so excited about any more -- one of the things they stressed when I visited is "positive discipline" which I'm actually totally on board with and I try to practice gentle parenting, but they also said they try not to say "no." I try not to say "no" all the time, but I definitely tell my son "no" sometimes...I mean, it's inevitable, right? So I think they're a bit too hippy for me. There's other things about those types of people that make me uncomfortable about taking my son there, so I don't really know what we'll do about preschool yet. :(
As far as kindergarten through, say, junior high, I was talking to a friend who sent both of her kids to the local private school and she said she didn't realize how important it was to have friends in the neighborhood who go to the same school. If she had it to do all over again, she said she would send them to the local school, not the private school. Since parental involvement is the biggest predictor of a child's success in school, it is far less important that the school be great than that parents just be involved. With that said, I do think junior high/high school can be important if your child is on a particular track and needs to go to the school across town for that area of focus (say, art or workshop or pre-med or whatever), so at that point we'll re-evaluate where my son is going to school and where he'll be the best served in regards to his education.
It can definitely be overwhelming to think about, but I take comfort in the fact that all the research shows that the kids who go to amazing pre-schools might start school a little ahead of their peers, but by 2nd grade (I think that's the year they say?) the "benefit" is gone. However, it's often the parents who care enough to worry about the schools who are also the ones who are involved with their kids and reading to them and teaching them through interaction... so ya, the best thing you can do is just BE PRESENT when you're home with your kid, and they will learn from you.
ReplyDeleteI live in a tiny town where we have a Montessori school (prohibitively expensive) and a public school (which thankfully is a great school), so in a way it's a blessing to not have so many choices I guess. :)
Firstly, allow me to comment on how friggin KA-YUTE those pics of Sofia are! Especially loving the third photo in which she looks like a cultured and inspired *artiste* [dans un accent Francais], interrupted in a moment of creativity.
ReplyDeleteEarly-childhood education anxieties and pressures are CRAY CRAY these days. And yes, living in an increasingly competitive world doesn't make it any easier. Whatever you and the hubs decide, I agree with the first two commenters - one of the many keys to a successful education is positive parental involvement. I don't mean micro-managing every assignment and attending every single field trip - I would NOT want to be that kid - but rather being fully present and supportive, and supplementing their education beyond/in-addition-to what's learned in school. I think the Spanish immersion program sounds great (I'm also multi-lingual and love languages, which I hope to share with my children), but agree it's not worth upending precious mommy-and-me morning cuddling (they grow up so fast!). Given your passion for education, I'm sure you'll make the most of wherever Sofia ends up because that's what parents who want the best for their kids do, no matter the circumstance! Note, this is coming from someone whose entire education was spent in NYC public schools, with uninvolved parents, and limited resources...and gah-damnit, I think I made it out better than "a-okay." You're on the right track thus far, keep going!
My advice (take it or leave it): don't do the spanish school. seriously, as much as it's a great opportunity, don't add it to your plate. Sofia will be totally fine even if you just hang out at home and play with blocks and dig up bugs in the back yard. I'm a bit old-school because I grew up in a place (rural Minnesota) where the concept of preschool curriculum would draw a blank stare. You just went to kindergarten when you were 5 and that's about it. And you spent a lot of time playing outside, relatively unsupervised.
ReplyDeleteEven in my small town here, there are mostly church-run preschools and one Montessori preschool. (Guess where all the university faculty send their kids???) We skipped out entirely and Zari isn't behind at all.
Just enjoy life, don't worry about all these things yet.