Death by jellyfish

While most of our Hilton Head vacation was really wonderful, there was one part that wasn't so great.  It was the part where I almost died. 

Don't be fooled.  There's death in these waters.

It turns out that Sofia was the only smart one in our little group.  She wanted nothing to do with the ocean and that was probably the smartest choice.  It's always better when you can see the bottom and edges of the body of water where you're about to surrender your body.  But no one ever listens to the toddler.  Nooooo.  Every single day, we'd try and get her to go down to the ocean and every single day, she'd grab our hands and pull us back saying "NO Mommy!  I wanna go to the pooooool!"

The last few days of our vacation, Nate and Julie drove down from Charlotte to join us at the beach.  Sofia is in love with her Auntie Julie and Uncle Nate and it was purely because of them that we were able to get Sofia to come down to the beach on our very last day.

"Hurry!  Take a picture before she wants to go back to the pool!

We need proof we were actually at the beach!"

Auntie Julie has the magic touch.

Then I set the phone down, we took off our cover ups and we all headed into the water.  I held Sofia for a little while and then handed her off to Drew and we all just lounged in the ocean.  Sofia ended up having a really good time, shouting out "Here comes a big one!" every time the waves would come in.  The water was warm, the weather was nice and we were all about waist high in the water.  Drew was holding Sofia, Nate and Julie and I were all nearby, and we were just enjoying our last day of vacation.

Out of nowhere, Drew yell-screamed and lifted Sofia out of the water.  I had barely looked over to see what had happened when a searing pain hit me on my left foot.  I screamed in shock and less than a second later, an even worse pain hit my right ankle.  Instinctively, I raised my right foot and bent down to brush off whatever had gotten me.  But that meant I had to balance on my left foot and the second I tried to put weight on it, the pain caused me to lose my balance and I stumbled in the water - right into whatever was still probably floating around nearby.

Holy shit, we just got stung by jellyfish.

It happened in seconds.  Drew stumbled towards the shore with Sofia, and I tried to get out too but the pain, holy shit the pain.  I couldn't walk and I was terrified to try and swim back because I didn't want to get stung again but I sure as hell didn't want to stay in the water.  Luckily, I didn't have to think about my last minutes on Earth before I was devoured by what was certainly thousands of jellyfish waiting to take me to my watery grave, because Nate scooped me up and we all ran out of the water.

I couldn't believe what had just happened and holy SHIT the pain.  It felt like I'd been slapped with a strip of nails on both my feet and it stung like no other.  I really wanted to roll around and scream and cry because it hurt that bad but Sofia was hysterically crying so I had to keep it together and reassure her that I was okay.  Bless her heart, one second we were jumping the waves and the next we're screaming and running out of the water.  She had no clue what was happening.  And of course poor Drew got stung too and I was worried about him but he seemed to be doing ok.

We sprayed our legs with vinegar and water that the beach lifeguards gave us which did precisely nothing.  I felt like my feet were on fire.  I was actually surprised that Drew wasn't in more agony but he's tough like that.

I'd heard that you're supposed to pee on jellyfish stings but we didn't do that.  I wasn't exactly prepared to have Drew pee on me and I wasn't sure that I would be able to pee on him, so I just sat there and suffered.  We returned to the safety of the pool and Nate and Julie took Sofia swimming while I sat on the lounge chairs and realized that I'd just been stung by a jellyfish.  

It may not be much to look at but the stinging was so serious.

It lasted for a good forty minutes and that shit was NOT cool.

My poor hubby got slapped too.

He told me about one time when he got stung in the face by jellyfish when he lived in Australia.  He was diving into the waves and dove right into one - I couldn't even imagine.

I think that's why this one didn't faze him like it did me.

We were laying by the pool, watching Sofia with Nate and Julie.  The stinging had gone down and I could think straight again.  More than anything, I was glad it was us and not Sofia.  I could not begin to think of her enduring such pain and I promise I would have peed all over her had she been stung, I don't care who would have seen me. I could barely deal with the pain, the thought of my baby feeling that?  No effin way.  But she was fine, safe and sound and I had narrowly escaped death.  I began to verbally process what had happened.

me:  Babe.  We got stung by jellyfish.

Drew:  Mmhmm.

me:  Babe.  We got STUNG.  By JELLYFISH.

Drew:  I know.  I was there.

me:  That shit HURT.

Drew:  I know.

me:  Oh my GOD.  What if it had been Sofia!  I would have peed on her, you know.

Drew:  I know.

me:  Thank God it wasn't her though.  Because I'm pretty sure that jellyfish was trying to kill us.

Drew:  *Gigantic eye roll*

me:  BABE!  It WAS!  I saw its eyes.  They were red.

Drew:  Oh really.

me:  YES!  It had red eyes and I'm pretty sure it growled at me.

Drew:  Growled?

me:  It did. You didn't hear it.  You weren't there.

Drew:  I was right next to you.  I got stung first.

me:  Yeah, but you got stung by the baby.  It was probably a newborn jellyfish that didn't even know what it was doing.  I got stung by the mother and I'm pretty sure it was trying to drag me down to my watery grave.

Drew:  *huge sigh*  I'm getting in the pool.

me:  *following him in*  Babe I'm serious!  I almost died!  I saw the light!  The jellyfish was trying to drag me to the light but I resisted because I have too much to live for.

Drew:  You are ridiculous.

me:  I can't believe you're talking to me like that, here I just survived a near death experience.

Drew:  You're fine.

me:  Yeah now.  Because I'm a fighter.  I wouldn't let that jellyfish take me down.  I wouldn't let it take me to a watery grave.

Drew:  *taking a deep breath and going underwater, probably because he couldn't take the thought of nearly losing his precious wife to a vicious man-eating jellyfish.*

me:  BABE!  I almost DIED!  You shouldn't swim away like that!  

Drew:  *swimming towards me and grabbing my ankles*

me:  Stop trying to drag me to my watery grave!

Drew really has no sympathy for us near-death survivors.

By dinner that night, I was completely fine, no thanks to him.  The bumps on my left foot were nearly gone and the welt on my right ankle was no longer swollen.

What was left of my brush with death.

Now, what's really interesting is that just a few days ago, Drew started complaining that his stings were itching and bumps had reappeared at the site.  A day later, my stings started bumping up again and getting red and itchy too!  This is over a week after we'd gotten stung and I have no idea if that's normal or not.  Julie googled whether stings were dangerous for pregnant women and it seems like they're not, so I guess I'm okay. 

 How they looked this morning.

This is probably going to leave a mark.

My girlfriend's step-daughter got stung by a man o' war and she says she thinks that what stung us because apparently jellyfish don't leave marks like I have, but I haven't the first clue.  I haven't dropped dead yet, the baby is still rockin' and rollin' inside me, so I'm not going to freak myself out.  I'll ask at my next doctor's appointment, but I figure if I'm still alive at this point I'm probably going to make it.

*I went to the doctor this morning and she said I don't have anything to worry about.  Also, the baby kicked the Doppler wand when the doctor was listening to the heartbeat.  I mean, right in the wand.  That was no accident and I'm pretty sure my daughter is going to be a badass.

I'm just beyond thankful that it wasn't Sofia.  The thought of her getting stung gives me chills and this story would have gone very differently if it had been her.

So that was our big adventure on vacation.  I narrowly escaped certain death by the jellyfish of South Carolina.  Or man o' wars.  Is that the right plural?  Mans o' war doesn't sound right.  At any rate, I just barely survived my first brush with the wilderness.  

See Mom!  I told you to stay away from the ocean!

Now let's hit up that baby pool, I gotta practice my backstroke!