I can quit any time I want

Let's see if I can do this...


Andrea has entered her season where she wants to be close to me at all times for all things.  I'm trying to frame things in a positive way:  reminding myself that this is just a season, telling myself that she wants to be close to me, rather than pulling my hair out that this kid won't let me put her down!

I mean, she wants to be close to me.  It's just a season.

I wish I could do nothing but hold her and lay in bed and nurse her all day.  I want to be close to her too.  I want to bond with her like I did with Sofia.  But I can't and I feel guilty that I'm not giving her everything I gave Sofia in her infancy.  I may even have to cut this post short because I put her in the swing because I'm twitching because I want to write but she's starting to fuss.

But this isn't the old days and I have no village.  Instead, I have dishes and laundry and meals to make and emails to answer and a house to clean and another child to tend to and a baby who won't let me put her down.

I wear her as often as I can, but 90% of what I have to do (laundry, dishes, picking up toys every second of my life) involves bending down and that's not easily done with a baby strapped to your chest.  Hands-free becomes one-handed when you have to support their head from flopping whenever you bend down to unload the dishwasher, put clothes in the dryer or pick up toys every second of your life.  And I have mentioned that I'm going to be on my own again?  For two solid weeks?!  No seriously, where's my village?

I love this sentiment, I really do.

But what happens when tomorrow comes and there's no food

in the house because you were rocking your baby 

when you were supposed to be grocery shopping?  

Or there are no clean clothes because you haven't done laundry?

Or you're about to scream because you've rocked your baby for what

seems like forever and you really just want to do something else right quick?

What then?

PS, dust and cobwebs don't sleep or settle down; the only thing they do is multiply.

Whatever.  Let me stop complaining.  Lots of moms have it much harder than I do.  Of course, even as I say that I get pissed off.  Just because other moms have it harder, does that mean I have no right to say that it's hard for me?  That can't be right.  Ugh.  Let me stop.  Let's look at pictures.  I've been wanting to share this stuff for ages but I haven't been able to because I'm rocking babies, nursing, playing with sidewalk chalk and picking up toys every second of my life.

I'm not addicted to rugs.

I can quit any time I want.

This was our last rug incarnation.  I went with a flatweave this time because I wanted something durable and wouldn't stink quickly.  Flatweaves are both of those things but they're also thin.  I liked the rug style but I hated how thin it was.  It was a glorified blanket and those wrinkles were a constant pain in the ass.  I tried to make it work because I was on thin ice with Drew with all the rug buying I was doing.

Plus, I felt like I needed to edit.  For example, there's no red in the living room - 

why did I get a rug with red in it?

It was also a little too big for the room because I only eyeballed the measurements.

I even took the rug to Carpet Mart and had them cut some off the length

to make a runner for the laundry room.  But the carpet tape they sold me was worthless

and every time Maya would run in from outside, this is what I ended up with.

Plus, Maya made it her chewing blanket in no time.

I wanted to start over.  I wanted to edit and use what I've learned about rugs.  Namely, I needed something thicker than a flatweave.  We spend a lot of time on the living room floor and a blanket type rug was not cutting it.  It also needed to be smaller.  The striped rug was a 10x14, trimmed to a 10x12.  That was too big for the room; a lot of the rug got bunched up under the sofa and dog bed.  

This one was an 8x10 and it was a pinch too small.

I don't know if I got it right with this one but 

the size is good.

This one is just shy of a 9x12.  I get all my rugs from RugsUSA and they're very inexpensive, which is good for someone with a rug fetish like I do.  But they're weird sizes - this one is 8'3"x11, which is actually a good size for our living room.  It's not lost under the sofa and it stops just in front of the dog bed.  Since it doesn't go all the way under the mirrored buffet, your eye stops at the edge of the rug and the cords underneath the buffet aren't as noticeable.  And it's nice and plush, which we all love.

  Drew knows I worship at the altar of Jeff Lewis and he brought me 

some Jeff Lewis flowers.  (Click the link and look at the Tujunga picture - see!)

Of course since this is real life and we can't have nice things, I quickly

put the flowers on the dining room table so the small person

wouldn't destroy them.

Also, real life dictates that you have a kitchen, easel and Learning Tower in your living room.

However, I try my best to make things look as design-y as possible and eventually I would like to sew a new dog bed in a solid neutral fabric since the the print competes with the rug.  I'm thinking a canvas dropcloth with gray piping - that would be nice.  Of course, that's saying I'll ever find the time to sew a new dog bed but a girl can dream.  I'd also like a slipcover for the sofa since I have fifty shades of gray going on, but at least there's no red in here now.  

I love this look.  I'll get it right one day.

source

The striped rug is now outside on the patio and 

I officially have run out of places to put rugs.

But!  It makes more sense out here because the red in the rug ties into the red of the chairs.

It hides the ugly concrete and the kids have a softer place to sit.  

Even Drew said he liked it!

Okay, that's my time.  Andrea has officially declared that she is done with the baby swing so I have to go.  But yeah, I bought another rug and I wanted to show you.  

Back to rocking my baby....