Monday, September 19, 2011

Trash tv

I have a confession:  I got sucked in to reality tv.


I prided myself on not watching it that much.  We have AppleTV which makes you pay for every episode that you buy so it forces you to think real hard if you really want to pay $2 right then to watch an episode of Hoarders. 

I'm at once horrified and fascinated.

Thank goodness for tv on the computer!  I lay in bed and catch up on all my programs.  I'm currently addiction to Dance Moms, Russian Dolls and the one I'll watch on the big tv:  Most Eligible Dallas.
I'm Abby Lee Miller and you will do as I say - Yes?

The Russian New Yorker accent is crazysauce.

But Most. Eligible. Dallas.

I think it's because I live five minutes from all the places they show.  Or it could be Courtney's jewelry and how she's so delightfully bitchy.  Or that I've dated guys like Matt - but only very briefly because they're just as vapid as he is on the show.

Whatever the reason, I dutifully pay my $2 and for that 44 minutes (love commercial-free tv!) I'm sucked in, calling out I've been there! when they show a restaurant or bar that's right around the corner from my house.  

It reminds me when I used to be out like that, although I never got to wear such fabulous clothes.    But here's the best part:  I actually saw Courtney in real life!  I was getting my sunglasses repaired and there she was, sitting outside the Sunglass Hut that she manages, in the flesh!

No, I didn't get a picture.  I would have felt like a supreme loser going up to her, "uuuuhhh, I love your show and you're so pretty, can I get a picture with you for my blog?"  So I didn't get one.  But I totally saw her, I swear.

And it absolutely beats the time I "met" The Pioneer Woman.  

You know, because that's my life now.  Seeing 'famous' people from afar and being too chicken to say hi.  

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Tall and tan and young and lovely

Because I don't know any songs about girls from Rio, and Ipanema is close to Rio, I think.


I should know more about our vacation spot.
Going here!
To do this!

Okay, so right here I was going to put a picture of a teeny bikini and say that I will NOT be wearing one of those but those damn things are TEENY!  Plus, it felt weird to put a picture of a skimpy girl on my blog when it's not me. HA!  Like I would ever.

We leave this afternoon and I'm super excited!  I've never been to South America and I've never been anywhere where I don't speak the language.  I've heard that Portuguese speakers can understand Spanish so hopefully I can point and smile and speak Spanish and I won't get treated badly.

But oh my baby Jesus, I am NERVOUS for the flight!  TEN HOURS.  Please send fairy dust, prayers, light a candle or whatever else you can do to ensure that my baby isn't one of *those* babies on the plane.  You know, the one that screams the entire way and makes you want to rip open the emergency exits.  If necessary I will keep a boob in her mouth the whole way down there so she won't scream.

We're going to be gone for a while, so I'm going to remix some past posts for ya so you have something to read while I'm gone.  I contemplated just shutting things down while I was gone, but that's no fun.  I hope you enjoy them!

This is going to be so much fun and I can't wait to tell you all about it when we get back!

Até então! *Apparently, that means 'until then' in Portuguese.  At least I hope it does.  

I'll miss you!  Don't break anything while I'm gone.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Wanna buy my house?

FINALLY, it's official!


If you were one of the few that saw my post before I took it down, this is old news.  If you follow me on Pinterest, you probably already have an idea.  If you follow me on Twitter, you're probably pretty sure you know what I'm going to say.  If you don't do any of those things because you have a life, I applaud you.  I used to have a life too, but now I follow people on Pinterest and Twitter.


Anyway, it's official!  We're moving to Pennsylvania, home to the US Mint, the Liberty Bell, the Amish, the Pennsylvania Dutch and my favorite, the Philly cheese steak! *That right there was the extent of my knowledge about Pennsylvania.
Last year, when we were in Philly for Drew's brother's wedding.
I was four months pregnant and I hosed that sandwich!
To think, I can drive here soon!


As soon as our house sells, we're packing up and moving to Reading, which is about an hour outside of Philly.  I know nothing about the area except that it's two and a half hours away from New York City and I'm already daydreaming about taking Sofia to Central Park.  I'm super excited about that!


Drew actually accepted the job last week but was superstitious about letting me write about it because he still had to sign the papers and take the drug test.  I was like are you seriously worried about not passing the drug test?  Is there something you need to tell me?


Finally though, the papers were signed, the cup got peed in and I can start talking!  It's been killing me because I've been dying to ask about Pennsylvania and Philly and Reading and winter and clothes and snow and cold and am I going to freeze my face off and how do I dress my kid and really how cold is it and how long is winter there exactly??


I'm a little nervous about the snow.  My current plan is to stay inside until spring.


But before any of that happens, we have to sell the house here.  We (me, the baby and the dog) will stay here until it sells and Drew will commute back and forth, so I'm really hoping that it sells quickly.  I've gotten spoiled having Drew home, it's been such a wonderful blessing.


The house goes on the market tomorrow and in preparation, the realtor brought a photographer to take pictures of the house and they are amazing!  As in, I don't want to sell my house anymore or I want to find its identical twin in Reading.


However, before I post the pictures I have to rant about how much of a pain in my ass it was to get the house ready.  They call it staging - I call it 'I'd rather rip my hair out strand by strand.'  When he came through, he was like this has to go, this has to be moved, this has to go, put that here, take that out, add that and then pretend like you don't live here until it sells.  Hey guess what?  You CAN'T do that with a baby and certainly not with a dog who sheds if you merely look at her.


So yeah, it was tense.  Yeah, Drew and I tussled.  Lots.  The maid did a deep clean but we still had to go behind her and clean again because we. live. here!!  We also got the floors done again and got claw caps for the dog so she can't jack them up again.  
Although we left her with *some* dignity and got the black ones.

The biggest pain by far was having to find a place for all our stuff, because you don't want someone to come in to your house and marvel over your decorations, you want them to see the house itself and love it and submit an offer on the spot.  Furthermore, you don't want any of your personal things to create a bias, so we got rid of all evidence that we have a dog, in case people coming through are dog-haters and instantly decide not to buy a house a dog has lived in.  So her crate, her bed and all her stuff got banished to the garage.  Poor doggie - when we left the house the other day, she went to the spot where her crate was and got all confused that it wasn't there anymore.


I'm hoping it'll all be worth it and the house will sell quickly so we don't have to worry about being separated for too long.  Besides, I want to get started on a new house as soon as I can!  I've been prowling the internet looking for inspiration and I'm dying to paint something and retouching the trim in our house definitely doesn't count.  


How could you not want this house?


Damn, that's a good-looking nursery

No more mess on my dresser!


I'm tripping out at how big the breakfast nook looks here!
It looks way different from my house tour, right!

When I saw these I told our realtor that I'd changed my mind and we were staying in our house forever.  I can only hope that the next owners love our house as much as we have and that they treat it well.

As for me and my family, it's onward and forward and upward and outward!  So once again, my ReaderFriends, give me what you've got on the East Coast.  I've already gotten the sweetest email from Jenny (hi Jenny!) giving me the lowdown on the wawas, which apparently are gas station sandwiches that are a must-try.  I'm totally down because there's a gas station up the street from us that makes the most amazing tacos.  I'm all about the gas station tacos so if the gas station sandwiches are anything like them, I'm already happy.  Carolyn has given me some pointers on dressing my baby which is all important because Sofia lives barefoot in onesies and has virtually no cold weather clothes.

However, I need more information.  How do I find a pediatrician?  What about mom friends?  Are there fun things to do in Reading?  Why do I keep wanting to say REE-ding?  Will that go away?  OOOOHH!  YOGA!  Any pointers on good yoga studios?  I haven't been to a class since the baby was born and my body tells me about it every day.  My goal is to get back into it when we get there because by then she'll be old enough to maybe go to a Parent's Day Out program a couple times a week for a few hours and Mommy can go get bendy!

I've lived in Texas since 1995, with a brief stint in LA, but mostly I'm a Texas girl.  I'm excited about this new chapter but I've gotten quite comfortable here in the South.  It's going to be a major adjustment and I'm sure I'll have my moments.  But overall, I'm looking forward to the new adventure and I'm reeeeaaaally looking forward to a new house!  We spend lots of nights browsing on Trulia, and it's been so much fun pinning all my inspiration photos.

Oh yeah, as if we weren't suburban enough, we went and got a station wagon.
Drew says it's not a station wagon, it's a *Subaru*.
Looks like a station wagon to me.

Because Drew traveled so much, we've gotten by on one car for over two years now.  However, now that Drew is going to travel much less (yay!!) and is going to be commuting every day, two cars became a necessity.  Drew's the car guy and he picked it out, saying something about all-wheel drive, holds its value, lots of space, blah frickin blah.  I hate cars and I hate car payments even more.  If it gets me from point A to point B and it's all one color, I'm good.  I would have kept my little Civic forever and I really would have kept my Accord forever, but having a baby and a dog nixed that quickly.  So the Soccer Mom car it is for me, and the Dad Station Wagon for Drew.  God, we're old and so not cool.

I need another tattoo.

...........

Buy my house!!

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