The shed-yule

L'horaire.  El horario.  Sked-chull.  Sketch-ull.  The Almighty Schedule.


It was the magic key that has my baby sleeping through the night.  And not five hours, which is commonly accepted as 'through the night.'  I'm talking going to bed at 8 and not getting up until seven the next morning.  I wouldn't believe it if I wasn't living it.  But let me back up.


It was Saturday night and I was sitting in our bedroom, bawling my eyes out.  Head in hands, shoulders shaking, bawling.  Sofia was in her crib, bawling *her* eyes out.  Throat rattling, snot pouring, bawling.  It was miserable and something had to give because my baby was tired.

We were at the baby gym and the bubbles were just sitting on her hair.

She looked so cute but she was barely able to keep her eyes open.

They say you shouldn't even think about getting a baby on a schedule until they're at least four to five months.  We kinda sorta had a schedule but nighttime was always a battle and she always ended up in bed with us.  Naps were sporadic and bedtime was anywhere from 7:30 to 10:30, not by my choice.  I could always count on an 11 or midnight waking, followed by a 3-4am waking, followed by bringing her in bed with us because I was so effing tired.


I tried to follow the Ferber method for one night - remember how that turned out?  I had a violent physical reaction to her crying and that was it for me.  I may be weak, soft, and screwing up my daughter for life, but I cannot deal with her crying.  I am physically unable to handle it and since I'm alone more often than not, I won't be trying anytime soon.  I don't have anyone to reassure me and hold me while my daughter is screaming and crying her face off, so I had to find a different way.


Unfortunately, the holidays killed any sort of attempt at routine or schedule.  We traveled from October until the new year and between hotel rooms, my parent's house and Drew's parent's house, Sofia rarely had a normal bedtime - we just did the best we could.  I feel guilty beyond guilty typing that out, but I have seen the error of my ways and trust - it's not going to be like that ever again.


Sunday morning, Drew left for Reading.  It was a new day, a new start and it was high time for The Schedule.

Don't. Mess. With The Schedule.

We have lots of playing built into The Schedule because it's time for us to learn things.  I found this awesome blog, Play at Home Mom and those tricks are serious!  I don't have Environments or Invitations for Sofia, but we sure do stack the hell out of some blocks and I try my hardest to teach her colors.  It's only been three days, but I'm pretty sure we're ready to move on to long division.

But seriously, if I wasn't living it I wouldn't believe it but y'all.  This shit works.  Oh, and the marks above The Schedule?  That's our swear chart - no, seriously.  I refuse to have the kid that swears and thinks it's funny because they picked it up from Mom and Dad.  Presently, I'm winning and we're doing lots better since we started keeping track, but obviously it doesn't apply to the blog.  I have to be able to swear somewhere, even though I'm actually trying to lighten that up as well.  I'm *totally* going to stop before she can read.  PROMISE.

But back to The Schedule.  Sunday we followed it to the letter and I got an hour long morning nap and a two hour afternoon nap and I have never gotten a two hour afternoon nap.  Granted, I laid down with her but I'm counting it!  Bedtime was a little rough because she woke up around 11 and it took me an hour to get her back down, BUT she stayed in her crib the rest of the night!!  She didn't wake up until 7:30 the next morning!!  That is so major.

Monday, again we followed The Schedule to the letter.  This time morning and afternoon naps were shorter, but they happened!  At the right time!  Bedtime came at 7:45 and when she woke up around 11 again, it took less than an hour to get her back down!  When she woke around 3ish, she half-cried for a little while, and put herself back to sleep.  That has never ever ever ever ever EVER happened.  

Tonight, she was practically begging to go to sleep at 7:45 on the dot and was out cold by 8.  A Got Damb Murther Furkin door to door person came at 8 murther furkin o'clock, thereby causing my dog to lose her mind barking and I about lost my shit because of course the baby woke up.  After telling the door to door person that I didn't want a Got Damb thing they were selling and very pointedly telling her that She Woke Up My Baby, I went in to soothe her, positive that it would take all night to get her back down.

Five minutes.  If that.  She was back to sleep and has been asleep ever since.  I made myself dinner, I painted my fingers and toes, I watched tv and thanked the baby Jesus for my good fortune.   

I know the Varsity Moms are probably rolling their eyes, going duh!  Babies need schedules and routines!  To which I can only reply, Dooood.  My bad!  I clearly didn't understand how serious it was to have A Schedule.

Her demeanor and mood is ridiculously improved.  She's always been a happy and easy-going kid but now she's rested and she's even happier, and rather than beat myself up that it took me this long to get it together, I'm going to be thankful that it didn't take me longer.

Therefore, this little post is getting filed under 'accomplishments.'  One day I do hope to get naps that are longer than an hour in the daytime, but for now I'm going to bask in the fact that my baby is officially sleeping through the night because I thought we'd be doomed to have her in our bed forever.  I love my daughter but she actually punched me in the throat Saturday morning.  Yeah, it was because she rolled over and flung her arm out, but it woke me out of a dead sleep and that shit hurt!  Seriously, we all needed our own space.

The Schedule is not ultra-rigid, it allows for wiggle room and slowly but surely we're working our way up to being able to leave the house for longer periods of time without her falling asleep in the carseat.  One thing at a time.

I still don't know what to do with myself and I'm sure that this is a sign of her growing up.  She actually cut her first tooth today. *sniff*  My baby's growing up.

Okay, so please allow me this moment of being happy and proud and feeling like a good mother.  Please don't tell me about how this is all going out the window with the next milestone or some other mean thing like "enjoy it while you can, because wait till they (do whatever thing that will cause them to stop sleeping)."  

I need this victory.  I need the illusion, if only for a little while.

I need to sleep enough to get the circles under my eyes to fade just a little bit.  So.......

My baby's sleeping through the night!  Halle-LU-Jah!

Nine

Sofia is nine months old today. Yes I know that technically, she was nine months old yesterday but I started this on her nine month birthday so I'm counting it.


.......


Okay, I'm back.  I had to cry and wail and gnash my teeth at the fact that my kid can do this:

She refused to sit for the picture so I was like, Fine you can stand up but you're totally going to fall over.  And then she was like, Fall over?  Yeah right.  I'll just lean on the sofa and post up.  She stood there while I snapped like five pictures before she decided she was done showing me her skills.  Then I had to gnash my teeth some more.  I can't handle this.

The plague has left the house, thank god, but not before it did a number on me.  I was feeling crappy all day Sunday and only ate a bowl of chicken noodle soup at like five in the afternoon because my mother was hounding me.  I begged Drew to take the baby with him when he took my mom to the airport, and I'm so glad he did because of course it all came right back up shortly after they left.  But thank the baby Jesus, it seemed to be 24 hour thing and now all I have to deal with is the runny nose.  Drew is well again, the baby is well so we're back to our routine. 

Which includes dinner!

No one is happier than I am that Sofia's food issues appear to have resolved themselves.  She pretty much eats everything now and we've had no skin flare-ups.  I'm guessing her little system just needed time to further mature before she could handle solids.  However, I haven't yet found a food that she loves.  So far, she'll eat what I give her but she definitely doesn't get excited about any of it and stops eating after a few bites.  I get the distinct sense that she eats to humor me.  The doctor said her weight is fine and as long as I continue to nurse on demand, we're in good shape.

Nursing is getting super fun too!  Now that she can pull up to standing, her favorite thing to do is crawl over to me, pull up and grab at my shirt.  Most of the time I wear v necks or other easy access shirts so it's very easy for her to get to the goods.  If I stop her and try to get her to do the sign for 'milk' or 'please' she gets very insistent and starts making the 'hate noises.'  One of the moms in my playgroup coined the phrase and it fits perfectly.  The kid sounds like she's about to conjure some demons if I don't whip out the boob fast enough.  If she were older and not so cute, I would have to discipline her.  But at this point it's just funny, although I do tell her that the polite thing is to say please.  She could care less.

OH! OH!  AND!!  The birthday planning has begun!!  I've got the invitation idea planned, the photographer booked and I've got my eye on decorations and of course the whole thing is on Pinterest.  What did I do with my life before Pinterest?  Do you have any idea how much fun I'm having planning her party?  It's kind of silly.

This of course means that we can't sell our house until the week after the party.  In April.  Drew is not-so-silently having a fit every time I mention something about her birthday because he wants me to rein it in.  AS IF.  This is my daughter's first birthday.  There will be no reining in of ANYTHING.

HE SAYS I shouldn't plan because we might sell the house before then and I'll be disappointed.  I assure him that I will be much more disappointed if we're still here in April and I *haven't* planned anything.  It's not like I'm putting a thousand dollar down payment on a hall or something.  I'm just planning a huge small, elaborate simple, celebration get-together for our daughter.  No big.  Very big.  Huge.

So how about y'all?  I feel like I've been out of the loop since I was up to my eyeballs with the plague.  Any gnashing of the teeth?  Any planning?

And just because I like watching that vein pop out on his neck:  Do you have any website suggestions/inspirations for Sofia's party?

A pox on my house

Well hello 2012, I was all optimistic about how wonderful you were going to be and all the blessings and happy things you were going to bring and you don't even bother giving me just a few moments to enjoy that happy shiny feeling, huh?  You gotta be all Happy New Year!  


POX!


The plague has descended on my home and I'm only just now raising my head from the wreckage and carnage and mayhem and woe.


My kid is sick, my husband is sick, I'm sick and two of the three of us are shitting their brains out.  You know how absolutely positively NOT fun that is?  It's not fun.


The little cold that Sofia had, that I thought would resolve itself in a few days, has turned into an ear and sinus infection.  Kill me now.  She had a runny nose, which I attributed to teething and was all proud of myself for not being a neurotic mom and running to the doctor at a little sniffle.  "She is breastfed," I said in my superhero voice.  "Her body will heal itself."


Then she started coughing.  "It's just the post-nasal drip irritating her throat.  Don't panic.  This is par for the course."  I dutifully wiped her nose, used the snotsucker, we took steamy showers, I bought a humidifier and I prayed to the baby Jesus to heal my Precious.


Then she got really congested and her snot turned yellow.  Game over.  Time for the doctor.


I took her in and the doctor looked in her ear for a nanosecond and was like "She has an ear infection."  Oh that's just awesome.  Although the upside was that she's almost nine months old (next Wednesday - waaaaaaahhhhh) and this is her first cold.  The doctor said most babies get 6-10 colds their first year of life so we were doing really well.  I could only half-heartedly puff my chest out because Sofia was coughing and rubbing her eyes and ears and I felt terrible for her. 


We got antibiotics and ear drops and Pedialyte because she said the antibiotics could give her diarrhea (which it totally does, btw.  Shitting. Her. Brains Out. Awesome.)  You know, it's the 21st century - you'd think they would have invented medication that makes things better *without* making other things worse.  So now I'm on Dehydration Red Alert and I've got her permanently attached to my boob, which is super fun because the kid can barely breathe, while I'm drinking as much water as I can handle as well as trying to get her to drink the Pedialyte, which she hates.  Of course she does.

Drew's birthday lunch, New Year's Eve.

Even though she was sick, she was still super cute and happy.

Oh, and my poor hubby.  He's got issues too.  He'd be mortified if I went into detail, but the man's strugglin.  Oh yeah, we're starting the new year right.  And by right I mean shitty.  In the literal sense.  I'm just thankful that the only thing I seem to have caught is Sofia's runny nose.

I was all ready to post about my resolutions and how good I'm feeling about this new year and how wonderful it is to have that clean slate feeling - and then the plague dropped on us and it's all I can do to keep up with her runny nose, her poopy butt, the dog and the husband.  Mama is tired.

But it's all good because this too shall pass.  Actually, let me rephrase that.  

This too had better pass.  It's killing me to hear my baby's nose rattle with all her snot, and the coughing is breaking my heart.  And the poop?  That shit just pisses me off.

Thank God my mom is in town for the weekend.  The extra set of hands is a big help and even though I hate leaving the baby when she's sick, I'm have to go be with Drew because he's sick.

As for me, I'm downing the Vitamin C like it's my job and I'm trying my hardest to rest as much as possible (ha frickin HA) because moms aren't allowed to get sick.

Pray for us, y'all.