It's no secret that I have issues with food. I'm hyperaware of it and I really don't want to pass on any of my idiosyncrasies to my daughter. I don't want her to attach emotion to food, positive or negative because food is a tricky little monster. You have to have it and it can help you or hurt you. There's no getting around it and my worst nightmare has come true: I have a picky eater.
That's totally me, even down to the gray hair.
Which reminds me, I have got to find a stylist here.
Ever since I started feeding Sofia solids, I've been paranoid about it. What do I feed her? How much? How often? What does she like? How strict should I be? What's an acceptable amount? When should I worry? And then my head explodes.
We never really did purees, and she's always done well with regular table foods but the pickiness is bringing me to my knees. The kid eats two bites and throws the rest on the floor! And you think *my* food issues are bad? You should see Drew's face when she throws food on the floor because for him, wasting food is right up there with kicking puppies and punching old people. A couple of nights ago, he gave Sofia a cheese stick and she took one bite of it and gave the rest to the dog. I thought his head was literally going to explode!
He'll go to all the effort of making a little plate for her, with her meat oh so carefully shredded into bite-size pieces, her veggies just the right temperature, even with the proper presentation! She will obligingly take a bite of meat - we hold our breath, sneak a smile at each other, our baby is such a good eater! And then she will oh so politely spit it out, take another handful, throw it on the floor and sign "All done."
It's the only sign we taught her, because throwing food on the floor was pissing us off.
Now she will furiously sign this after two. frickin. bites!
The pediatrician said her weight is fine and not to worry, but yeah right. The kid barely eats! She said the most important thing is not to attach any emotion to mealtimes, not to get happy or frustrated over any of it. This is especially true as she really gets into her toddler years and the power struggles start and her desire for independence and control turn mealtimes into battlegrounds. That is something I for real don't want so I try to keep my poker face every time we sit down to eat.
Which is why I'm going to whine on my blog, so I can be cold as ice the next time I feed her.
I nearly lost it this morning. I seriously wanted to crawl under the table and cry. Yesterday I fed her mini waffles (multi-grain, organic, hippie blah blah), drizzled with honey (organic, hippie blah blah), fresh blueberries from the farmers market, painstakingly cut into non-chokable pieces, and I don't even think one bite of waffle made it into her stomach. She took a couple of bites, spit it out, the dog came and ate it and I wanted to cry. She *may* have eaten ONE f*cking blueberry. Then it was the furious 'all done' signing.
This morning she was up and knocking on the refrigerator door (which was actually kind of cute.) "Cheeese! Cheeese!" Because the one thing she'll eat anytime, anyplace is cheese. The other thing is meat. I would have zero problems in my life if I let her just eat meat and cheese for the rest of her days.
Sofia's idea of food heaven.
She's sitting on my lap right now and when she saw this picture,
she went "Cheeeeeese!!"
This morning, I gave in and cut up some cheese for her. I cut up some grapes too because she likes grapes, right? Ha. The cheese got gobbled up and the grapes got thrown on the floor. I felt so defeated.
I don't know what the F to do. I try to stay calm, but I'm so paranoid about ruining food for her, about her being malnourished, about her being anemic or deficient in some other nutrients, and it'll be all my fault because I don't know how to get her to eat. I'm not even joking, when she threw those grapes on the floor and I had to get up and go to the bathroom so she wouldn't see me cry.
*deep breath*
Okay, I've gotten it out. I have no idea what we're going to have for lunch, but I'm going to be cool as the other side of the pillow. It's ok if she only has two bites. It's ok if she only has two bites. It's ok if she only has two bites. She doesn't phase me. I've got this. I'm the adult here. The sneaky little terrorist will not win.
Oh wait - no emotion. Let me try again.
Okay, if she eats, she eats. If she doesn't, no big. It's cool, it's whatever, I'm breezy.
Who knew I'd be in this place, pep-talking myself to get ready for lunch? Good LORD.
My daughter is EXACTLY the same way (at 2.5). I asked her pediatrician about it, and she told me to keep offering other things, but not to stress about it. She assured me that she wouldn't starve herself, and that a combo of the meat, cheese, milk, and a daily kids vitamin wouldn't leave her malnourished. Now, she'll eat fruit and some veggies, but it took a while to get to this point. Good luck, and be strong!
ReplyDeleteI'm in the same situation! I have a 13 month old who would rather throw his food on the floor than eat it. And he doesn't eat any vegetables. Thank goodness for the Morningstar Veggie Patties or he wouldn't get any veggies. There have been nights when he has had a piece of wheat bread and milk for dinner because he won't eat the chicken and carrots I gave him. He will eat whole entire pieces of fruit sometimes as his meal. Just remember they won't starve themselves and two bites is better than none! And it's probably just a *stage* she is going through and will wear of it quickly.
ReplyDeleteThe Morningstar veggie meatballs are my salvation! She'll eat those all day long!
ReplyDeleteAnd Gawd I hope this is just a phase!
What is it with these kids and their meat and cheese? :-)
ReplyDeleteWe're basically still in food hell at 27 months old. So. yea. We're at the phase where one day is great, the next day sucks. She is picky as heck. I stressed about it for a LONG time and now I'm all "she'll be fine"..and she is. But it's hard. I so know that feeling.
ReplyDeleteOrder Child of Mine right now. Best book ever. I was in the same exact spot. My guy would eat cheese and blueberries - and he would eat like every three days. Seriously. This book essentially says - offer healthy choices at regular intervals. Always offer one thing they like. And relax. They'll eat when they need to. I still stress occasionally (like when he just wont' eat at all for a whole day), but he's pooping regularly so I'm good to go. THe book talks about how creating power struggles over food is how we get eating disorders. As an eating disordered person myself, my parents did a lot of power stuff about food (not enough of the good thing, dad eating all the something, must sit at the table until you finish your food, etc). Check out child of mine - it rocks.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry! I don't have much advice. The only thing I'd suggest is giving her one thing at a time, so she can't see anything else. My kids eat better one thing at a time. If there are more choices, they tend to each their "favorite" thing first and leave the rest.
ReplyDeleteOther than that...I don't know. I did enjoy reading the book "French Kids Eat Everything." Try it. If it helps, great. If it makes you more stressed out, stop reading.
I think the meat and cheese thing is because they are growing fast and their little bodies know that they need the protein. It's hard but try not to worry. I went through the same thing with my son. But he didn't starve himself or become malnourished. In fact, he's 19 now and has a very healthy appetite. Keep saying "This too shall pass..." = )
ReplyDeleteOh no! So sorry mama. Just keep trying, keep offering her the same foods, she'll start eating more and more for you I hope!
ReplyDeleteOur pedi told us to think of the pyramid more as a weekly goal Than a day to day goal to keep a toddler healthy!
ReplyDeleteBreath... just breath and remember she will not starve herself. my pedi told us my son would eat when he was hungry and not to worry much about it. i think that Tuesday he literally had a cheese stick and a bite of toast all day. we offered him stuff all day and he refuesed. all of the food ended on the floor or in the dogs mouth. i have heard you have to offer it to them 10 times or more for them to actually try it sometimes. i would read the books and talk to the pedi and see how it goes. just remember to breath and please dont let your head explode :)
ReplyDeleteNew reader here! Love your writing style & can relate to so much of what you write. My daughter is the same age & does the same thing. I do spoon feed her a good amount of food (mainly oatmeal & yogurt mixed w/ fruit) and sometimes all it takes is getting some on her lips, she'll taste it, realize it is somethign she likes & she will eat it. She hates veggies though, so again we do a lot of those pouches that are veggie & fruit mixes & I also freeze a mix of spinach & peaches - nasty but she LOVES it. We just started introducing "dips" for her veggies and that got her to eat some grated carrot (dipped in ranch, OMG so bad but it got her to eat them!)
ReplyDeleteWe have the whole, one day she loves a food, the next day she won't touch it.
My two and a half year old is like this. I get stressed every day until I remember that she will eat when she's hungry, stop when she's full. It's nature. That, and the thought that someone once told me to look at the week's worth of nutrition, not for an individual day. So when she'll only eat cheese one day, as long as there are some green beans in the week and maybe some broccoli under the cheese, you're all good.
ReplyDeleteKeep offering her food but as long as she is getting her milk shes good. She'll eat what she wants and she's not starving. Maybe add some pediasure or something like that to make sure shes getting everything else she needs. I'm sure she is though. Some kids are just picky eaters. Jas is becoming one and I hope her list of things she doesn't like stays short.
ReplyDeleteoh and she also love CHEESEEE and bacon ( which i don't even eat). she'll eat cheese all day long. Any kind too.
ReplyDeleteInserting my worthless childless opinion here :-) I've read that this is a common phase toddlers go through. I have a friend with a son who would eat NOTHING but toast. JUST TOAST. It eventually passed and he ate more variety in his foods. Also, my mom gave me everything (food) as a kid and I am quite possibly the pickiest adult you will ever meet. So sometimes it bes that way no matter what you do.
ReplyDeleteWhen my 16 month old son will only eat cheese, I remind myself of the Division of Responsibility in Feeding, which is, "Parents provide structure, support and opportunities. Children choose how much and whether to eat from what the parents provide." You can read about it here:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.ellynsatter.com/ellyn-satters-division-of-responsibility-in-feeding-i-80.html. For what it's worth, I've heard some people take issue with the no grazing rule, but the overarching rule is the attitude I try to keep.
You might also enjoy this post by Dooce about her struggles to get Leta to eat and how she finally took all of the emotion out of eating: http://dooce.com/2011/01/11/heres-where-my-mom-brings-apples-and-peanut-butter.
Those are great links - thank you so much for the tips because you know I need all the help I can get!
ReplyDelete