PS, I just read the post that had this image and actually laughed out loud because
PMS really does suck.
- Hurricane Sandy did some serious damage to our neighborhood. All those pretty tree-lined streets are a mess of branches on power lines, giant trees with their roots in the air and lots of people still don't have power. I am ridiculously thankful that we were spared. None of our trees caused any damage, we only lost power for a short time in the middle of the night and we're all okay. That said? The winds and the small-ish branches that hit our roof in the middle of the night were scary enough. Welcome to the East Coast.
- Because of the storm, no one came to trick or treat and I'm secretly glad about that. I was not up for handing out candy this year.
- But I've already made a promise that next year, we're going to do it up big. Sofia will be more aware and more able to participate and I want the holidays to feel special for her.
- I've resigned myself to the fact that any home decorating projects will have to take place only on the weekends. It is just about impossible to get anything done during the day with an active toddler and I've been feeling really guilty lately about not doing enough to engage her mind. I blame Pinterest and Play at Home Mom for making me feel like a total Slacker Mom for not having interesting, educating and engaging activities ready to go for her every minute that she's awake.
- Weekends are not long enough to get everything done and having unfinished projects makes my stomach hurt.
- Who am I kidding. UnStarted projects is more like it.
WooSaaaaaaa.....
Okay, I feel better. Nothing is really wrong with my life, but man, sometimes it feels like I just want to go out back and scream until my throat hurts. Some days I feel like my individuality has disappeared forever and I'll never get it back, that I'm nothing more than a Mom and a Wife, that I'm not ME. Then I feel guilty because I shouldn't complain about my truly awesome life. Then I feel mad that I'm not allowed to have feelings. Then the feeling spiral starts and then I want to scream.
But writing makes it better. Writing always makes it better.
Now if I could just get a full day to myself. Sun up to sun down, no interruptions.
I'm guessing that'll happen in about 18 years, give or take....
OMG! For some reason, I still associate you with Texas, but you were totally right in the storm! GAH! So glad you're ok!!! Don't feel too guilty about the home projects... it's a work in progress! :)
ReplyDeleteDear Desiree! You can not imagine how much I can relate to your post. Different continent(Europe) and different body (mine) but the thoughts in my head are the same. I have a lovely 17 month old boy who I adore, a cool husband but...where is ME? Am I just for changing diapers, breastfeeding and cooking dinners or is there something more than that. On top of that our sex life is kind on the rocks in the moment so you can imagine how that is affecting an insecure in her body and self woman.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean! It's not easy and some days I wonder if this is all there is. But just then, it seems like the universe hears me and I get a break, whether it's in the form of an extra long nap, a good hair day or just a moment of peace. And then I remember what it's all for, you know?
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