Jewelry storage, in 47 easy steps

Girl.  Get some wine and get cozy because do I have a story to tell!

Approximately 15,000 years ago, I wrote about storing my jewelry - it was so long ago that I can't even find the post in my search bar.  The gist of it was, I was ridiculously proud of myself for having found bait boxes to use as earring holders.

They look like these.  So functional, but so sad-looking and 

not at all worthy of jewelry storage.

In addition to that, I had two small jewelry boxes that held random stuff.  Then I had some little dishes that held other stuff, a little box or two with some more stuff, until I had no idea what was where and pulling out my bait boxes every time I wanted to accessorize, only to realize that what I wanted was somewhere else - well, that was just no fun.

This method of storage isn't working for me.

Enter Pinterest.

There are jewelry storage pins all over the place, most of them a variation on the frame-and-chicken-wire theme.  So while Sofia was in school yesterday, I got started.

 I gathered all my jewelry from all the random places and laid them all on the guest bed.

That in itself was tons of fun - I really do love playing with sparkly things.

Then I got a frame from the basement, aka The Use What You Have Store.

I got this at Michael's a while ago for about five bucks. 

You can use radiator grates from Home Depot for a more decorative look, but 

each sheet is like twenty-five bucks, you have to cut it with wire cutters, you risk losing a finger, and that's just not the business.

I'll take five bucks and cut it with plain ol' scissors, thanks.

The downside is that you have the foldy lines and if that sort of thing bothers you, then you should go with the radiator sheets.  Foldy lines do not bother me.

This is my new favorite color of spray paint but Krylon is not my favorite brand.

Observe.

You see that splattery, drippy, gloppy mess?

Krylon is NOT my friend.

Lucky for them, I'm not a perfectionist and another coat *sorta* made it better.

Crap, I'm out of order.

Before I spray painted, I flipped the frame over and hot glued the mesh to the back.

THEN I took it to the garage and discovered the gloppy mess that is Krylon spray paint.

A word about spray painting indoors:  Don't do it.  I was in the garage, with the garage door open, freezing my ass off, and there were still fumes in the house for a while afterwards.  I was so glad that Sofia wasn't there, but the fumes lingered for much too long.  Let me be the PSA for not killing yourself with fumes.  Instead of saying 'use in a well-ventilated area' they should go on and say 'make sure you're all the way outside when you do this, dummy.' 

Anyway, I was against the clock because I only had two and a half hours to get this whole thing done.  Hot gluing the mesh took less than five minutes, and even though the spray paint was gloppy, it dried quickly so at least there's that.

Now, the mesh worked great for the hook back earrings, but I had posts and lever earrings too, neither of which work with mesh.  Lucky for me, my mesh didn't cover the whole frame so I had an open space to string a line of raffia across for the lever backs and ribbon for the posts.  Why raffia?  Isn't the real question here, why *not* raffia?  

I kid - I used raffia because that's the only string-like material I had on hand and I was determined to get this frame done before I had to pick up Sofia.  I hot-glued both, and I must say it's not that bad.

I have far more lever back and post earrings than I do hook-types, so I may cut my mesh and string another line of raffia.  You can't do that with a radiator sheet, so I win.

And, I'll probably switch out the ribbon for something stiffer but it works for now.

It lives to the right of my dresser, where some things got switched out.

Buddha swapped spots with my perfumes and he lives in the guest bedroom now.  My 'good jewelry' is in the small box and the little milk glass dish holds my teeny delicate necklaces.  

There's only a few in there so they don't get tangled.

So far so good, right?  I thought so too.  I was on a roll, and now that I'd separated my good jewelry, got my frame situated, it was time to tackle the necklaces and bracelets with about an hour to spare.  I was ON IT.  

I found my inspiration photo the night before and actually squealed when I saw it.

"Why, that's just a board on a wall!" I said.  "I can totally do that!"

source

Which reminds me of a joke:  What were the redneck's last words before he died?  "Hey y'all, watch this!"

My last words are always "Psh!  I can totally do that!"  

I should have stopped at the frame.  Because you see, this picture doesn't come with a tutorial, so I had to wing it.  Winging it is not my forte - at least not when it comes to power tools.

But that didn't stop me.  I ran to the garage and found a piece of scrap wood.  I measured where I wanted it to go, I cut my wood and skipped off to the bathroom to nail it in place.  Because nails ought to be plenty to hold it in, right?

I rounded up my trusty hammer and nails, eyeballed my piece of wood and drove the first nail in, right in the center.  Success!  This is going to work!  I nailed another in on the right and left side.  "Three nails are plenty," I said, to no one in particular.

I went to yank on it to make sure it was secure and the whole damn thing came right off the wall.  

"Aw DAY-UM!"  PS, I was totally talking out loud.  To an empty house - just so we're clear.  I'm completely insane.

"Well of course, I didn't use enough nails.  I should put more holes in the wall,"  I said.  So that's what I did.  I ran back to the garage, hammered out the original three nails, ran back to the bathroom and hammered five nails this time, each in a new spot.  Keep track kids, that's eight holes in the wall by now.

And the damn thing pulled off the wall again.

"Well obviously nails aren't cutting it.  What I need are screws!"  

So I ran back to the garage, hammered out the nails, hunted down some wood screws, grabbed the drill and ran back to the bathroom.  This damn piece of wood is going to stay on this wall if it's the last thing I do!

Except my screw hit something in the wall and wouldn't go all the way in.  I mean, it went far enough to make another hole, but it was still sticking too far out of the wood.  So I backed it out, leaving a ninth hole in my wood and in the wall.  Nice.

"Oh so it's like that, Mr. Wood?  You think you're cool, you think you're funny?  Well look here, nothing stands in the way of my crafting!  How 'bout I show you what's really goin' on."

That's right.  I went for the nail gun.  The big boy, with the giant damn air compressor.

 This thing is loud, heavy and can Get It Done.

I watched the video, I read the manual, I had the safety glasses, I know what the hell I'm doing. No I don't.  I really really don't.  I shouldn't be allowed around power tools that can kill you.  I started that bad boy, put on my glasses and pulled the trigger.  WaPOW! WaPOW! WaPOW! WaPOW! WaPOW!

That's five more holes in my wood and in the wall.  I was so excited to have that nail gun in my hand, I was dizzy with all that raw power.  That board was In The Wall and it wasn't going anywhere.  I stepped back to admire my handiwork.

And I saw that my board was 46 kinds of crooked.  The right side was all high, the left side all low.

"AW DAY-UM!"  

Remember how I just said that board was In The Wall?  Yeah.  Because it was.  I pried and pried and pried, and then I started praying.  I prayed and prayed and prayed.  Because my husband was going to KILL ME if he came home to a piece of scrap wood nailed all crazy to the wall.  As it is, he doesn't know how many holes are behind the wood.  Except now, I guess he does.  Hi babe!  Love you!

Finally, the wood came down, I ran back to the garage to hammer out the nails, I ran back to the bathroom and I did it again.  WaPOW! WaPOW! WaPOW! WaPOW! WaPOW!

Five new holes - what are we up to now? Nineteen?  Nineteen holes in the wall.  That's how *I* DIY, folks.

BUT!  The board was secure, and it didn't come off the wall.  Besides, wood filler and paint are my best friends and I sure did wood fill the crap out of my swiss-cheese board, and once it was primed and painted you couldn't tell a thing!

All that was Thursday between 9 and 11:30.  I filled the jewelry frame while Sofia napped Thursday afternoon and during today's nap, I returned to my necklace holder, that was now primed and painted and looking as good as new.  

Then I picked up the drill.  I really shouldn't be allowed near power tools.

I bought the hooks for the holder and commenced to drilling my pilot holes.  Did I measure?  Nope.  Did I mark anything?  Of course not!   Did I use a template of any kind?  HA!  Templates are for nerds!  I screwed in my drill bit and got ta drillin'!  I made staggered pilot holes across the length of my board and then screwed in the hooks.

Stopping to document my prowess.

I'm so handy.

Oh, and I swear the board is straight - it's just the camera angle.

Umm.  Except, oops.

My hooks are waaay too close together.

The necklaces are all cramped together - I'd never be able to tell what I had!

DAY-UM!!

I really have no idea how you're supposed to figure out spacing on something like this.  You don't want them jumbled up, but you don't want them so far apart it looks dumb.  I shrugged my shoulders and started screwing the hooks in and hanging the necklaces one by one, making sure they were spaced evenly.

But after 47 easy steps and nineteen holes in the wall, I have my necklace storage!

What's that on the toilet, you ask?

Oh, that's just my ring holder.

Could you die?!

It's just like in the boutiques!

I also got a five dollar bracelet holder - thank you Michael's 40% off coupon!

The milk glass dish holds the other bracelets.

I likes mah arm candy.

Now all my pretties are out in the open where I can see them every day.

I plan to stack stuff underneath my ring holder and put some small pictures on the wall to fill up the space between the two, but for now I'm just glad it's done!

I am 100% positive that there was an easier and better way to do this.  As it is, I have to decide whether or not I want to take everything back down, spackle over all the holes, measure, and re-drill the holes the right way.  OR, I could just leave it.  I don't know if that poor board could take any more holes.

At any rate, I'm counting this as my crafty thing for the month.  Hell, I might count it as my two crafty things for the month for all the trouble this damn thing caused me.

But I've got my jewelry storage and it's not a bait box!