Kicking and screaming

I knew it was going to happen.  It was bound to happen sometime.  Yet, when it actually did I was surprised, caught off guard even.

Ladies, sometime last week........

I got old.

Not quite this old, but you know what I mean.

source - incidentally, an interesting post on being old.  I guess I'm not the only one.

I looked in the mirror one day and saw fine lines under my eyes for the very first time.  Upon closer inspection, I was shocked.  Have the pores on my cheeks and forehead always been this huge?  They were craters, for pete's sake.

Not quite this huge, but you know what I mean.

The creases in my face from sleeping on my stomach don't go away as fast as they used to.  I'm not a morning person - it's legendary, actually - but I really look it now.  The bags under my eyes don't fade as quickly as before, and I swear this all happened overnight.  I went to bed looking decent, I woke up an Old Hag.

Now, rather than retire to my bed to live out the rest of my days in seclusion, I'm choosing Plan B.  That is, fight this shit until I have no fight left.  I've heard of 'growing old gracefully' and that won't be me.  I want to be fly til I die.

Why thank you Internet, for illustrating my feelings oh so well.

Now if it only came in women's sizes.

source

It's time to do work, people.  I was fine with gray hair - I've been gray since I was 23 and I religiously dye the crap out of my hair.  But wrinkles are a whole different story.  There are beauty creams and potions and serums and oils for everything that ails you, and I'm prepared to try them all.  I'm completely okay with crushing up beetle wings and putting the paste on my crow's feet, if it'll make them go away.  If you tell me butterfly tears will give me my old face back, hold on while I get my net.

Now I know that there's nothing short of plastic surgery (which I'm also completely okay with) that will completely erase the effects of time, and even that can get scary.

It's nonsense like this that makes me scared to do anything

but complain about getting old.

I'm not at the plastic surgery stage yet, but I really do want to do something about the fine lines and texture of my skin.  I'm actually starting with natural stuff like milk and honey and mashed-up avocado and stuff like that.  I want to see what that does before I start shelling out the dolla dolla bills for the serums made from unicorn spit.  

Have you experienced this yet?  Did you wake up one morning and not recognize the person staring back at you?  My outside is starting to not match my inside because I don't really feel old.  In my mind, I'm still a spry young chicken.  Crap, isn't that something an old person would say?

Regardless, I'm not going down without a fight.  So, let me have it, you amazing youthful readers.  What's your go-to beauty routine?  The cream you can't live without?  The moisturizer that makes your skin as smooth as a baby's bottom?  Is it made from unicorn spit?

I need help y'all.  I'm not ready to be a full-fledged Old Hag yet.

**PS, I know that beauty comes from within, being confident makes you beautiful, and having a good outlook on life will make you glow, but fine lines, people.  Under the eyes.  Creases on the face.  It's not okay.