My kid won't sleep, Vol. 46802

Just a few minutes ago, I was listening to the heart-wrenching sounds of my daughter screaming her face off "Wanna see Mommy!  Wanna see Mommy!"  It killed me to hear it, but we're at the end of our rope.

Two years.  Two years now, and Sofia still isn't sleeping consistently.  That's not to say she's never slept through the night or taken good naps because she's done both.  We just haven't stumbled on any magic formula or routine that will yield consistent results.

She's no longer teething, she's fully weaned, there haven't been any major growth spurts, nothing to point to that would say 'well *there's* your problem!'  It's always been hit or miss and I've begun to think that parents who say their children sleep 12 hours every single night or take two and three hour naps every day are dirty rotten lying liars.

This is a big fat lie.  A LIE I tell you.

So, we're at the last resort:  Once again, I'm calling in the big guns.  This time, Daddy is going in from start to finish.  I'm completely out of the picture because we're thinking that Sofia is so attached to me that she doesn't want to be away from me even to sleep.  I can respect that - I mean, she's my homie.  We do everything together and save the four hours a week that she's at her 'school', we're never apart.  I put her to bed every night and now that we're not nursing, we just cuddle up in her armchair and I sing to her until she falls asleep.  I tried the 'putting her down drowsy' thing and she loudly let me know that was not at all acceptable.  So I sing until she's completely out.  It's just that the child can be dead asleep in my arms, snoring, but the second I ever so gently get up from the chair and try to lay her in her crib, she's wide awake whimpering "Lay down together Mommy."  If I don't return to the armchair or lay down with her, the whimpering turns to wide-awake hysterics.  It takes nearly two hours to get her to sleep at night.  EVERY NIGHT.  And after two years, It's time for a change.

I have always been heartily against crying it out and I'm still not prepared to do it now.  However, it's not because of the whole 'you're scarring your kid for life' thing.  It's because it doesn't work long term - at least according to my logic.  

Say you bite the bullet and let the kid cry it out for a few days.  Eventually they give up/get the hang of it and go to sleep with no problems.  That's great, until something happens that throws them off - travel, illness, growth, etc.  Once you get back from your trip, what are you supposed to do?  Make them cry it out again?  And then again when they're sick and they've gotten better?  I mean, I'd be all for crying it out if it was a one-time, few-days type of thing and the kid is 'cured.' But it doesn't work that way (at least for my kid) and I just can't rationalize all that freaking out - me *and* Sofia.

So we tried co-sleeping, thinking maybe she's just going through a clingy phase.  Plus, let's be honest - I'm tired, and sitting in the chair snuggling with her and falling asleep upright is not the the business.  We're not against co-sleeping, but we are against getting kicked in the face all night long, because Sofia likes her space.  

 Sofia's favorite is a combination of the Roundhouse Kick and the H is for Hell.  

She would kindly alternate kicking and headbutting us.  

ALL NIGHT LONG.

image courtesy

Co-sleeping wasn't working and laying in her bed with her wasn't doing it either.  Good thing I'm still somewhat limber from yoga because I have to bend myself all kind of ways to cram myself into her bed with her, and then channel my inner ninja to get out of the bed when she finally falls asleep.  Two hours later.  It all sucked, and I just couldn't do it anymore.

That leaves us with Daddy.  Daddy who has never ever put her to bed - he's the relief pitcher who comes in when I'm at the end of my rope and Sofia is physically too exhausted to fight anymore.  Daddy, who gives the good-night kiss and leaves Mommy and Sofia to snuggle in the chair, which in Sofia's world is just as it should be.  So you can imagine the screams that came out of her poor little body when I kissed her and told her I'd see her in the morning.  She screamed like the world was going to end.  And she kept on screaming, getting louder and more hysterical.  

Drew was not prepared.  As I said, he's never ever put her to bed before and there is no way to steel yourself against the wrath of a sleepy toddler with separation anxiety whose routine has just been changed.  But here's the kicker:  20 minutes.  It took her 20 minutes before he walked out of her room, looking like he'd come through a war, but the child was asleep.  

Now I know it probably felt like two hours to him and I know she probably pushed him away and that probably hurt his feelings, but he did it.  He put her to sleep from start to finish in 20 minutes.  That is a beautiful thing.  Now all we have to do is stick with it.  They say it takes at least a week to establish and enforce a routine, so for the rest of this week Drew will put her to sleep from start to finish.  I pray that it will get easier and it will be less violent, because something has to give.  We all need sleep in this house:  The growing toddler, the working father, the mom who has to be 'on' 24-7.  There's a reason sleep deprivation is a torture device.

So cross your fingers for our little family and let's hope that Sofia gets it all sorted out sooner rather than later.  

It's so hard to be a baby.

Do you remember that song?  Just me?  

That video is a TRIP.

I swear, I'm the only one who remembers ridiculous things like this

but can't remember where I put my keys.