You gotta want it

The Monday after our reception, I went to my OB to have my bloodwork done.  I got the 'habitual aborter' panel - isn't that a great label?  I didn't know that they're called abortions no matter what.  Elective, missed, spontaneous - all abortions, there's no distinction.  As if I'm doing this on purpose.  Miscarriage isn't much better - as if I'm doing something wrong, like I'm not following the directions.  I know it's just medical terminology, but it stings just the same.


I'm proud to report that I didn't freak out as badly with this blood draw as I have in the past.  The good thing about having the same doctor is that they can get to know you and make allowances for your idiosyncrasies.  In my case, they put me in an exam room so that I can lie down and no one can hear me hyperventilate and cry and carry on.  Although, I do wonder if they do it more for me or for the other patients - not that I really care.  I definitely wish I could be one of those people that can calmly sit and have blood sucked out of my body.  I hate that I go into a mild state of shock every time.  It always takes a solid ten minutes to stop shaking and I wish I were stronger.  At any rate, I got through the blood draw with minimal drama.  I didn't cry until after he finished and I took my time waiting for the room to stop spinning and for the feeling to return to my face.


A few weeks later, she called with the results.  My bloodwork came back 'funky' - her exact words.  My homocysteine and Protein C levels were a little outside the range of normal but she didn't want to try and interpret those since she wasn't a hematologist.  Of course, I consulted Dr. Google and those are markers for clotting disorders.  I was realllly hoping that it wasn't that particular issue because I knew what that meant.


More needles.  I hate needles.


This past Thursday I went to a hematologist so that he could give me a more accurate read of my levels - although I appreciate my OB, I'd really like a better diagnosis than 'funky' levels.  I was so nervous to have more blood drawn.  I didn't see the point - can't they just do with what they already have?  


The hematologist was really nice and he became nicer in my eyes when he told me that I wouldn't need more blood drawn.  Thank GAWD!  However, it's because he didn't think it would do any good since my levels weren't far enough outside the range of normal to give an accurate diagnosis.  In other words, he didn't know why I was having miscarriages either but he didn't think it was because I have a clotting disorder.  Awesome.


Since I'm losing them so early, there's not a clear indicator as to the proper course of action.  His recommendation is to go ahead with LMWH - low molecular weight heparin.  It's a blood thinner, on the off chance that my body is producing microscopic clots that prevent an embryo from attaching properly or receiving a good oxygen supply.


We left the office with no more answers than before.  The blood thinners are not clearly medically indicated and it's a once-a-day thing for the entire time I would be pregnant.  Needles.  In the lower abdomen - the ute.  Every day for ten months.  I got prollems with that.


However, if I don't take the shots and have another miscarriage, y'all will get a front row seat for my ride to the loony bin because the what ifs will end me - would I have had a fourth loss if I'd done the shots?  Did my inability to man up cost me another child?  Did my selfishness ruin me?  Not pretty to contemplate.


I would have to start the shots the second I get pregnant again.  I'm not looking forward to it and I have an appointment with a fertility specialist to get his take on things.  I just don't feel I have much of a choice because risking another loss is not a gamble I'm willing to take.  I can't be okay with knowing there was something I could have done, even though the early losses mean there's no real way to tell if this is indeed the cause.


I never thought I'd have to answer that question - how bad do you want this?  I never thought I'd have to decide how far I'm willing to go to be a mother.  I know there are countless women that have stood in my exact spot and they have gone to the ends of the earth to have a child, and others that have gracefully accepted their childless fate, and still others who have gone down kicking and screaming but have gone down nonetheless.


Which one is me?  How bad do I want this?  How far will I go?  How many more losses can I endure?  I feel like I'm taking the first step into a battle and I'm still not sure if I'm willing to fight.

Accessorizing - with an able assist

As soon as I finished writing about the guest bedroom Sunday night, I began brainstorming ways to accessorize it.  Monday morning, I unpacked the final box of odds and ends that I cleverly hid in the pictures and put everything in its proper place.  Then I went shopping - I hit a couple of thrift stores hoping to find a chair to re-do, but to no avail.  I bought fabric for the seat cover, I printed some pictures for some frames, I bought spray paint and I found my nightstand!  I'd been looking for a nightstand for the bedside but wasn't having much luck since the platform bed was so low.  I knew I'd need something non-traditional and thought a garden stool might work.  I found one at Target and crossed my fingers.

The one I got was similar to this one and only $50.

 I can't believe it's almost $200 online!

Unfortunately, once home I discovered that the stool was too small for that space.  When I returned it, I stopped at the Ross next door and just about did a happy dance in the aisle when I found a woven storage cube that was just the right size - plus it was only $30!  Holla!  Along with my trusty assistant Maya, I spent today decorating!

First up were the picture frames I found in the box - there was nothing wrong with them that a little black and white spray paint couldn't fix.

  I don't even remember where that gold frame came from and

the brown frame is Drew's.  Since all the frames in the house are black,

these too must be assimilated!

I sprayed the mats white to match the rest of 

the mats in the house.

Remember when I said spray paint is not my friend?  Turns out I was just using the wrong kind!  

It goes on smooth, the nozzle doesn't clog and I'm pretty much in love.

I sprayed the frames black and while those dried, I turned to the seat cover.  Black and white no longer fit the room, so I went back to my favorite fabric store to find a neutral fabric with some blue.  It's like they knew I was coming!  Either that, or I'm not very unique and everybody's decorating in neutral tones with a bit of blue.  I don't care - I found a great fabric at a great price so I was happy.  You remember how much trouble I had covering the seat the first time?  Well, I got smart this time!  Thanks to a YouTube video, my problem was solved!  Forgive me if y'all already know this and I'm tardy to the party but I was giddy - giddy when I saw that video.  Last time I messed up by trying to staple an entire side before moving on, making my pattern all wonky each time I finished a side.  I ended up with a crooked pattern and I was not pleased.  But I learned this time!

It's so simple - secure the fabric with one staple at each side so your pattern won't slip as you staple!  Revolutionary!  Changed my life!  And it went soooo much faster!

New fabric - I even used more batting to plump up the seat!

Before, when it was in the sitting room

After, in the guest bedroom

The fabric is a little greener than the walls, but I don't 

mind that it doesn't match perfectly.

I'm just tickled that the pattern is straight.

Maya making sure that it meets with her approval

I like it Mom!

Next was the storage cube.  Having checked that the white spray paint wasn't too bright, I went after it.

Yeah Mom, I think this will work.

I know, I bought it.  Can you please move so I can get a before shot?

Oh, sorry.

Thank you.

Perfect size, just too dark.  Luckily, I can fix that!

Awaiting transformation

First coat - please hold while I run to Lowe's for some more spray paint

By this time, the frames had dried and I assembled them while I waited for the cube.  Once that was done, it was back to the guest room to address the cord issue.  In Target, I had an a-ha moment and thought about hanging hooks to the underside of the desk to hide the cords.  I got some $2 mug hooks and hoped it would work.

I hope those work Mom!

Yeah me too.

Messy cords

Success!

No more messy cords!

Obviously there's still the one for the power strip, but I can deal with that.

The cord on the desk is for Drew's computer and if 

I were really anal I suppose I could tuck it behind the boxes.  

But I'm not, and this is good enough for me.

By this time, the cube was dry enough and I wanted some after pictures!  

Much better!

Accessorized with some tealights, a magnolia bloom from our backyard

and a photo from our trip to Santa Fe.

The other frame is in the dining room with a picture from 

Paris and the gardens where we got married.

Next on the list was the clog in the bathroom.  While that's not really decorating, spending all that time in the bathtub made me realize how grody our shower curtain liner was so I bought a new fabric one.  But back to the clog.

Yup, that sure is nasty Mom.

Yes I know - it's actually your fault.

About a week ago, when I wasn't home, my darling husband decided that he would give the dog a bath since she'd gotten muddy on their walk.  He bathed her inside the house.  In the bathtub.  And then looked surprised when the drain got clogged.  And then asked me to do something about it since he was out of town.

From now on, the dog gets hosed off outside or she goes to the groomer.  That's the rule.

Sorry Mom.  Dad said it was okay.

I know he did and we're having a conversation when he gets home.

I'm bored - can we play?

In a minute.

I tried everything they said on YHL.  I did the baking soda and vinegar.  I plunged like it was my job and I was working overtime.  I pulled out nasty grody disgusting hairballs.  I did more baking soda and vinegar and plunged some more.  It drained, just painfully slowly.  I finally gave up and went to Target for some Liquid Plumr foam stuff - which did absolutely nothing.  I poured the whole bottle down the drain, waited and then took a shower, only to end up standing in ankle-deep water.  Thirty minutes later it drained, leaving behind all my sweat and paint and general nastiness, (I jogged with the dog today!  Me!  And I lived to tell the tale!) which I had to clean all over again.  This time I went to Lowe's since I had to return the extra can of spray paint I got and bought some Drano Max gel.  Once again, I poured the bottle down the drain and I'm praying to the baby Jesus that it's okay by morning.

I'm really happy with the way my accessories turned out for the bedroom.  I'm still looking for my chair and I'm confident I'll find it.  I found a couple on craigslist but they were selling for three and four hundred dollars!  Look, if you're listing something on craigslist you have no business charging for it like it's new.  My other favorite is when people say 'I paid $4000 for this so I'm selling it at a loss for $400.'  No one cares what you paid - all that matters is what it's worth now.  Telling someone what you paid for it is just an attempt to justify a high asking price.  Yet, I'm talking out of both sides of my mouth because we paid a pretty penny for our dining room table from craigslist - but that I could swallow.  It's very unique and very well made, so I was okay with the price.  It's the junk that gets me!  Stuff that's ripped, dated and raggedy - and they want $375 for it.  Not for real!

However, I refuse to give up hope that the chair I want can be had for cheap.  I've already got a few more thrift stores on my list and I'm sure I'll find it!

Tomorrow - turning in the sexy sports car and getting more blood drawn.  One yippee, one boo hiss!!

The sincerest form of flattery

Interior design/home decorating was never an interest of mine until we moved to our house - suddenly I was all over the internet, looking at design blogs, brainstorming what would work in our house and stopping at nearly every thrift store and garage sale I saw.  I've gone from being insanely intimidated to shrugging my shoulders and plunging right in - sometimes with great results, and sometimes with decent results and much cursing.


Hands down, the website I turn to again and again is Young House Love.  John and Sherry (see how I talk like I know them?  It's an act.  I would probably dissolve into a pile of rainbows and glitter if I ever met them) have an older house somewhat similar to ours.  Because of them, I've learned how to paint furniture, I've made a gift-wrapping station, I got boxes for our desk, I frosted our windows and I'm about to tackle the clog in our bathroom.  My name is Desiree, and I am a Young House-aholic.


The latest in my Young House adulation is the dresser in our guest bedroom.  The first time I cleaned it out was in preparation for Drew's parents to visit.  Prior to that, it was a catch-all room for all junk and leftover boxes that I hadn't gotten around to unpacking and sorting.  Whenever we had guests, that door stayed closed.  


Having his parents over was a great motivation to straighten and finally decorate it, because once I cleaned it out the only thing in the room was a bed and my office cabinet.  It looked so bare and sad, so I jumped on craigslist to find a dresser.  Imagine my giddiness when I found a dresser identical to the one John and Sherry redid for their nursery!  I contacted the guy and rushed out to buy it because thanks to them, I already knew the dimensions and knew it would fit perfectly in our guest bedroom.

I paid more for mine than they did - even on craigslist,

things are more expensive in the big city.

I wanted to stain the dresser to match our

 cherry-colored platform bed .

I'd never worked with stain before, but I had no fear because they do such detailed tutorials that it's really hard to mess up.  Drew and I hauled it out to the garage and I got to work.

Sanded to within an inch of its life.  

By hand - I want an electric sander next time.

Staining the drawers - it's a pretty good match!

I used Cabot stain - Minwax's cherry wasn't the right color.

I also decided to paint the top of the dresser white, like they did.  When Drew is in town he works from home, using the white desk in the sitting room.  However, he really needed to be able to shut the door when he was on calls so we moved it to the guest bedroom.  With the white desk and the cherry bed, I figured a cherry dresser with a white top would tie the two together nicely.  I was right!  Check it out!

I love the three stripes on the side.  

They didn't show up until I stained it and it was such a cool bonus!

The plant was a housewarming gift from Kristina and I haven't killed it!  Yea me!

Detail

Standing in the doorway.  

Maya came in and hopped on the bed

but she was too much of a diva to look at the camera.

I would love to hide the cords and have a home for our printer 

like they do, but I'm too OCD to sit off to one side of the desk.

I'm also going to recover the seat of the chair since the black

and white fabric doesn't go with the warm tones of the wood.

This corner needs something.

Now that the dresser is the only thing on this wall, you can really tell that it needs accesorizing.  I'd like to find a chair to put in that corner - maybe a floor lamp as well?  My new favorite blog, Better After did a post on chairs today that has me itching to hit the thrift stores!  I want something like this.

Image source

I love the lines of this chair - I would paint it white

and do a neutral fabric with some blue in it. 

I feel like the picture above the dresser needs to be a little lower. 

What do y'all think?

I'm so happy that the guest bedroom is finished, and by finished I mean we can actually show this room as part of our house tour when we have company.  I still have to get a small accent table for the side of the bed and I'm now on the hunt for a chair!  

Most importantly, Maya has another throne to claim.

She likes every bed but the one we bought especially for her.

Go figure.

PS - Check out how I finished the room!