Hello body, so nice to see you again

Last week, I was in terrible pain.  My stomach hurt so bad I wanted someone to just take me out back and shoot me to put me out of my misery.  It felt like hunger pains, gas and like I had to go to the bathroom all rolled into one and it sucked, because of course I was alone and of course, when you're a mom life doesn't stop just because your stomach hurts.  Nothing made it feel better and it was super fun when Sofia wanted me to pick her up and would get excited over the sky being blue and kick me in the stomach.  Thankfully, that didn't happen too often because I would very gently have to put her down and then double over as I silently begged for the sweet mercy of death.


Since we leave for vacation on Saturday, (Kauai here we come!  Yay!  Flying with a toddler! Boo!) I wanted to get checked out before we left just in case, because ain't nothin' gettin' in the way of my vacation dammit!


Friday was the third straight day of nonstop pain and I carried my ass to the doctor, where I got prodded and she *actually* asked me if I was under any stress.  I straight-up laughed at her and went "Let me break it down for you."  After telling her about the dog, the husband traveling, the toddler and the house-selling, she was all "Yeah you need a stress outlet."  


My diagnosis:  Gastritis.  It's a fancy medical term for a stomachache and she gave me some over the counter Prilosec that fixed me right up.  But here's the thing - if you don't do something about your stress-induced stomachache, it turns into an ulcer.  Ulcers are very no bueno and that got my attention quick.  I shot off a quick text to Kristin.

Get bendy - doctor's orders

Driving home, I was angry.  Angry that all this shit is taking a toll on my health.  I'm stress skinny, I'm on anti-anxiety meds and now I have to take more pills to keep my stomach from dissolving itself.  I was angry that I had to take yet another pill because I hate pills.  I'm healthy - healthy people don't take pills.  I was angry that my stomach is eating itself because I have no stress outlet.  Most of all, I was angry that I was too depressed to take action and in that moment I decided to get back in the studio no matter what.

And today I did and I feel so much better!

Kristin and I have worked it out where we watch each other's kids while we work out, so I dropped Sofia off at her house and headed to a noon class at my old studio.  When the first strains of that chill yoga music came over the speakers, I felt at home.  As a bonus, the instructor of the class was French and her sweet accented voice guided us into the most perfect class that was everything I needed.  That hour was mine.  I pressed into my downward-facing dog and it felt like a massage for my poor shoulders.  

They may shed all over the place, but they do have 

a handle on stress relief!

When I raised my leg in single leg down dog, I felt like

it would touch the sky.

What's more, this particular instructor taught my class!  What I mean is, the sequences and poses she used were pretty much exactly what I use to use when I taught classes, which isn't surprising since we were trained by the same instructors.  The class was challenging, the pace was even and I worked up a sweat!  So not only did I get a great practice, I finally answered my own question of whether or not I was a good instructor.  Short of having someone video your class, it's hard to tell if you're doing it right and if you're giving your students what they need.  It was really cool to take 'my' class and I allowed myself a teeny pat on the back of 'huh, I guess I'm not bad after all.'

Sofia will start her Parents Day Out program when we get back and Kristin and I have made a pact with each other to stick with our baby-sitting/workout plan.  Between that and vacation, I'm really hoping that my stomach will get the message and calm the F down so I don't have to take more pills.  I'm also hoping that a regular practice will enable me to get off the Zoloft too because it's giving me night sweats and there is nothing sexier than waking up in the middle of the night with your pjs sticking to your body.

I'm so glad I took that first step today because stress is a monster and it will surely destroy you.  However, I have no intention of letting it get that far.  Even though gastritis isn't that big a deal, an ulcer totally is and I will do anything to keep from getting one.  I drove away from class, feeling better than I had in a long time.

Plus, my hips are soooo open right now.

Namaste, mutha-f*cka!