But at long last, I could see with my own eyes that there is indeed a little Nugget in there. Look!
I'm so sorry, I've tried a ton of times to embed the video but it keeps failing and I'm not savvy enough to figure out another way. If any of you have ideas, please let me know.
Anyway, it was a wonderful experience and I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw that little flickering heartbeat. My doctor told me that my chance for miscarriage is drastically reduced since the heart is actually beating and the beats per minute are nice and strong. I was so happy!! I had tons of questions for her and found it really interesting that Drew did not. Although he doesn't get the deer in the headlights look, I can tell when he gets quiet that his brain is working overtime.
We talked about diet and exercise and she signed a release form for me to take prenatal yoga which I'm very excited about! It'll be fun to be a student again. Additionally, I asked her when we would begin to discuss the birth itself and how that would all go down. Originally, I wanted to have a homebirth with midwives but that was quickly nixed when Drew started hyperventilating and turning purple at the thought of me giving birth at home. We then toured a birth center and that's still on the table but we're still in discussion. Drew thinks that hospitals are the only places you should have a baby and I'm very much against all the interventions that they do in the name of 'hospital policy' and not because it's in the best interest of the mother and baby. I read Rixa's blog daily and I've watched The Business of Being Born and I have the book, so I'm all about as few interventions as possible.
I fully expected to encounter resistance with my doctor when I told her that my aim was for zero medical interventions but she's very supportive and while it was only one conversation, I'm not as dead-set against hospitals as I was pre-pregnancy. Thank goodness I have at least eight months to figure this out and I suspect we'll be having many more conversations about this before it's all said and done.
That said, upon seeing that sonogram and laying eyes on that little heartbeat I knew that I was not in as much control as I thought and that the only way for me to keep from going absolutely nutso over this whole thing is to turn it all over to God. I'm going to do everything in my power by eating right and staying fit so my little Nugget has a safe home to grow in, but everything else is in God's hands. God's watching over this baby and whatever is supposed to happen will and that's all right.
Oh, and just in case there wasn't enough drama and excitement at that visit, I had to have my blood drawn again. Yeah, it was just as bad as last time except this time Drew got a front row seat. The worst part is that I put on full makeup with optimistic hope and by the time they were finished I totally looked like Alice Cooper - which was a great look for me. I was crying and hyperventilating again, the same nurse came in to help out and I got TWO lollipops this time. They probably felt sorry for me because I made such a scene. When I was finally able to leave, I could stand up but I was shaking uncontrollably for a good ten minutes after. Drew kept asking me if I was cold and I told him, no this is just what happens when I get my blood drawn. And he thought I was making up the whole needle thing.
And these jokers want to put a needle in my spine!!?? Not even a little bit. Give me pain any day; you and your needles can blow it out your ass.
Yay! How exciting! :)
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