You know what you should do....

I need your help y'all.  If you follow or lurk or whatever, perk up!  I seriously don't know what to do so I thought I'd come to y'all to see what you think.  Ok, here goes...

Well, pretty much ever since puberty when the boys started taking notice I realized that I'm rather easy on the eyes.  I'm eternally grateful to the Big Man for blessing me and looks are fleeting and you better have something to back up the beauty and blah blah blah.  Bottom line, I know I'm pretty, but I don't have my head up my ass about it, so let's move on to my issue.

So, back when Drew and I first got engaged (like a couple months ago, which is an eternity in internet years) I was researching wedding bands for him.  Kesha told me that there was a guy at the jewelry kiosk in the lower lobby and I should go talk to him about rings, that he knew all there was to know.  Well, I'm all for that.  So I went down to introduce myself to him.

There is a certain look when men see me and they like what they see.  It instantly puts me on guard and I get really polite and professional.  Snobby if you will, but only because I don't want anything I do or say to be misconstrued as flirting or encouragement.  But here's the fine line that I constantly walk -- not all men are trying to get in my pants, some are just nice and that's it.  But sometimes it bites me in the ass - I start thinking 'Gah, Desiree you are not that cute and not every man wants to hump you.  Get over yourself.'  And then I find myself here.

So the Jewelry Dude (who shall henceforth be known as JD) is slick, smooth and suav-ay (it's a word, swear).  I figure I'm safe because I'm talking to him about wedding rings for my future husband.  He's an impressive salesman and I'm a sucker for salesmen which is why I hate them.  I'm totally that person who will get suckered in by a fast-talking salesman and buy a bunch of crap I don't need because I'm too much of a wimp to say no.  So anymore, if a salesman is anywhere near me I usually will yell out 'NO, STOP' like they teach you in elementary school and then I run away.  *sigh*  Not really, nine times out of ten they get me and I end up with crap I don't need.

But JD.  So he shows me his catalog of rings and we get to talking about me and my personal life.  I find myself telling this near total stranger about the nonsense going on with my dad.  So slick, JD.  How did this happen?  Before I know it, I've said way too much and I'm late getting home.  I even told him about my frustrations with the dog!  Is he that good or am I in that much need of a life??  I'm going with he's that good.  So, he gets my email address to send me pictures of some other rings that I may like.  I give him my gmail address because it's "more professional".  Apparently, you can have the 'regular' email that you give your friends and then you have to have the 'professional' one that goes on resumes and such.  But here's the thing - and I'm sure you know this - gmail has the chat feature.  You can instantly chat with anyone that has gmail if they've ever sent you an email. 

A few days after he sent me the email with the rings and I tell him great, I'll get back to you, a gmail chat pops up and it's the JD!!  In my gut-spilling first encounter with him I told him I was Mexican so he's all 'ola seniorita' which incidentally, is the most annoying thing ever.  If you don't speak Spanish, and you have not properly excused yourself by saying you don't speak Spanish, don't do it.  Speak English.  It's okay, I'll understand you.

But back to the gmail chat.  What do I do?  What I should have done was been like, 'please don't chat to me, it's not appropriate.'  But then that's where I start walking the fine line.  That's kind of a bitchy response to someone who's just wanting to say hi.  Not as bitchy to a pushy saleman, but still.  But what did dumb Desiree do?  Had to be polite - I was all 'hi there, how are you?' *smacking my forehead*

Now it's gotten worse!  He started asking me out to lunch!  Granted, it was like 'do you want to go over to the food court at the same time that's in the same building where we both work' not like 'hey baby, let's have a candlelight dinner at an Italian bistro' but still!  Then it got even worse!  I opened my fat mouth about the housewarming party and then I felt dumb and then I invited him!  I told Drew all about him and he was like 'if he's a slime he won't come to the house and if he does come to the house I'll deal with him.' 

He came to the house with his wife and was appropriately behaved the entire time.  Drew thought he was a decent enough guy so then I'm thinking it's all in my head.  But I've found myself pretending to be on my phone when I walk by his kiosk so I don't have to talk to him - but sometimes I forget and he stops me and then we talk and since I have no filter it'll come out that Drew's out of town or something and then he asks me out to eat!  After work!  And I'm like, 'okay, this is beyond wanting to sell me a ring!'  Isn't it?

One time, when he was chatting with me (against my will)  he asked me if I'd told Drew about him (pre-housewarming) and I answered honestly that it hadn't come up.  He said 'oh so am I your secret?'  MASSIVE RED FLAGS went up everywhere!  I was like, 'no I don't keep things from my boyfriend.  Ever.'  That is just not how I get down.  Then he was all, 'I'm just joking' and I was like yeah right.

And I've even told him I'm pregnant!  And he still wants to grab a salad and some lemonade (gotta keep the little one safe - he said that to me!) after work sometime! 

Ok, seriously, am I being paranoid?  Is he just a pushy salesguy or is he a creepo?  And how do I tell him that I do not want him chatting to me nor will I ever go for a salad or lunch or anything with him ever?  I'm not trying to be mean but seriously!  Any help y'all?