They giveth, and they taketh away

I'm talking about my boobs.  It's only fitting because it's World Breastfeeding Week, where women all over the world celebrate their boobies.  Me, I can't stop looking at my baby's chunky thighs and her roly-poly arms and say Way to go, ME!  *I* did that!

Such a skinny little mouse

Look at them THICK thighs!

I'm so thankful that I'm able to breastfeed and that with a couple of lactation consultant visits, we got the kinks ironed out.  It's the most common misconception, that breastfeeding is easy.  It's most definitely not and I know I wouldn't have been able to make it through without help and support.

Besides, breastfeeding giveth!

Thanks to my boobies, I got a serious case of the skinnies.  I'm thinner now than I was before I got pregnant.  I haven't been this skinny in years and it's ah-mah-zing!  Yesterday I put on a pair of shorts that were baggy and that's not acceptable.  I already have a pathetic wardrobe - it's way worse when your pathetic wardrobe hangs off of you.  That's when you know you need an intervention.  Or a shopping spree.  So I ditched those shorts and went in search of my Holy Grail Jeans.  We all have them - that one pair you can't get rid of because you just KNOW you'll fit into them.  One day.

Yesterday was that day, y'all!  I pulled them out, blew the dust off of them and slid them right on!  No pulling, tugging, swearing, nothing!  It was beautiful and I kissed Sofia for a good five minutes and danced around and sang and looked like a fool.  A fool in skinny jeans!

They even make my non-existent ass look good!

Because oh yes, breastfeeding taketh away.

I stopped teaching yoga when I was about six months pregnant.  I also stopped going at that time.  I stopped doing everything that required any extra movement beyond going to the bathroom.  I haven't stepped foot in a yoga studio since and I feel it and look it.  I may be skinny but I have zero muscle tone.  ZERO.  And you know what's nothing but a big ol' muscle?

MY ASS.

I have lost my ass.  It's gone.  There's nothing back there but flab.  I wish I could wear my Holy Grail Jeans all day every day because when I take them off, what little ass I have stays in the jeans and it's so very sad.  It's so flat and flabby and depressing.  I used to have the cutest, perkiest little booty and it's all gone now.  I have a Mom Ass.

The saddest part is where the bottom of my ass just fades into the tops of my legs.

These are not Holy Grail Jeans.

Remember when I said I was looking for my abs?  Yeah, add my ass to the list.