Why I'm glad to be an older mom

I've started and deleted a ton of posts this week because they were all absolute shit.  I was beginning to worry that I'd lost my blogging mojo, but thankfully I was driving home this morning and this post came to mind.  So, in honor of Mother's Day and whenever I get down on myself that I'm sooooo oooollld  I thought I'd remind myself and maybe some other moms about why it's great to a Mom of a Certain Age.

Thing Number One, the absolute most awesome thing about being an older mom:  

The Absence of the Drahmz.

source

I've been reading random mom blogs and I tell you what, the drama is so tiring.  Women judge each other - it's in our DNA.  I swear, if I hear one more mom whine "Can't we all just get along?  We should suppoooooort each other, we're mooooooooommmmms."  Get the fuck outta here.  You put your shit out there, you're going to get judged or supported and the best benefit about being older is that you have the strength to accept it all.  I wish the hell I would care about what someone says about my parenting.  As a near-40 mom, I know I'm doing the best I can and I know my heart is always in the right place and all the rest is just noise. 

Support and positive female energy is vital and I would not be able to get along without my mom friends, and God KNOWS I have boatloads of self-doubt but I promise you, if someone dared to say something to be about the way I parent my daughter, they would get turtle-slapped.

The next most awesome thing about being an older mom:  

Patience

 

When don't you need a picture of Betty White with a gun?

Now, let's be clear - I have patience with my kid.  I'm late everywhere, and I'm okay with that because Sofia is learning how to put on her own shoes.  Her clothes are always dirty because she's learning how to properly hold a spoon and keep the yogurt in the spoon.  She gets her clothes and our furniture dirty, and I just shrug because it's just stuff.  And I really mean that.  As you age, the chances of bad shit happening to you increases because that's just life.  And when really bad shit happens, yogurt on the sofa isn't that major.  Go get a soapy rag and if it comes out, cool.  If not, that means you have kids in your house and that's a blessing.  Embrace your yogurt-covered sofa.  And make her eat at the table until she gets the hang of the spoon thing.

I wasn't always this way and I think being high-drama is a function of youth - I know it was for me.  You never met a more high-drama chick than I was in my 20s.  Just thinking about how I used to be makes me want to punch myself because seriously?  Your stupid boyfriend didn't call you and you have to get in your car and go to the club where you know he'll be and march in like an idiot and drag him out to yell at him outside the club?  REALLY?  And yes, I've done that before and I'm So Effing Thankful that those days are long behind me and will never return.

I still get angry, I still get sad, I still cry and I sure get frustrated when Sofia won't sleep or eat fruit but somehow these things just aren't the life and death situations they could be if I didn't have the perspective that time and maturity gives you.

However, as an older mom, I have zero problems with cutting out the nonsense in my life.

I used to be far more concerned with what people thought of me.  Now that I'm a mom, I'm way more concerned with what my daughter thinks of me.  I'm her role model and I take that job seriously.  I want her to see me being polite, I want her to see me helping strangers, I want her to see me smiling more than I frown.

But make no mistake, she will also see me stand up for myself, she will see me put somebody in their place if they're getting big, and she will know that her mother is not one to suffer fools gladly.  Now, I'm sure there are some 20-year-olds who have their shit together and are self-aware and self-assured and know their place in the world, but I sure didn't when I was 20.  I didn't get the self-confidence to occupy my space until I was in my 30s and most definitely not until I was a mom.  Having Sofia made my purpose on this Earth crystal clear and all the nonsense just fell away.

A great benefit of being older and more self-assured is: 

 I'm secure in my parenting methods.

 I couldn't find one that said my kid, my rules

but you get the idea.

I read the internet all day long for parenting tips.  I ask my mom friends with older kids.  I get advice from every possible outlet, but in the end it's just me and Sofia (Drew too, but you know what I mean.)  And I'm okay with that.  I feel good about the choices I make in raising my daughter and I don't let other people make me feel bad for going right instead of left.  She's my kid, I'm her mom and that's all that matters.  Besides, she's a healthy happy baby kid (she's not a baby anymore, I have to stop saying that) so I must not be messing up that badly.  I still worry about her and I will until I die but bottom line, I'm doing a good job raising my daughter and I'm proud of both of us.

I no longer have any shame about anything.  Trust me, this is a good thing.  When I was younger, you wouldn't catch me dead leaving the house without my hair, makeup and outfit being DONE.  Now?  Psssh.  I'm doing good to leave the house with only one stain on my shirt. I used to get mortified about that stuff, but now I just shrug and get on with my life.  Bodily fluids are the great equalizer.  You can't take yourself seriously when you're covered in baby spit-up/toddler vomit.

But more importantly and more awesomely, I have no shame about asking for and accepting help.  The younger me would be afraid of judgement and sought to keep up appearances at all costs.  Never let 'em see you sweat right?  Now I'm like, oh yeah, I'm one sweaty bitch!  If someone offered me help, I would be like, no it's okay, I've got it.  Now I'm like, Oh my God YES PLEASE!  Help me with EVERYTHING!  And I could give two shits if I get judged.  Talk about my ass all you want - just make sure I never hear it.  Otherwise, I have to turtle slap you.  That's the rules.

Okay, so those are the things that I like best about being an older mom.  Of course, I'm only thinking about my perspective and my story and these things could only apply to just me.  But maybe they don't.  Maybe you're younger than I am and you have your shit together already and you can appreciate these things before 37, unlike me.  Or maybe you like different things about being an older mom.  Or just being a mom in general.

So lay it on me:  In honor of Mother's Day, what the best part about being a mom?  And I'm not talking about the obvious stuff like OMG, I didn't know I could love someone so much.  Duh that.  I'm talking about, are you finally free to walk out of the house in mismatched shoes and you hold your head high because at least you're wearing shoes?