In praise of doctors and nurses

When all the horribleness that happened, I gained a new respect for doctors and nurses.  I really like my doctor because she is almost always super upbeat and cheeleader-ish.  She talks really fast and brings a ton of energy into the exam room.  I naively thought that all patients were like how I used to be:  healthy, happy and in the doctor's office for easy routine maintenance.  I honestly thought that she had it so good:  come in, make small talk and catch up with her super sweet and awesome patients (me), have a day full of patients like me, and head home at 4pm in her Mercedes.

Getting a peek behind the curtain gave me a new perspective.  I know I'm not the only person in her office that has had a miscarriage or even a problem pregancy for that matter.  I'm sure that after my appointment with her she had to put on a happy face to see her next patient who is having a healthy pregnancy with no problems.  Going from serious to bubbly like that must be so difficult.  Or maybe it's not - maybe she's compartmentalized her feelings so well that she can transition easily as she goes from exam room to exam room.  But my goodness, how do you do that?  How do you go from one room talking to a woman about her dead baby, or God forbid, talking to a woman who's had lots of dead babies, to being happy and upbeat about another woman's healthy baby knowing that you can lose a perfectly viable pregnancy at any point? 

I know OBs see all of it:  birth defects, crack babies, deformities as well as perfect, healthy, happy babies.  How do you keep it together?  How do you deliver a stillborn baby?  How does seeing a woman lose her baby at 30 weeks not affect you?  How do you tell expectant parents that the baby inside that they've grown to love has horrible defects that almost ensure death?   And then, how do you find real joy when a woman has a perfectly healthy baby after you've come from someone else's tragedy?  How do they keep from being jaded and cynical in the face of stuff like that?  I just don't know.

The morning of my surgery, my doctor came in bright-eyed at a little before seven in the morning.  I'm sure she had to do prepwork and stuff.  I don't imagine that you roll out of bed at six-thirty to do a surgery - at least I hope not.  So maybe she was up by 5:30ish which makes for a nasty early morning.  She did my surgery around seven (I think) and maybe did another one before having a full day of office visits starting at 8:30.  And I know my doctor has two kids! 

I just think about a typical day for her.  Maybe she's got a few totally normal pregnancies and she's just keeping watch, maintaining them.  Then it's checking on/counseling another couple of ladies who have lost babies, then a couple with high-risk pregnancies who need hardcore monitoring and the slightest change in anything is cause for alarm.  Then maybe you've got a couple who have struggled for years and years to get pregnant and finally they are.  You're mixing joy and a sense of accomplishment with a massive dose of caution because you are privy to everything that can go wrong.  And that's just a fraction!  That's not counting the pap smears, the STDs, the endometriosis, and all that other stuff!  I'm going to ask my doctor about all this when I have my follow-up appointment today. 

I know there are lot of birth sites/blogs out there that bash doctors and God knows they're not all perfect - there are good and bad doctors just like any other profession.  I just know that I was pretty caught up in my own stuff to even think about what they deal with on a daily basis and getting some perspective really opened my eyes.

And nurses!!!  I have SO MUCH respect for nurses!!!  The nurse that came in and held my hand the first time I had to have my blood drawn was the sweetest lady and was genuinely concerned for me.  I could see it in her eyes.  That same nurse gave me a hug and said she was so sorry when I came back to the office after we had found out. The surgery scheduler was so kind and compassionate with me and it warmed my heart beyond words when she squeezed my hand, looked me in the eye and said, "I'm so sorry for your loss."  I felt it and I was so grateful.  The nurse in day surgery took the time to talk with us and let us talk - we weren't rushed at all and the next day she came in to check on me!  She didn't even have to but she did and meant so very very much.  Her name was Heather and I think she was an angel.  A few days later I got a card from all the nurses in day surgery expressing their condolences to Drew and me.  I don't know if that's standard procedure but I was touched either way.  I carry that card with me in my work bag and I'm so thankful that they took the time out to do that for me.  When I go back today for my appointment, I'm going to find Heather and thank her.

That's why I couldn't be a doctor or a nurse.  Too much sickness and death and tragedy would land me in the loony bin for sure.  As a mostly healthy person, I just never thought about the other side.  I thought everyone was like me - just in for routine maintenance.  Until I was one of them, it didn't occur to me that they take care of sick people.  Duh right?

For sure, there are crap doctors and nurses in the world.  But the nurses and doctors that I have had the privelege of being treated by are some of the greatest and I'm glad that I had them.  I don't think you can convincingly fake compassion and the ladies in my doctor's office and the nurses I met in Day Surgery at Medical City are all right in my book!

My hat is off to you and I'm giving you big hugs Cori and Joleene!  I'm pretty sure you don't hear it enough, but you do good things and even the littlest things make a difference and your patients notice even if they don't say anything.  I promise!  Nurses are the greatest!!