My visit to the North Country: Santa brought me a panic attack!

 While still in Dallas, we had discussed having family pictures done since everyone would be together and there would be no telling when that might happen again.  I was for it, which was of course before the blue sweater/slipper meltdown.  


However, being the curly hair devotee that I am, I knew I would have to plan as it takes a solid hour and twenty minutes to do my hair from start to finish and my Day Two hair looks better than my Day One hair.  Only a fellow curly will understand that last sentence.  Not leave out my straight-haired readers, but y'all have it lucky.  But curly hair or straight, I know everyone can relate to the effort it takes to ensure a good hair day for important occasions.


I conveyed all of this information to Drew, telling him that since the pictures were going to happen the day after Christmas, I needed to do my hair Christmas Day and I needed him to back me up and help me carve out time between opening presents and Christmas dinner so that I could do my hair.  He agreed - in theory.  My husband hasn't quite grasped my hair situation - when I've JUST gotten out of the shower, hair sopping wet and full of conditioner, he'll still ask me, "So you think you'll be ready in twenty minutes?"  Bless his heart.


Well, Christmas morning came and we gathered in the living room around the tree and opened our presents.  Mama Karen totally outdid herself!  They both were so generous to the four of us and the thought that they put into our presents was so touching and I truly felt like a part of the family.  I'm so very lucky - so many women hate their in-laws or vice-versa and I have definitely been in situations where my boyfriend's parents didn't like me.  It is so awkward to know that another woman hates you without even knowing you, just because she thinks you're not good enough for her son.  That just sucks and I'm so very very happy that that is not my situation.  I just love my parents-in-love! (That's what Katie Balla says and I just love it - it's so fitting!)

Drew got a remote control helicopter - no matter how old they still love their toys.

Julie and I both got these adorable ring-holders. 

I put my rings in to see how they'd look - jewelry and shoes, that about covers it!

Then the boys put on their Christmas hats that they'd had since they were babies.  They looked sooo cute - awww, my baby has such a big head!  That's why moms are awesome - moms keep stuff like this and wives put it on the internet for all to see!

 

Because we need one more picture of Drew in his hat and I like his smile here.

 

After the presents were opened Drew and Koosh just hung out, with Koosh in his chair and Drew on the floor - after all, we're in Koosh's house.  

You can't mess with that Fu Manchu beard.  There are consequences for things like that.

After presents had been opened, Drew wanted me to go with him to visit his grandparents' at the cemetery.  Outside.  In the cold.  I'll say it - I didn't want to go.  I wanted to stay in the toasty warm house, but I knew that Drew really wanted me to go with him so I bundled up and we headed over to the cemetery.  That's what wives do for their husbands - you can grumble and ask ONCE if you really have to go, but then you have to just suck it up and do it.  But it was cold.

Drew's grandparents were born and raised in the North Country.  His grampa passed several years ago but his gram only passed in 2007, so it was still pretty fresh for him.  She was a legend in their town.  "Oh, she was QUITE the woman."  Of course, I had no idea what that meant until I saw a picture of her with blue hair.  And not old-lady blue - I'm talking punk rocker blue - when she was an old lady.  She got her first tattoo for her 80th birthday and I guess she could out-cuss the boys, out-cook the girls and she loooved her Cabbage Patch dolls.  She had over a hundred and she knew all their names.  She sounded cool and I wish I could have met her.  They said she would have liked me and Julie.

The cemetery was just short drive away and Drew knew exactly where the headstone was.  The snow and the cold and the lack of traffic at that moment made everything very serene.  The snow crunched beneath our feet yet the sound was muffled as we made our way to pay our respects.  He introduced me to them and left some candy canes and homemade fudge for them after he cleaned the headstone.

 

I hung in there as long as I could, but the cold is no joke.  The moment I stepped out the car my toes had begun to go numb, but even I knew enough not to complain while Drew was visiting with his grandparents.  I just thought warm thoughts, but that only worked for about thirty seconds.  I tried to be graceful about it and I told Drew that I'd give him some time alone with them, but we both knew I was a wimp and I couldn't stand the cold for even the most worthy of causes.

On the way back home, I asked him about Christmas dinner and when he thought we'd eat.  It was about eleven and he thought people would start arriving around three or so.  I was relieved - that was plenty of time for me to do my hair and makeup and get ready for a houseful of strangers.  I would have plenty of time to change from my sweats and do something with my mass of fuzz on top of my head.

It was with said fuzz on my head, said sweats on my unshowered body and my woefully makeup-free face that I walked out of the bathroom into the kitchen smack into Uncle Ronnie and Aunt Penny and their foreign exchange student Noy.  I may as well have had no clothes on.  It was so much worse when Uncle Ronnie burst out with "Well, THERE she is!"  looking up at me from the kitchen table.  I could feel the tears stinging my eyes and my breath creeping up into my throat.  My head started tingling and I could feel my back getting hot, starting to sweat.  I offered a weak smile and practically ran out of the room, the tears spilling out.  They SAW me!  In my SWEATS!  With FUZZY hair! And NO MAKE-UP!

Mama Karen knew and caught me at the foot of the stairs in a big ol hug.  I was already crying and hyperventilating and apologizing and she just hugged me and reassured me.  I composed myself a little and headed up the stairs to get ready.  I was mortified.  Not only did I make a STELLAR first impression, NOW I was about to disappear for an hour and a half and I couldn't do anything about it.  There are no short-cuts when it comes to curly hair.  You can't just throw it back and hope for the best.

I snuck back downstairs and into the bathroom, feeling every single minute of that hour and a half that I was gone.  Somewhere in there I broke the nail of my right pointer finger and once I was all dressed and made up with my hair presentable I asked Mama Karen for a nailfile.  Once again, I disappeared into the bathroom, only for a few seconds this time to file my nail down.  FINALLY, I emerged and Uncle Ronnie says "Well, I thought we scared you!"  Awesome.  Oh yeah, and MORE people had arrived.  All three of Uncle Ronnie's kids, Jesse, Zach and Seth, Jesse's wife Jen, Cousin Amanda with her daughter Emily plus the six of us.  

I was already in the kitchen and I felt the tears coming again as the new faces looked me over.  Mind you, it was in a very welcoming pleasant way but I was fighting a panic attack so all I could think is that every single one of them was judging me for how long I'd been gone, thinking 'she got all ready and she's not even cute.  I don't know why she even bothered.  An hour and a half?  Really?'  

I couldn't very well run out of the room again but the tears were already coming and I was running my left pointer finger over the right back and forth, back and forth, back and forth in a very methodical crazy way.  I turned my back, hoping that I could just make the tears stop and my breathing go back to normal and just not be a crazy but unfortunately it doesn't work like that.

Before I could wear my finger down to a nub, Drew's dad very quietly came up behind me and took my hand, saying "You're going to wear that finger down if you don't stop" in such a sweet and calming voice.  He rubbed my back, telling me that everything was okay, no one was going to do or say anything out of line as long as he was around, and other sweet things that I concentrated on as I tried to slow my breathing.  

If only anxiety attacks were that easy - if only the panic demons knew the RULES!  If there's nothing to freak out about, DON'T FREAK OUT.  *sigh*  

Christmas dinner continued without incident and if anyone noticed me almost freaking out in the corner of the kitchen, no one let on.  We all crowded around the table and stuffed our faces with prime rib (everyone else), ham (me), cabbage noodles, mashed sweet potatoes, and the most KICK-ASS homemade bread courtesy of the Amish family in the neighborhood.  It was the best bread I've EVER had and I'm pretty sure I ate a loaf by myself the whole time we were there.  It was Heaven!

After dinner Mama Karen had a surprise for us.  She had put together a reception for the four of us and invited all their friends from the town!  How awesome is that!  Thank the Baby Jesus, she told us (okay me, with the crazy panic attacks) about it beforehand.  Could you imagine!  Walking into a HALL!  FILLED with people!  None of whom I know!  HAHAHAHA!  I would have walked in and walked the hell right back out!

But now that I KNEW about it and ENSURED that alcohol would be on hand I was set!  Bring it on!