I blame my swine flu

Saturday morning we volunteered at a run/walk that our friends Nic and David put together.  David and his friend Chad came up with the idea over drinks and nine months later the Dash for the Beads was born.  We were happy to help, it was for a good cause, all that stuff.  But it was COLD!!!!  And we had to be there at 7AM!!!! On a Saturday!!!  Luckily, they gave us food and lots of drinks so it was all good.

It may or may not have been because of the cold weather, but Sunday morning I woke up feeling like garbage.  My head felt like it had swollen to three times its normal size and I felt achy all over.  I took Drew to the airport and spent Sunday night self-medicating with everything that said 'flu' that was in the medicine cabinet.  For the past three days I have been laying on the sofa, coughing my brains out, blowing my nose and breathing through my mouth.  I'm glad I've been alone.  Add to that a near-total lack of sleep because laying on my side makes all the nastiness drain and then I can't breathe, so I roll over to the other side for a few minutes until it drains to THAT side suffocating me again, leading to the most bee-yoo-ti-ful circles under my eyes and I'm convinced I have the swine flu.  It's probably mixed with some ebola.

Today, I FINALLY made it out of the house to run errands because the dog has no sympathy for my hacking and sneezing.  If anything, she's curious about this strange occurrence and was constantly in my face, sniffing me.  I wanted to show you guys something.

With my head all swollen and stuffy-feeling I couldn't bear to braid my hair or do anything with it while I slept because the pressure was killing me.  Thanks to my braid-out fail my hair was super fuzzy and sleeping with it out didn't help matters.  Yesterday I felt a tiny bit better so I turned my attention to the frizz atop my head.

 

You know how they have 'the face of the swine flu?'  Well, this is the hair of swine flu.  And yes, I'm wearing the same nightgown.  Get off me, I'm sick.

The thought of standing in the shower and starting all over again was enough to make me cry but I had to do something with my hair.  I was catching mouthfuls of it when I rolled from side to side at night.  Between the dog practically sitting on my head, the twelve thousand pillows on the bed and not being able to breathe, I seriously think I got three hours of sleep a night.  Hence the camera in front of my face.  I looked baaaaaad y'all.

So can someone please tell me why I thought straightening my hair would be less labor-intensive than re-washing it?  I blame the excessive quantities of Nyquil I ingested.  Nevertheless, I blew the dust off my CHI, scrounged up my last few drops of flat-iron-defend spray and straightened my hair.

It took about thirty minutes, which surprised me.  I was prepared for it to be hours and hours - afterward I sat down with my shears and did a search and destroy for aaaaaaallll the split ends that my straight hair now highlighted.  I've been curly and heat-free for over a year now so I don't know where they came from - but they're gone now!  

Straight hair also highlights all my gray hair - yippee.  I started going gray when I was 24 and it never bothered me.  I would just color my hair for fun - my hair has been every color in the book.  I stopped coloring it a few years ago because it was getting too long to mess with and at that time, it wasn't that bad.  Now?  Yeah, I've got a Bride of Frankenstein streak going on that is oh so chic.  It'll be really interesting when my entire length is gray - right now it's about two inches.  At any rate, I don't think I'll be straightening my hair again anytime soon so check it out!

 

 

The longest part is juuuust above my waist!  How cool is that!

 

I already miss my curly hair and will probably wash it tonight or tomorrow after yoga.  I keep catching myself in the mirror because it's really weird to see myself with straight hair.  It's so ironic because in the old days, I wouldn't be caught dead without stick-straight hair.  I truly was a slave to my flat iron.  Even today traces of the old me came back as I was fighting with my shower cap to keep my hairline dry.  Of course I wasn't successful and my baby hairs at my temple are back to their curly selves.  

 

I let them be, telling them that the rest of my hair would be joining them soon.