Building a foundation

I love the idea of starting fresh. New Year's is the universal Do-Over Day and I love that! No matter what has happened the year before, I am always filled with a euphoric sense of optimism regarding the coming year and this one is no different. I also love resolutions - the idea of setting a goal for yourself, regardless of whether or not you achieve it, makes me giddy too. 'I'm going to lose 30 pounds!' 'I'm going to volunteer once a week!' 'I'm going to remember everyone's birthday!' At that moment you believe all of these things will come to pass. Such exhiliration!

For the first time in my life, I'm resolving to lose weight. I have never had to before and it's an entirely new experience, watching what I eat. However, I made it 32 years without having to, I figure that's a pretty good run. I'm shooting for 30 pounds but I won't be upset if it ends up being 20. I have to be kind to myself. Although I'm making no qualms about how difficult it will be - any time you try something for the first time in your life, it's not going to be easy.

I'm also going to be less shy about speaking up for myself. Where my friends and family are concerned, I'm a lioness and I have no qualms about standing up for them. But when it's me, I'm such a pushover. I'll suffer in silence until I've reached the boiling point and then it's katie bar the door! That's not ok. It's only cute to be crazy in the movies, not in real life. If I want something, I have to take responsibility to ask for it and not assume that my desires are simply known. Likewise, if I don't like something it's my responsibility to make that known in a mature way. Martyrdom never solves anything. If you make your needs clearly known and then they're still not being met, then you've got a valid reason for change. Otherwise, you're not playing fair.

I'm going to take my relationship with Drew more seriously. To this point, I haven't seriously been looking at him as husband material, mainly because of my pre-conceived notions and fears. Well, it's time to face those fears and give us and this relationship a fair shake. I don't want things to end without us both giving it a true go. This will involve lots of growth and change on my part and I can only hope that he's on board for it. After all, I need to be seen as marriage material just as much as he does. I think only a saint would marry me at this point.

And while it's not a resolution, I do need to re-dedicate myself to it...I need more patience! Maybe it's because I've gotten away from my yoga, I'm getting older, or I'm just not trying hard enough but I have become so impatient lately! I usually do well to a point and then I'm simply, flat-out D-U-N. While taking some time to clear my head is perfectly acceptable, I have to exercise that option more than I exercise the one to blow a gasket. Again, it's only cute to be crazy in the movies.

I'm going to define my professional goals for myself this year as well. I'm still not quite sure what I want to be when I grow up, but I'm going to get closer to that answer this year.

I'm going to get out of debt! I have been the credit card kid and I'm most definitely feeling the error of my ways! Besides, it's kind of fun to see the available credit number go up and and balance due number go down. I'm paying off two lingering bills in the next couple months and it will be so nice! I want to be one of those people that pays off their credit cards EVERY SINGLE MONTH because I have no idea what that's like.

I'm going to cultivate more female friendships. Girls were very mean to me growing up and it has made me shy away from them even to adulthood. I'm going to stop being scared of making friends, even though it really scares me! I'm going to look for positive, encouraging, happy women and I'm going to make friends with them! (major Al Franken moment there - sorry about that)

Ok, that's good for now. No sense in getting in over my head.