Blogging it out

I'm not pleased today.

I at least met my goal of working out yesterday - I ended up taking a class from a friend of mine at a new studio in Dallas. Unbeknownst to me, I was supposed to have stayed home. Why? Because Drew would rather I stayed in last night. Did I know that? No. He didn't tell me until I had gotten home and we were getting ready to go to sleep! Nothing in the world p****s me off more about him than that. He thinks that just because we're in a relationship I'm supposed to be psychic all of a sudden. When I asked why didn't he tell me that he wanted me to stay home, his response was that he shouldn't keep me from doing the things I want to do. Really??!!!?? If you're sick and you want company, just say so! If you want to be left alone say that too! Otherwise, you cannot expect me to know exactly what you want/need when you want/need it! Furthermore, he's not a baby - he has a mouth, why does he think he doesn't have to use it now that he's got a girlfriend!?

Oh that's right, it's not romantic and I must not care about him or the relationship if he has to ask for it. I say it's pretty da** romantic that you have someone willing to do whatever you ASK them to do (not illegal, immoral, or painful). I have zero tolerance to play guessing games. 'Do you want Cheerios?' 'No, how 'bout eggs?' 'No, how about oatmeal?' 'No, how bout fruit?' I wouldn't even do that with children if I had them! Asking a zillion questions does not mean you care. It means you are not aware enough to know for yourself what you want and that is not acceptable behavior for a grown-up.

But he shouldn't have to tell me what he wants - I should just know. Right. And of course, he asks me what would I want him to do if I were sick. 'I'd want you to do whatever I ask you to do. That means if I want to be left alone and sleep, I don't expect you to sit on the bed and read to me. If that's what I wanted, I would ask you for that in the first place'.

I am not a mind-reader. If you want something from me and I can get it for you, I will either do it or let you know why I can't.

If you don't know where you're going, how do you know when you get there?
If you don't know what you're looking for, how do you know when you've got it?
If you don't know what you need, how do you expect me to give it to you?

No one, including me, likes continually messing up. If I go to give you a hug and you don't want to be touched you're going to reject my gesture. You won't get what you want, I'm going to feel bad. Now if I ask you want you want and you genuinely want to be left alone and I do it, everyone is satisfied. I did what you asked, you got what you wanted. Very simple - so why is it so hard??? If he wanted me to stay home, I would have done it in a heartbeat. Why didn't he just say something instead of tossing out a backhanded comment right before bed, when nothing could have been done??

I don't expect him to read my mind, I tell him what I need when I need it. I am an emotionally responsible grown-up who is self-aware. All I want is the same in return.