On my heart

Recently, I have fallen away from my faith. Who am I kidding, I haven't been to church regularly since I left home. I'm a total cliche - I've gotten big for my britches and I have convinced myself that I'm the one in the driver's seat and I've got this. My faith was something that got pulled out in emergencies. Now, I've always been a good and decent person with a healthy sense of right and wrong just like anyone else, I just haven't let my faith guide me. Instead, I've chosen to let my brain and logic pull me through.

The jig is up.

Yup, just like the cliche, I'm lost and I've only made a further mess of things by trying to figure it all out by myself.

So, like a string on my finger, a postie on my desk, I'm putting this here to remind myself....

Yo, Desiree --

God has known your story since before you were a thought in your mother's head. You're a smart girl, who would you place in charge? The one with all the knowledge and experience or some hothead who only has a piece of the story?

You're not alone - you're never alone. Everything that you're going through and will go through for that matter is for your benefit. Decide now that you will learn the lesson and become a better person. Shaking your fist at the sky is pointless - you know this.

Release the need for total control. You are not in the driver's seat, you don't have all the information. Trust that God will not lead you to a challenge and then abandon you - you know it doesn't work that way.

You are loved - you are a child of God, stand tall! Hold your head high and walk with purpose. Know that you have the strength and guidance of God to make your steps sure. Trust in that - God is not in the practice of letting people down, you included. All His love, acceptance, compassion and rules apply to you too. You didn't get left out, you are never forgotten. 'Behold, I have carved your name on the palm of My hand' - ring any bells? He's talking about you. You've got a VIP seat in the heart of the most loving being and that's major. Remember that.

Face forward, eyes open and trust that God will not let you fall. You are protected and provided for by an unwavering, never-ending, never-failing source of all that's good. It doesn't run out, it is never denied to you, that's what it's there for. Take comfort in that, seek it out and be thankful that you can. You have the greatest source of peace at your disposal, remember that. Use it to calm you, use it to guide you, it's yours.

Release your fear, you don't need it. You have the biggest baddest protector going ahead of you and He's made sure that the way is safe. At times it won't be easy (like now) but it's safe. Trust that the path you're on is the right one for you at this time in your life - it has been written.

Breathe deep kid - it's all going to be just fine.