Know what I hate? (possible TMI)

I'm not a germaphobe. I'm a clean person but I don't obsess about it. You'll always hear me saying 'that's what an immune system is for' when someone freaks out about touching a disease-infested germ-ridden doorknob. Of course, if someone sneezes straight into their hands right in front of me and then reaches for said doorknob, that's a different story. But for the most part, I keep my hands washed and I remain alert and aware, never paranoid.

One thing I've never mastered is The Hover. My girlfriend is a champion, claiming that her backside has never in life touched a public toilet seat. Me, it's not that serious. If there are those paper thingies that you put over the toilet, I'll use them. If I'm in a somewhat questionable place and I don't have to go really bad I'll drape toilet paper over the seat, but I'm not obsessive about it. I do have limits - I rarely use gas station restrooms. A girl has to draw the line somewhere.

But The Hover - I never could do it. I always ended up being less than precise, shall we say. Now, in the few times that I've attempted The Hover, I've always made sure to be courteous to the next person using the restroom. They don't need to pay for my lack of coordination and thigh muscles (coming from the yoga instructor -- ironic, I know). There's just something about your pants around your ankles and holding up your shirt and leaning over and sort of squatting that just messes it up. 'That's what an immune system is for' and I just give up and sit down.

Well, some exceedingly nasty person in my office performed The Hover and they were not courteous!! And the one time I don't check because I have to go really bad.

I'm telling myself it was the splash from the aggressive automatic toilet flusher.