I'm so glad I went to college

The night I got laid off, I decided I would drink.  Drew and I poured ourselves some cocktails and started playing Gin Rummy, which he totally took advantage of my innocence and cheated and beat my ass.  A few drinks in, I called Kesha and invited her over.  After all, she is the new receptionist, and that kind of news calls for some cocktails.  She came over, we had more cocktails and we all played Gin Rummy, where Drew cheated some more and beat me again. 

Anyone who beats me at anything is obviously cheating. 

I took a picture of his cheating face for proof.

I don't care if he doesn't agree.

We proceeded to get, how do you say, shit-faced? 

What happens to Drew when he's around more than one Black person at a time.

Actually, Kesha told him to put his sunglasses on and then he did. 

Then I had to do my sexy pose.

Then I had to take a picture of myself, which is really hard to do when you're on your eighth White Russian.

I haven't had a hangover that painful in a very, very, very long time.  This one HURT.  We were up till three in the morning talking until we passed out - Kesha and me, that is.  Drew pussed out early.  We woke up and ate breakfast, but I couldn't shake it till about five that evening.  Ugh.

However, I found myself being very thankful that we could do that.  It was nice to hang out with my friend and my husband and a deck of cards.  That was a cool night.  I'm also thankful that we had nowhere to go and nothing to do the whole next day.  We just laid around, holding our heads and laughing.

...

As I come to the second-to-last day at my job, I found myself thinking, hoping really, that I'd be able to coast through.  No irate callers, no tasks, just me and the blogosphere.  HA!!

We're having a Christmas lunch tomorrow and guess who had to roll the silverware in the napkins?!  All 150 of them!

Photos courtesy of Kesha - because we're that bored, and neither of us gives a fuck anymore.

Oh, this is what happens to your fingers after rolling 150 red napkins.

Gotta get it juuuust right.

The bow must be perfect or the lunch will be ruined!  RUINED!

I'd like to stick this up only two people's noses.  Haha, you thought I was going to say asses.  Well, I didn't.  I'm not that vulgar.  Always.

There were green ones too.

Three and a half years at the Ivy League of the South, $18,000 in student loans, countless hours studying 18th century French literature, analyzing business trends in Brazil, deconstructing Spanish short stories, papers, presentations, reading and studying in THREE languages..........

To roll napkins.  Awesome.

Note to 2010 Desiree:  Let this be THE LAST TIME IN LIFE that you take a job where you have to roll napkins.  Under any circumstance.