The word has gotten out about my layoff and a couple people have come by to see how I'm holding up. I've given my "blessing in disguise" speech a few times now. I'm really grateful that I can see things this way - I'm grateful that I'm not the sole provider with a couple of kids looking at a bare Christmas. I'm so thankful that we have a nice warm house, that Drew's job is okay, and that we have each other. It could be much much worse.
Nope, not helping.
I thought that by talking about THIS big situation right now, it would distract me from the OTHER big situation. But it's not working and I'm trying not to melt down.
Something ELSE is supposed to happen on Friday (fitting, right?) and I'm really trying hard not to think about it. I'm trying not to think about how I'll react if it DOES happen, as well as how I'll react if it DOESN'T happen. I'm trying to pray, and me and my good buddy GOD are talking, and He's telling me to please just be patient, and I'm trying really really hard. I wish I could turn off my brain, but there are a kabillion oh-so-lovely bloggers out there going through the same thing and I know where to find aaaaallllll of them.
Relaxing won't necessarily make things happen, but neither will worrying. I'm saying that to myself over and over again. The calm could kick in any time and I would be cool with that. The obsessing over every bodily twinge is beginning to grate, but I can't stop. Boo!
*must.change.subject.* OH! Here's something!
We leave to go to Drew's parent's house on Wednesday. Drew's parents live in Upstate New York. And by Upstate, I mean fifteen minutes from Canada Upstate. As in freeze-your-fracking-ASS-off Upstate. I don't do cold weather - at all. I can't be a good sport about it and I can't tolerate it 'just for a quick second'. Cold weather puts me in a bad mood. It's been 29 degrees the past couple of mornings here in Dallas and I HATE getting in my car first thing in the morning. The scowl on my face melts away as my car warms up, but not a second sooner.
But here's the thing. Drew and his brother have not been home for Christmas in eight years. Understandably, his mom is over the moon about it and is going all out. She's planning meals and activities and apparently Christmas dinner with the WHOLE family is at their house. Okay, so I have some concerns.
One: Does the family know about me? I mean, do they KNOW about me? We're talking a teeny tiny town in Upstate New York. There's not a lot of, shall we say, diversity in places like that. Usually. I asked Drew if his WHOLE family knew I was ahem, not blonde. The last thing I want is to walk in the room and everybody is stunned into uncomfortable silence and they nervously look away because I'm not blonde. He says they all know, but I was like, "Do they ALL know? Don't play with me Drew. I'm serious. I don't need there to be an INCIDENT." He says they all know, but I'm nervous. Apparently, one of his cousins married a man who is not blonde and they have a couple of kids, so I'm hoping that will grease the wheel so to speak. But I'm a not blonde WOMAN - are the rules different for me? *sigh* I don't know. I am so uncomfortable in situations like this. Geez.
Two: I've never met his brother. Or his brother's new fiancee. I know nothing about him and I'm nervous about that. Just because he's my brother-in-law, it doesn't make us automatic friends. What if I don't like him? What if he doesn't like me? Drew told me that he hasn't liked any of the girls he's ever dated because he (the brother) thought they were all crazy. I mean, he is right about that part, but what concerns me the most is if he picks on me. I don't take that shit from my OWN brother and if he starts with some nonsense, there WILL be an INCIDENT. Drew knows this and I hope he's got my back. I just think there are too many preconceived expectations about family as it relates to marriage. That just because I married one member of the family I should automatically get along with the other members of the family. Brother-in-law or not, he is a stranger to me. On a good day, I'm polite to strangers. Most others, I avoid them because HELLO! They're strangers!
Actually, maybe y'all can help me? All my married peeps, how did/do you navigate the minefield that is the in-laws? And I'm not talking about his parents - they're awesome and I really like them. I'm talking about the aunts, uncles, cousins and all THEM folk.
Three: The cold! I'm talking single-digit with wind chills! 'Member how I said cold weather puts me in a bad mood? It's involuntary and I'm just imagining being around all these people I don't know, looking/acting like a raging bitch when I'm really just freezing my arse off! That's not cool! I'd like to be cordial and pleasant - I want them all to marvel over Drew's fabulous wife (talking about me, if you're confused all of a sudden), not whisper about the trembling anti-social goblin, hovering at the fireplace with her back to everyone. I plan to wear long johns under EVERYTHING, several pairs of socks, turtlenecks WITH a scarf and earmuffs and two pairs of gloves and a hat so hopefully I can be somewhat pleasant but you know what that leaves open? MY NOSE! My nose RUNS when it's cold. I HATE it when my nose runs. I'm so screwed. They're all going to hate me.
None of this would be a problem if we all met at some tropical resort somewhere - or if they came to Dallas in the summer. I would showcase my mad hostess skillz, catering to their every desire and they would marvel. Oh yes, they would marvel.
But nooooo! Cold weather turns off all hostess skillz in order to redirect energy to SURVIVAL skillz. I'm too busy ensuring my fingers and toes don't fall off to get you another scone, thankyouverymuch. Do you see this?
The high temperature wasn't even AVAILABLE today!
What the hell kind of temperature is -1??? I'm probably going to freeze to death.
Now would ya look at that! I'm not even thinking about what may or may not happen on Friday! Meltdown avoided! Mission accomplished!
Now I'm simply obsessing about freezing to death at my in-laws' house and whether or not my brother-in-law will like me...
I'll take it!
PS - How awesome is this! From here.
O_o
ReplyDeleteUm...the thing...on Friday...is it what I think it is? Of course you don't have ESP (or do you?) but I think we might be thinking the same thing?
I have SUCH AN ATTITUDE (I feel like I've written this before) about cold weather. Not cool (no pun intended). I went to Detroit one Thanksgiving and NY one March and pretty sure I died at least twice each trip. NEVER. AGAIN. I'm already stank-faced right now where it's in the 40s in Houston. DO NOT WANT.
In-law situation was a LOT for me to get used to. Mother-in-law, granny-in-law, uncles-in-law, cousins-in-law...Jesus Christ. But I understand how you have the whole racial dynamic thrown on top of that. I hope for everyone's sake that everyone knows. Have them forward a wedding pic around the family circle like an informational brochure or something.
I have been saying they need to come up with nose-muffs; I HATE having my nose exposed. I don't care how it would look dammit I'd wear it.
-1?! The fugggg? That is inhumane.
-Gem
I'll tell you what the blessing in disguise is....me finding this here blog! Girlfriend let me tell you. I married a man that moved me to CHICAGO! THE HIGH MONDAY WAS *NEGATIVE TWO* and I'm a Texas girl...born and raised in Fort Worth. I don't do negative temps.
ReplyDeleteOkay let me go in order...
I'll start with the lay off. Doesn't it piss you off when people come by and try to give you a good message? And you can't be rude and say mind your own business. Just smile and nod.
I'm sure he told the WHOLE family that you're not a blonde. And even if they know and there's still a little shock....they've probably already discussed it and practiced not staring. It'll be fine. LOL.
I married my husband before ANYONE from my family had met him. Most of them didn't even know I was dating anybody. Thanksgiving was our first time home with the entire family and it was a hit. He fit right in with everybody. I suggest you go in with an open mind willing and ready to be instant friends with your new brother in law and his fiance and that will take the edge off. He's probably just as nervous about meeting you as you are him. Don't walk in the door on the defensive. You seem like a really cool person through your blog and I'm betting that you'll get along great with everybody.
I met my in-laws for the first time when I came here 2 years ago for Thanksgiving. His mom was so anxious to hang out with me and introduce me around that she picked me up in the morning and kidnapped me. LOL I met all the aunts and cousins in the kitchen.....making mac and cheese. That was the first time I met his siblings too and his brother said I acted like I already knew everybody. So that's how it worked for me.
Now as for the weather. BUNDLE UP....coat, thermal underwear, gloves, scarf, hat, socks, more socks, boots if you have em, and get those hand warmer things.
Good luck! (and sorry for such a long comment)
I'll tell you what the blessing in disguise is....me finding this here blog! Girlfriend let me tell you. I married a man that moved me to CHICAGO! THE HIGH MONDAY WAS *NEGATIVE TWO* and I'm a Texas girl...born and raised in Fort Worth. I don't do negative temps.
ReplyDeleteOkay let me go in order...
I'll start with the lay off. Doesn't it piss you off when people come by and try to give you a good message? And you can't be rude and say mind your own business. Just smile and nod.
I'm sure he told the WHOLE family that you're not a blonde. And even if they know and there's still a little shock....they've probably already discussed it and practiced not staring. It'll be fine. LOL.
I married my husband before ANYONE from my family had met him. Most of them didn't even know I was dating anybody. Thanksgiving was our first time home with the entire family and it was a hit. He fit right in with everybody. I suggest you go in with an open mind willing and ready to be instant friends with your new brother in law and his fiance and that will take the edge off. He's probably just as nervous about meeting you as you are him. Don't walk in the door on the defensive. You seem like a really cool person through your blog and I'm betting that you'll get along great with everybody.
I met my in-laws for the first time when I came here 2 years ago for Thanksgiving. His mom was so anxious to hang out with me and introduce me around that she picked me up in the morning and kidnapped me. LOL I met all the aunts and cousins in the kitchen.....making mac and cheese. That was the first time I met his siblings too and his brother said I acted like I already knew everybody. So that's how it worked for me.
Now as for the weather. BUNDLE UP....coat, thermal underwear, gloves, scarf, hat, socks, more socks, boots if you have em, and get those hand warmer things.
Good luck! (and sorry for such a long comment)
O_o
ReplyDeleteUm...the thing...on Friday...is it what I think it is? Of course you don't have ESP (or do you?) but I think we might be thinking the same thing?
I have SUCH AN ATTITUDE (I feel like I've written this before) about cold weather. Not cool (no pun intended). I went to Detroit one Thanksgiving and NY one March and pretty sure I died at least twice each trip. NEVER. AGAIN. I'm already stank-faced right now where it's in the 40s in Houston. DO NOT WANT.
In-law situation was a LOT for me to get used to. Mother-in-law, granny-in-law, uncles-in-law, cousins-in-law...Jesus Christ. But I understand how you have the whole racial dynamic thrown on top of that. I hope for everyone's sake that everyone knows. Have them forward a wedding pic around the family circle like an informational brochure or something.
I have been saying they need to come up with nose-muffs; I HATE having my nose exposed. I don't care how it would look dammit I'd wear it.
-1?! The fugggg? That is inhumane.
-Gem