How do you get off a horse this high?

There's been something on my heart that I've been stewing over for a while now.  I know writing about it will make me feel better, but I've been trying to figure out a way to talk about the situation without talking about the situation.


*The following may or may not be true and it is most definitely NOT about *you* so don't get your panties in a bunch.


I am no better than anyone else.  I would like to paint myself in a wholesome, kind and gentle light but that would be a lie.  I laugh at the People of Walmart and one of our past-times is to people watch and pick them apart.  Drew always picks out the biggest gaudiest fake boobs (and there's lots of them in Dallas) and I go after the outfits.  We'll be walking through the mall and I'll go, Aww, why didn't you tell your cousin that his tie-dyed acid washed jeans should be left at home?  Or he'll go, Fake tits, four o clock.  It's harmless and we don't do it every time we're out, but I certainly wouldn't want the people I was talking about to hear me.  Which means I shouldn't do it - I know that.


I also judge character.  I shouldn't, I know.  It's not nice and you have no idea what's going on in people's lives behind closed doors.  But what about when you do know what goes on behind closed doors?  What do you do when it's a friend, who in one breath has spilled their guts to you about how they can't afford to pay their rent, yet in the next is showing off their new handbag they just bought with said rent money?


And then what do you do if you ask that person if purchasing an expensive handbag was the smartest thing they could have done, considering that rent is still due and they get MAD at you?  Like you're telling them their mother is ugly?


THEN what do you do when that person refuses to talk to you for weeks because you DARED point out the obvious and when you finally talk again they say 'You should have been happy for me getting a handbag,' when all you want to do is shake them and ask if their handbag is big enough for them to LIVE IN.  But then you know that when rent is due, that person is going to go to another person and ask them for the money because they're short and that person is going to give it to them, like they always have and THAT PERSON doesn't have it to give!  It makes my stomach turn.


THEN what do you do if that person goes to your mutual acquaintances and says 'Desiree is so mean, she couldn't even be happy for me that I got a new handbag.'  And you want to bang your head against the wall because last you checked, not only do they not have rent money, there's no money for the light bill and not even enough money to feed their GOLDFISH.  When you have to take your goldfish to your mama's house so your mama can feed it because you have no food in your house, it's time to stop shopping, get your head out of your ass and get with the program.


THEN what do you do when the person 'forgives' you, and invites you shopping?  I have zero problem looking them in the eye and saying 'No, I cannot come with you because I'm not working and we have to curtail our spending and shopping is a luxury I can't afford.'


Me.  Who lives in a house.  Where the bills stay paid.  Where everything IN this house is paid for.  Whose husband has a job (thank the baby Jesus.)


And I'm evil because I'm the only one of our group who will not treat you with kid gloves?  I'M the one who is wrong for telling you to rethink your shopping trips?  That if you have 'pets' you should feed them and that needs to be your priority and there is a problem if you can't afford to do so?  I'm the one who is wrong because I can't in good conscience participate in your shopping excursions?


...


It's not my business.  It's not my business.  It's not my business.  You can't make people live the life you think they should live, even if you know that having a roof over your head is always preferable to living in the street.  You can't dictate how people treat their pets.  Even if your heart breaks when you see them.  I can't make people do what I think is best  - even if that 'best' is nothing more than paying your bills and not living beyond your means.


I have to get off my high horse - there are people everywhere who make bad decisions all the time - by my estimation.  And I know there are those who look at me and judge me and think I make bad decisions.  That's life I guess.


It's just that when it hits close to home it's such a hard pill to swallow.