This person is very nice and I don't have anything bad to say about them per se. This person is pleasant and professional and the limited interactions I have had with them have not been bad. Except...
She insists on wishing me 'Happy Monday' or 'Happy Friday' or 'Happy whatever-flippin-day-it-happens-to-be'. I don't get it. Y'all know me by now - I'm a happy, optimistic person but I'm not Chipper Cathy. I prefer to operate on a nice even keel, neither manic nor depressive. And while I'm on it, I really can't stand perfect strangers intruding on my thinking space by telling me to smile. Oooooh, I hate that! I'm walking down the street, caught up in my daydreams, and some random stranger pops into my eyeline, practically giving me a heart attack, telling me to smile. Stop that. Stop that right now.
Anyway, what the heck am I supposed to say to this person when she wishes me 'Happy Tuesday'? I would love to tell her that it's not a real holiday so she should probably just knock it off. It's like couples that want to celebrate their twelve week anniversary. It makes no sense and I want to kick them in the shins. So I usually just respond to her with a weak 'You too' and a half-hearted grin. What else am I supposed to say? 'Back atcha' with a wink and the finger-guns? That's how cheesy it feels when someone says it to me.
I just got to thinking about all this when someone called this morning and said, 'Well good morning and a lovely Tuesday to you!' I almost hung up the phone. All that is not necessary - a simple 'good morning' will do just fine. It's like when someone calls saying, 'Good morning, I'm Joe Smith with Joe Smith Construction. We're a construction company that specializes in construction for the Dallas metro area and we've been operating our family owned construction business for over 20 years. We'd be interested in offering you our construction services and would like to know who's the best person to speak with regarding your company's construction needs'.
Let me ask you. Do you think there's an easier way to do that? If you call a main number wouldn't you think you'd get the receptionist, who is probably a very nice person but who isn't too terribly interested in you or your company because she's consumed with googling ways to keep her dog from biting and jumping on everything because the dog is teething and hyperactive? Do you really think she cares that you've been in business for 20 years? You'd probably be just fine with saying 'Good morning, who would I speak with to become a vendor with your company?' Polite and to the point - all you need to get past the receptionist.
So I am hereby mandating that weekday well wishing cease and desist, effective immediately. Only real holidays are acceptable, i.e. Happy New Year, Happy Birthday, Merry Christmas, etc. The jury is out on Happy Groundhog Day, Happy Labor Day, Happy Flag Day and other marginal holidays. Use well wishing sparingly on those days.
When I was thinking about this, Office Space (one of the greatest movies ever) came to mind and I thought of the chipper dude and his 'case of the Mondays'. I leave you with this:
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