Stress is a monster (or, it's a good problem to have)

So it's no secret that my relationship with Drew has had its challenges. We're normal. For all the times my heart just swells up with love for him, there are just as many times that I fantasize about punching him square in the throat (I tell him too - just ask how many times I've threatened bodily harm). Even though living in the house has brought it's share of new and different challenges, it is H-E-A-V-E-N compared to how it was a few months before. Permit me to illustrate...

I was working at the yoga studio - I loved life but had zero dollars. I wasn't this broke as a full time student working as a waitress. No money + bills = stress

I met a great guy that I really cared about but this new relationship sent my relationship with my dad into a tailspin. Fighting with dad = stress

I left the yoga studio and got a new job, from which I was fired a month later. Massive blow to self-esteem + unemployed + bills = stress

I moved in with Drew, but still wasn't working and hated giving up my independence. Merging living styles + still unemployed + still fighting with dad + we probably took that step too soon = stress

The relationship gets better but he wants a house but I don't because I always thought I'd be married before I moved into my first home and I'm very obviously not. GIVING UP MY LAST GIRLHOOD DREAM BECAUSE I F*CKED UP ALL THE OTHER ONES = STRESS

We move into the house but now he wants a dog and I sure as hell don't want that. I was just starting to getting okay about the house. Animal defiling my house = massive stress

It's a wonder we didn't kill each other. A couple of times we looked at each other and one or the other would actually say 'I can't do this', although the other person wouldn't actually say the second half of that sentence 'I don't want to be here anymore'. So we're still here. And boy I tell ya, I have a clearer picture than I ever wanted to have about the whole 'for better or worse' part. I may not have a ring on my finger but as far as I'm concerned that's a technicality because I'm living it.

Okay, so the physical side effects of all that stress were two-fold. One, I gained weight. I've always been slim and healthy but I began to notice that my clothes no longer fit properly. When I bought work clothes for my first office job in August, I had to go up a size. I just chalked it to growing older.

The more serious thing was that I started to get tension headaches. I didn't know what they were, I just knew that someone would throw a spear into my left eye and the white-hot burning point would exit from back left of my neck in the middle of the night. I would sit straight up out of bed trying not to scream from the pain. I thought I was having a stroke and I'm not prone to melodrama. But I'd never felt pain like that in my life and I was positive something was horribly wrong. I would pace and rock back and forth on the sofa when I wasn't clutching my head, willing the pain, begging the pain to stop. I went to the emergency room the night before we left for Paris because I had visions of my head exploding somewhere over the Atlantic because of the pressure.

$350 later, it's a tension headache brought on by (everyone together now) stress. Stress is a monster and it will kill. High blood pressure, obesity, all that stuff. Stress is real and it sucks out loud.

Well, I am happy to report that the stress in my life is greatly minimized. All my stuff is out of boxes, we have a place to live, I'm gainfully employed and paying off my debt, I'm learning to accept Drew for who he is, my therapist has helped me put my dad stuff away, and the dog is.......the dog is......*looking for nice words*......be positive Desiree.......

The dog is causing me less stress than before. That's all I got.

And the other totally awesome thing is -- I'm losing weight!! The pants that I got a year ago are completely huge on me now! I'm going to have to get them tailored - as it is I wear my shirts untucked because they're all bunched up because they're so big and my belt doesn't hide the folds. In the pants - not on my body! Yea!! I haven't had the chance to take them in because I have no money but for now, I'm reveling in how much space there is between my belly and my waistband. I have even resumed my regular (finances permitting - I'm not out of the woods yet) yoga practice which is doing wonders for my mental health.

And it's not just my imagination. When Milton came over Friday he commented that I was getting skinny. And as only a girl could do I said breathlessly 'REALLY?!! Thank you so much!' His girlfriend noticed too, and she looked thinner from the last time I saw her. We were complimenting each other left and right while the guys rolled their eyes. It was awesome.

I'm telling you, stress is evil and unnecessary. Do everything you can to rid it from your life. If you can change something, do it right this second. If you can't, learn to accept it right this second. There is no time to waste. I sleep better, I feel better and Drew and I are getting along better than we ever have before. I see again why I fell in love with him (*gag, barf* - sorry). Once I figured out (mostly by circumstance) what the issue was, I made sure that I did everything in my power to keep it at bay. I still find myself at the occasional pity party but my gratitude parties are waaay bigger.

By no means am I without my issues and problems. However, I'm no longer carrying them on my waist, hips, and thighs and that is a cause for celebration! Peace out y'all!