While I have never been attached to a particular address or location, the four walls I call my home have always had an incredible amount of meaning to me. Even the one time I had a roommate in LA and I moved into her apartment, I made my bedroom my sanctuary. Every place I have lived I can recall easily and I remember them fondly.
This dog has invaded my sanctuary.
For me, home has been the anchor that allowed me to float freely, knowing that I was securely rooted somewhere. It's what allowed to explore and travel and try new things, because I always knew that no matter what I had a place to call home. Now I feel like the strings have been cut and I'm flailing. I think back to previous posts, when I actually said I would miss the dog when I was gone. I know now that was definitely before reality set in. Reality has smacked me upside the head - no, it has bitten my ankles and I. don't. like it. Last night she bit me on the soft part of my ankle, in the back right next to the bone. You know, the super soft part that hurts like sh*t but you didn't know it would hurt like sh*t because no one has ever BITTEN you there before.
I'm actually sitting here at my desk wondering if I'm having a panic attack right now. There's a tightness in my chest and I want to cry and it's all because I don't want to go home. I feel cut off from my sanctuary. I've never had a pet before and frankly, I'm suprised at how strong a reaction I'm having to this perfectly innocent puppy who's just doing what puppies do. I wish I could turn the clock back so I could have done more research on dogs, choosing the calmest, most chill, laid-back breed in existance. But I chose to stay out of it, foolishly thinking that if I didn't participate that somehow it wouldn't happen. Stupid subconcious. Instead, we got the most hyper, most attention-needy dog out there. She's now learned to cry and whine non-stop, even after feeding and going out to potty. There's no place to put her that's out of earshot so it's quite the treat let me tell you. At night, it goes on for a good twenty minutes until she goes to sleep and then it's right up again a couple hours later. Get her out of the crate, go potty, back in the crate, twenty minutes or more of crying, sleep for a few hours. Lather, rinse, repeat.
But I'm still human and I feel sorry for the dog - she truly sounds pitiful. I don't know about dogs - are we scarring her for life by keeping her in the crate? Does she know I can't stand her? How do you discipline the dog without programming her for aggression for the rest of her life? How do you ignore the dog without programming her to have separation anxiety (I didn't even know dogs could have that)? The dog training book I read is all about fear - 'you only have one chance to do it right when they're a puppy and if you mess up, you're screwed forever because the dog is already programmed'. Great.
And if one more person says it's just like having a kid, I'm going to punch them square in the gut. I did not have nine months to spiritually and physically bond with the dog while I carried it in me (eww). My body chemistry was not permanently altered by the dog. It doesn't carry my genes, forever binding us. It's not a kid.
*huge sigh*
God, give me strength.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
7 comments:
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Dogs are way better than kids for many reason. A) they don't talk back B) you can train them to do anything C) they're adolescence is a very short time so they will way faster than say a 3 year old D) they love you no matter what.
ReplyDeleteI was an absolute wreck when we got our dogs (brother and sister Dobermans) I mean I hated life and was constantly stressed and depressed...are they peeing in the house, are they barking during the day and disturbing the neighbors, where did my life go? I considered giving them back to the breeder so many times. MISERABLE!
But it gets better, each day gets better. They will be 2 next week (time flies!) and I love them to death now. They've been to puppy class at Petsmart, they ring the bell to go potty outside, and they are so smart and love everybody.
I watched "The Dog Whisperer" for months before we got them because I knew they were classified as a "vicious breed" and was hell bent on them not living up to that stigma. I read about 10 dog training books too ( BTW this is a great one http://www.amazon.com/Only-Training-Book-Will-Ever/dp/1593370156)
Know you aren't the first person to feel this way (we were in a apartment too when we got them) and I'll admit, I've only started liking them within the past year. I love them now tho. :)
(sorry about the novel!)
Oh my gosh, Drew wants to train her to ring a bell too! Does that really work? I totally scoffed at him... ;-)
ReplyDeleteAnd thank you so much for validating my feelings - I've been feeling like a horrible person for not liking the dog and I will definitely look into that book - I'm willing to try anything!
The bell completely works and works well! Jovie is totally food motivated so she picked up super quick, however, she wasn't 100% potty trained until about 9 mos. Thew isn't as big of a cookie dog as she, is but he was potty trained at 12 weeks. He got the bell ringing part eventually tho.
ReplyDeleteIf you have the time and money to take a puppy class (or beginner class since the puppy is kinda big already) I totally recommend it. You'll learn how to sit, stay and all of that. But you'll learn how to train the dog to do what you want with treats and a clicker to mark good behavior. Classes are 6 weeks long once a week and the whole series is about $100. It's all about repetition!
I swear I don't work for Petsmart! Ha!
And if you can wear that baby's little butt out by playing in the backyard or walks, she'll be a better dog all around and sleep through the night :)
She's actually really good with sit and stay and she's learning how to be easy when taking treats from our hands. It's just the pooping and peeing in the house! argh.... Plus, we have to work on the jumping on us when we come home - it's just kinda cute - she gives us hugs. :-) But I know it won't be cute when she's big enough to knock me over!
ReplyDeleteShe's already 12 weeks - do you think it's too late to start training her with the bell?
Oh my gosh no! They are never too old to learn.
ReplyDeleteHere's what you do:
Get a bell and tie it on the door she goes potty out of. Make sure the bell is long enough where she can ring it easily. I put our first one on a cute ribbon.
Take her over to the door with the bell. When she goes to sniff it or do anything with her nose at the bell say "YES!" or "Good Girl!" like you have just won the lottery and give her a small treat. After your big deal about the bell she'll probably be confused and get crazy. Just walk away and try it again a few minutes later. I used a phrase like "Ring the bell" and when they did a huge YES and cookie.
Once she makes the connection of the bell and cookie then every time she goes out tell her "Ring the bell" once she rings let her out. She'll make the connection between ringing the bell means cookies and then I go outside to potty.
Patience is key. She's gotta figure out what you want her to do. And if she doesn't get it within the first few tries, keep going and be consistent.
Then once she learns, she'll ring the bell because she's bored and wants to go outside. That drives me nuts. And then once they are out the just stand there. Ugh! We don't reward for bell ringing tho anymore.
I know ppl who give their dogs a cookie every time the go to the bathroom. Maybe you should try that when she goes potty outside. Maybe you can try that and gradually ween her off of the potty cookies.
Sorry so long again. Geez I talk too much :)
Don't even worry about it. :-) Believe me, you're helping so much with tips about the puppy and the flowers! 'Meeting' you is what I love about blogging! :-)
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh no! They are never too old to learn.
ReplyDeleteHere's what you do:
Get a bell and tie it on the door she goes potty out of. Make sure the bell is long enough where she can ring it easily. I put our first one on a cute ribbon.
Take her over to the door with the bell. When she goes to sniff it or do anything with her nose at the bell say "YES!" or "Good Girl!" like you have just won the lottery and give her a small treat. After your big deal about the bell she'll probably be confused and get crazy. Just walk away and try it again a few minutes later. I used a phrase like "Ring the bell" and when they did a huge YES and cookie.
Once she makes the connection of the bell and cookie then every time she goes out tell her "Ring the bell" once she rings let her out. She'll make the connection between ringing the bell means cookies and then I go outside to potty.
Patience is key. She's gotta figure out what you want her to do. And if she doesn't get it within the first few tries, keep going and be consistent.
Then once she learns, she'll ring the bell because she's bored and wants to go outside. That drives me nuts. And then once they are out the just stand there. Ugh! We don't reward for bell ringing tho anymore.
I know ppl who give their dogs a cookie every time the go to the bathroom. Maybe you should try that when she goes potty outside. Maybe you can try that and gradually ween her off of the potty cookies.
Sorry so long again. Geez I talk too much :)